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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » pain during penetration

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Author Topic: pain during penetration
Member # 60923

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My boyfriend and I have been having sex for a while now and every time we do it, I feel pain and therefore never reach orgasm while he does. It feels extremely tight like his penis is too big for me (and he's of a normal size) and it's as if my vagina entrance will tear. From his side, he doesn't have any pain but says that it's really tight. But we do lots of foreplay, I want to have sex at 100%, and we go slow and use plenty of lube.

I've been to a gynecologist and she told me I had not infections whatsoever, nothing seemed abnormal although she said I was feeling tensed and nervous. She told me to just relax while having sex and do more foreplay, use more lube, which are all things I already make sure are there.

I'm confused as to what could be causing the pain, I've heard of vaginismus but as far as I recall it's a condition where any penetrative sex CANNOT occur while in my case I can have sex but it's just hurt a lot to a point where I have to tell my partner to stop.

Posts: 1 | From: Canada | Registered: Apr 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 36725

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Do you find that you're also having this type of pain with other types of sex? For instance, can you or your partner insert fingers into your vagina without pain? Also, do you use tampons?

One thing we always suggest is trying intercourse/entry after you have reached orgasm, as you tend to be in a really relaxed state then. Also? Tossing an article your way: From OW! to WOW! Demystifying Painful Intercourse

"Sometimes the majority only means that all the fools are on the same side" ~Anon

Posts: 3429 | From: Pennsylvania | Registered: Jan 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 64141

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For what it's worth, I used to have this problem and I worked wonders for myself by buying a slimline vibrator (something wider than a couple of fingers but smaller than an aroused penis). After a week or two of experimenting with the vibrator (with lube and without turning the vibrate on), inserting it and holding it in for as long as felt comfortable, my body started learning to be comfortable with having something inside it. I felt less pain, I could hold it in without discomfort for longer, and it would slide further in with greater ease.

This also helped with working out exactly what angle works for me. A finger has joints in it and you can always feel your way without necessarily learning how to comfortably insert something more rigid.

[ 05-04-2011, 10:15 AM: Message edited by: Ms.M ]

Posts: 1 | From: Australia | Registered: May 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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