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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » Poly questions

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Author Topic: Poly questions
Member # 51385

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My girlfriend have been in a relationship for two years. It's been open for the majority of the relationship and we decided to make it a polyamorous relationship within the last couple of months. We have come to a couple of roadblocks in the growth of our relationship. Thus far neither of us have been in a situation where we plan to engage physically with anybody else, but that appears to be on the approach. We are both very concerned with the safety of sex, and know that it is never 100% safe, but we want to be on the cautious side especially since any ramification can affect a multitude of people.

We are gonna get tested for STDs in the VERY near future, and we decided for certain to have the rule that any direct partners must also be tested and to make sure that we're comfortable with their rules for safety. It seems hard to keep things safe beyond that point. If my partner's partners don't have a good safety screening protocol, then myself and anyone that I have as a partner could be at risk and vice versa.

Do you have any good advice for dealing with this safety issue?

Posts: 2 | From: Orlando, FL | Registered: Dec 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
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Sounds like you've already got the basics covered! The most important thing with open relationships is to make sure that everyone's communicating, and that everyone has clear boundaries and is able to assert them and stick to them.

Per safety, you'll want to make sure to get tested regularly, depending on how often you add new/different partners to the relationship. And, of course, condoms, gloves and dental dams should always be at hand. Partnered sex is never going to be risk-free, and the more partners you have the riskier it gets, but if you stick to those rules, you'll be as safe as it gets.

Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 9192 | From: Cologne, Germany | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 51385

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Thank you so much. I appreciate your help!

I was wondering on getting tested, does anyone have any advice on the best place to get affordable and thorough STD tests done? I know planned parenthood offers them but I think that the county might offer them too.

(I apologize if I should have started a new thread)

Posts: 2 | From: Orlando, FL | Registered: Dec 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Executive Director & Founder
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The CDC has a great online tool for finding testing sites, including public health agencies, here:

You can call any you find that way and your local Planned Parenthood and ask about cost right over the phone.

Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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