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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » Is it butterflies,,?

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Author Topic: Is it butterflies,,?
Kaytie
Neophyte
Member # 63561

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I recently started dating my boyfriend, and this is the first "serious" relationship i have been in. I am 18, and whenever him and i talk about sex, or something more than making out and kissing i get this really weird sick feeling in my stomach, and it's not because i'm scared to do it because i really love him and feel totally comfortable with him but i cant shake this feeling. does anyone know what it could be?

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Hey I'm Kaytie, im 18, a nursing student and i'm not sure i believe in love anymore </3

Posts: 5 | From: Canadaaa | Registered: Apr 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
KittenGoddess
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 1679

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It sounds like you're feeling some anxiety about this. Often when we've got that kind of thing going on, it may be a good indicator that we're not as ready (for whatever reason) as we may think we are. There's nothing wrong with that. This just may be your mind and body's way of telling you to slow it up a bit. How long have you been with this person?

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Sarah Liz

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Kaytie
Neophyte
Member # 63561

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weve been together 4 months

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Hey I'm Kaytie, im 18, a nursing student and i'm not sure i believe in love anymore </3

Posts: 5 | From: Canadaaa | Registered: Apr 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
KittenGoddess
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 1679

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In the grand scheme of things, 4 months isn't really that long. I don't say that to minimize the importance of your relationship.

You're talking about a pretty new partner. And that you are seeing this as a kind of relationship (however you are defining "serious") that you've not had before. With all of that newness, it's not at all surprising to have some anxiety. Again, it really sounds like this is your body/mind/heart/whatever's way of suggesting that it simply might be a bit too soon for this for you.

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Sarah Liz

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heero222
Activist
Member # 27731

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I agree with KittenGoddess that it's likely anxiety but what I recommend is setting aside some quiet time to make an honest assessment of the issue to determine exactly what part of the thought makes you anxious. To do this just ask yourself questions like "Am I worried this won't live up to my expectations", "Am I worried he won't find me as desirable when I have my clothes off or that I won't find him as desirable when I see everyting", etc. Just keeping asking yourself questions until you get that sick feeling and you'll know what it is bothering you and be able to confront it directly.
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