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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » first time help?

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Author Topic: first time help?
ajsmith
Neophyte
Member # 53494

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not really sure how to title this, to be honest haha.

so, until three days ago, i'd never done anything more than making out with a guy. thursday night i hooked up with a friend of a friend, ended up going back to his room and he fingered me, which hurt, a lot, but not so much that i couldn't continue.
then, the next night, ended up back in his room again, slightly drunk, and said i wanted to have sex with him. as soon as he entered me, it was the worst pain i've ever experienced. he felt so bad that it hurt me that much, and we gave up after about 10 minutes because i was close to tears.
i'm probably going to see him again in a few weeks time, and i really want to try it again if he does, but i don't know how i can make it hurt less. a friend said try lube, but i don't think it was a frication problem, though i can't be sure. none of my non-virgin friends said it hurt the first time, so i can't really get their advice.
any suggestions? i would honestly love you forever =D

Posts: 3 | From: England | Registered: Jan 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
September
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 25425

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Why don't we start with these articles, see if they help you out at all:
First Intercourse 101
From OW! to WOW! Demystifying Painful Intercourse

And we'd be happy to discuss any of this with you further. [Smile]

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Johanna
Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 9192 | From: Cologne, Germany | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
ajsmith
Neophyte
Member # 53494

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that's really helpful, thanks [Big Grin]

the other thing is, because i've never done it before, i'm kind of scared about giving handjobs / oral / whatever. and this guy knows that i haven't done anything like that, i told him, but i felt bad that even after attempting (and failing spectacularly) sex i didn't do anything like that, though i don't think he minded.
any useful advice / links about that?

Posts: 3 | From: England | Registered: Jan 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
September
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 25425

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Well, we can't give you any advice on technique.

But if you're scared of oral and manual sex, then that may be a good sign that you're not ready to go there yet. Our bodies are pretty good at letting us know what we are and aren't ready for.

Here are three more articles that I think would be a good read for you:
Ready or Not? The Scarleteen Sex Readiness Checklist
Be a Blabbermouth! The Whats, Whys and Hows of Talking About Sex With a Partner
Reciprocity, Reloaded

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Johanna
Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 9192 | From: Cologne, Germany | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
ajsmith
Neophyte
Member # 53494

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thank you a lot =]
this site has taken a load off my mind haha.

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AppleSooter
Neophyte
Member # 54280

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so first of all om not sure i am makeing a new post or repling to one.anyway me and my girl friend want to go to a next level and she wants to give me a blow job for the first time i have preformed oral sex on her but this will be new for both of us so the main thing on my mind is "what if i cum to early" it hasent happend befor when we did other things but there is a first for everythang. thank you for any and all of your help.
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September
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 25425

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AppleSooter, why don't you start a post of your own by clicking on the "New Topic" button? Posting at the bottom of someone else's thread is always tricky, as it may mean you'll get lost in the shuffle. Too, it makes it tough for us to figure out who's asking what.

So, just start your own topic, and we'll be happy to talk to you about this. [Smile]

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Johanna
Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 9192 | From: Cologne, Germany | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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