Donate Now
  New Poll  
my profile | directory login | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » Cold Sore... :(

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: Cold Sore... :(
cincosoles
Activist
Member # 42014

Icon 1 posted      Profile for cincosoles     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I'm very used to sharing drinks etc with one of my friends, HOWEVER I think I made a grave error. The other night, we shared a drink and she used my lipgloss, no big deal...until at the end of the night she was like "ugh, i have this annoying cold sore on my lip."

So now, the corner of my mouth is tingley, I KNOW there's going to be a cold sore there and I am TERRIFIED I now have herpes. I know something like 80% of the population has it or something or have been exposed to it....but I feel like now I'm tainted or dirty....I don't remember if I've ever had a cold sore before or not, but I KNOW this sensation and I know it's likely to be a cold sore.

I don't know how this works....if I do get a cold sore, does that mean I have herpes? What does that imply to my sexual activitieS? Can I pass it on to anyone at any time? Can I not kiss or do anything with anyone ever?

I tried to read about it online, but I'm just too confused with all the information out there........

I'm sick to my stomach right now. Just absolutely sick to my stomach.

Posts: 45 | From: US | Registered: Jan 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
coralee
Peer Ambassador
Member # 43628

Icon 1 posted      Profile for coralee         Edit/Delete Post 
This article should help a little:
http://www.scarleteen.com/article/infection/the_sti_files_herpes

Please don't feel tainted or dirty, it's not your fault. Cold sores are very common, and yes, when someone has an active cold sore they shouldn't kiss anyone or share drinks, lipstick, etc. But if a person doesn't have an active cold sore, they can kiss without fear [Smile] My parents and several of my friends get cold sores and I've never gotten one even though we share drinks, chapstick, etc all the time. The trick is to not do any of this when someone has an active cold sore or when they feel they are starting to get one.

I'd also like to point out that the tingly sensation in your lip may turn out not to be a cold sore. It could just be from chapped lips, a small cut, really a number of reasons, so don't panic too much until you know for sure.

Posts: 143 | From: USA | Registered: Aug 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
OWL Dan
Activist
Member # 49077

Icon 1 posted      Profile for OWL Dan     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Cold Sores, aka Fever Blisters, are very common and easily caught from non-sexual ways; so they should not be considered just a sexually infection any more than getting a cold or flu bug. Please read Are coldsores herpes?
and the article Coralee suggseted. Feel free to ask any further questions you may have.

--------------------
Dan

Posts: 842 | From: Ohio | Registered: Sep 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
cincosoles
Activist
Member # 42014

Icon 1 posted      Profile for cincosoles     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I think I have a little bump, and my lip is more red on that side. I've been icing it and putting arnica and vitamin e on it. but i'm just mad i got this from such a dumb way and i'm terrified i'll pass it onto people, since it's basically always possible even without active sores. thanks for your responses, i wish they made me feel better. :/
Posts: 45 | From: US | Registered: Jan 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
OWL Dan
Activist
Member # 49077

Icon 1 posted      Profile for OWL Dan     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Try to relax a little, what happened was simply one of life's many little "oops!". If you think it might be a cold sore then you may want to see your Dr or a Nurse and have it looked at to know for sure.

--------------------
Dan

Posts: 842 | From: Ohio | Registered: Sep 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
TonicTwelve
Activist
Member # 34415

Icon 1 posted      Profile for TonicTwelve     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I've had oral herpes for as long as I can remember and it usually results in anywhere between 3-20 cold sores a year. Don't freak out though, the 20 end of the scale was a one off very stressful year, and I'm pretty sure that isn't what happens to the vast majority of people. Most of the time now its down to around 3-6 a year because I know how to mange it and I can feel when I have one coming on so I can nip it in the bud fast. Even when I do get them, I can usually kick them pretty fast cause I know what works for me.

Please stop stressing, it really isn't that bad. You are not in any way dirty, its just one of those things that happen. They are annoying when you have them but they don't last long and they really won't affect your everyday life much. You can do everything you normally do except when you have an active sore or can feel one coming on. If you are not sure right now whether the tingling/swelling is a cold sore, its probably best to avoid kissing, sharing drinks etc until you are sure. If you have one, you will eventually end up with a small cluster of tiny blisters.


I have never seen a doctor about it, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't. Its just not something that you generally see a doctor about here in Australia and I have always treated it with home remedies and over the counter medication. Some stuff that works for me is:

- LYSINE!! I love lysine so much, I'm not entirely certain how or why it works (some info in a link below) but it certainly does for me. I tend to get outbreaks when I am a bit tired, stressed, not feeling well or generally run down. I take a half dose everyday during those times and I up the ante to a full dose when I can actually feel an outbreak coming on or I actually have one. For me, it reduces the symptoms and the length of the outbreak. I LOVE IT!

-Ice, if I catch it early enough has been really effective for me. If I ice it for at least 15 minutes as soon as I feel the tingling, it often gets no further than the mild swelling stage. If you miss that though, once you get past the tingling, I have found it to be pretty much useless.

-Over the counter creams eg Zovirax, Abreva, Compeed patches. I have found Zovirax does bugger all for me, no matter how early I catch the sore. Supposedly (I'm not sure if its true, but it seems to be like that with me) these creams only stop the virus reproducing and the outbreak getting worse, but don't actually speed up the healing. I used Zovirax for many years because that was pretty much the only over the counter treatment we had in Aus. It used to work but for the last few years it hasn't helped much, even when I followed the instructions to the letter. When we went on holidays to USA last year and I had an outbreak and got some Abreva. It was awesome and it really shortened the outbreak. I stocked up on it. It has a different active ingredient and I'm guessing that perhaps that virus had become immune to the ingredient in Zovirax because of the number of times I've used it. Thats just a theory though. I've only used Compeed patches once on I didn't like them that much, I found they didn't stick too well to my cold sore (it was half on and half off the lip the though so it probably was a bit of a tough ask for it to stick effectively to that) and I don't think it had much effect, though they were contantly falling off so it may be too early to judge. The biggest plus in my mind was that you can put concealer or lipstick/gloss over them so you can hide the sore a bit.

-Ok just before I describe this one, I just want to emphasise that this is really not a medical treatment, it probably isn't particularly safe and you should definitely see your doctor before you should even consider this. I didn't but I am a very bad example, so don't follow me. I found this method while googling desperately for anything that might get rid of the outbreak fast because I had school photos in two days and I was going to have to be carrying it around on my id card for the rest of the year. It works for me but it may not work for you and its a last resort. It only works when you have a fully fledged outbreak, blisters the whole shebang. First, carefully wash your hands. Run a needle or pin under boiling water, hold it in a flame, whatever you need to do to ensure that its as clean and sterile as you can reasonably get it. Then take it and carefully prick each blister to pop it. Take a clean tissue and dab away the fluid from the blisters. Then, take a clean cotton bud (q-tip) or cotton pad, dip it in nail polish remover and apply it to the sore. Do this as often as required, usually a few times a day. It dries the sore right out and perhaps the alcohol in the nail polish remover kills the herpes virus. I really don't know. I just know it fixed up my outbreak to an extent where I could cover it in concealer in two days. Of course, applying the alcohol stings like hell. Anyway, this is just something that works for me that I do occasionally. PLEASE SEE YOUR DOCTOR before you even consider this!


Wow, this is a very long post! Anyway, there are some suggestions for you. Please remember that this is not your fault, it quite possibly isn't a cold sore and even if it is you are certainly not tainted or dirty. Hope it goes well!

info about lysine and its use in treating herpes.

--------------------
~~Caitlin

"Oh baby I said,
It's all in our hands,
Got to learn to respect,
What we don't understand,
We are fortunate ones,
Fortunate ones, I swear."


Posts: 61 | From: Melbourne, Australia | Registered: Jun 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
OWL Dan
Activist
Member # 49077

Icon 1 posted      Profile for OWL Dan     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I want to Caution Everyone here that it has Not been confirmed that Cincosoles has herpes! Also, we need to stick with medically approved and known safe solutions (prescription or over-the-counter). As with all medical situations, we can not replace seeing a Dr because they can see you, know your whole history, and perform any tests they believe necessary.

--------------------
Dan

Posts: 842 | From: Ohio | Registered: Sep 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
cincosoles
Activist
Member # 42014

Icon 1 posted      Profile for cincosoles     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
No worries, sticking a needle in my lip myself if probably the last thing I'd do, but I do appreciate your advice TonicTwelve.

Now, I'm not sure if I was just paranoid or what.

My lip is tingly in the left corner, it actually woke me up last night and I immediately looked up ways to qwell a cold sore and came up with ice....iced it maybe 3-4 times since last night and have put arnica on it a lot.

I'm not sure if the bump I saw earlier is really a bump or a part of my lip ?

Now I'm even more confused, because maybe it would've been a cold sore, but since I iced it, it won't show...so now I really don't know.

I do feel it tingling though! I'm scared I'm going to pass it all over myself! Eep.

Is the only way to get tested for herpes is if you have an active sore?

Posts: 45 | From: US | Registered: Jan 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
OWL Dan
Activist
Member # 49077

Icon 1 posted      Profile for OWL Dan     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I can't tell your age but I can suggest seeing your school's nurse or student health center if that's appropriate and have them take a look. As far as testing goes, you should confirm this with your Dr or Nurse, because you have been exposed so recently your body may not have had enough time to build up the antibodies they test for when you don't have an outbreak. If it is going to be a cold sore or other infection, it will still appear. I looked up the product you mentioned and it may help with any swelling but not the cause if it is an infection ( Univ. of Maryland Medical Center - Arnica). To avoid spreading the possible infection, simply avoid touching the area and then touching anywhere else before washing your hands well. This is especially true about your eyes and face as well as your genital and rectal areas.

--------------------
Dan

Posts: 842 | From: Ohio | Registered: Sep 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
TonicTwelve
Activist
Member # 34415

Icon 1 posted      Profile for TonicTwelve     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Apologies, please edit or delete my post as you think necessary (I don't think we can edit our own posts, right?) And cincosoles, I fully understand, can't say I'm a humongous fan of it myself [Smile] I hope it all goes well for you and you feel better soon [Smile]
Posts: 61 | From: Melbourne, Australia | Registered: Jun 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
OWL Dan
Activist
Member # 49077

Icon 1 posted      Profile for OWL Dan     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Tonic Twelve, Yes you can edit your own posts by clicking on the "piece of paper with pencil" icon. As I said, we just need to error on the side of safety. [Smile]

--------------------
Dan

Posts: 842 | From: Ohio | Registered: Sep 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
TonicTwelve
Activist
Member # 34415

Icon 1 posted      Profile for TonicTwelve     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Oh duh that was obvious. I'd like to say it was because I'm tired or something, but really, I'm just not very observant. [Roll Eyes] And the point about safety makes sense, I should probably have thought about it more before I made the comment. Editing away..

Ok not editing because "the time in which you can edit your post has elapsed."
But anyway, I do apologise and cincosoles, I'm glad that you're not as silly as I was to try dumb things off google [Smile]

[ 12-06-2010, 07:37 AM: Message edited by: TonicTwelve ]

--------------------
~~Caitlin

"Oh baby I said,
It's all in our hands,
Got to learn to respect,
What we don't understand,
We are fortunate ones,
Fortunate ones, I swear."


Posts: 61 | From: Melbourne, Australia | Registered: Jun 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
OWL Dan
Activist
Member # 49077

Icon 1 posted      Profile for OWL Dan     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Cincosoles,

How are things going? Do you have any more questions? Let us know if you do. [Smile]

TonicTwelve,

What can I say, Welcome to Life! [Big Grin] If I had a dollar for every "duh" I've done, I might not have to work. [Razz]

--------------------
Dan

Posts: 842 | From: Ohio | Registered: Sep 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
cincosoles
Activist
Member # 42014

Icon 1 posted      Profile for cincosoles     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Okkkk, pretty sure I'm nuts?

I don't think I actually have a cold sore? And I don't think the 3 times I put ice on it + Arnica would've completely prevented a sore from popping up, that's not possible right?

I felt it tingling, but I am a believed in the power of though, and think maybe I willed myself to think my lip was tingling? Man, I have no idea.

I'm confused now! But i'd like to KNOW for sure, but I'm not sure quite when I should get tested, I didn't fully understand your response...?

Also, FOR THE RECORD (!) I do not think that anyone with herpes is dirty or tainted, I felt that way because there ARE some huge misconceptions about herpes and I was scared of that.

I don't mean to be totally nuts, but ever since I had my blood clot from BC, the tiniest things F R E A K me out.

THANK YOU thank you thankyou for communicating with me. [Smile]

Posts: 45 | From: US | Registered: Jan 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
cincosoles
Activist
Member # 42014

Icon 1 posted      Profile for cincosoles     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Okkkk, pretty sure I'm nuts?

I don't think I actually have a cold sore? And I don't think the 3 times I put ice on it + Arnica would've completely prevented a sore from popping up, that's not possible right?

I felt it tingling, but I am a believed in the power of though, and think maybe I willed myself to think my lip was tingling? Man, I have no idea.

I'm confused now! But i'd like to KNOW for sure, but I'm not sure quite when I should get tested, I didn't fully understand your response...?

Also, FOR THE RECORD (!) I do not think that anyone with herpes is dirty or tainted, I felt that way because there ARE some huge misconceptions about herpes and I was scared of that. It came out wrong I think and I hope I didn't offend anybody.

I don't mean to be totally nuts, but ever since I had my blood clot from BC, the tiniest things F R E A K me out.

THANK YOU thank you thankyou for communicating with me. [Smile]

Posts: 45 | From: US | Registered: Jan 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
OWL Dan
Activist
Member # 49077

Icon 1 posted      Profile for OWL Dan     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
"Okkkk, pretty sure I'm nuts?" - I think you are very normal! [Big Grin] This is even more true since you have had a previous problem. [Smile]

I still suggest talking with your Dr. simply to play it safe and hopefully to help you put your mind at ease.

There are ways to test for herpes by blood tests. They test for the bodies immune responce to an infection (antibodies). The Am. Social Health Assoc.'s web site (ashastd.org) stated that the IgG test is the most accurate. I do not know how long it would take from the time of a possible exposure to when the body has responded enough for an accurate test result. As I said before, I and the other vol's and staff are not drs and we will always recomend an in person check by a dr and/or nurse.
Please feel free to let us know how things go and if you have any more questions about anything this and other things too.

--------------------
Dan

Posts: 842 | From: Ohio | Registered: Sep 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
cincosoles
Activist
Member # 42014

Icon 1 posted      Profile for cincosoles     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I have a questioonn!

So I've just started seeing a new guy and before him, I was with one, we always used condoms for sex, but not for oral, and then the other was oral without a condom (this is basically in the past year)

Anyways, I want to go get tested for the guy I am seeing now, but I am on my parent's insurance and i don't really want to get tested at the facility where my family goes. I know with privacy laws etc...there's nothing to worry about...but wouldn't my parents see it come through on insurance bills??

So, I am wanting to go a facility, like Planned Parenthood or something but I'm not sure how that works. Some of them say they may accept your insurance there to lower costs, but won't my parents see that I used the insurance at a planned parenthood??

Do you know a ballpark amount for how much an STD/HIV test would cost?

?:/ Confused...

Posts: 45 | From: US | Registered: Jan 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
cincosoles
Activist
Member # 42014

Icon 1 posted      Profile for cincosoles     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I also go to a University here that has a health center....but I don't know how that works either.

I just don't understand how services like that can be rendered through your insurance and the members (my parents!) never knowing!

Posts: 45 | From: US | Registered: Jan 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
If you use your parent's insurance, then yes, they may be informed via the bills.

If you don't want to risk that, what you'll want to do is not to use that insurance. Clinics like Planned Parenthood have sliding scale fees, so how much it would cost is going to depend on your income.

All clinics also don't have the same fees, so the best way to find out about costs is to call where you are thinking about going, then ask them what the typical cost is for a full STI panel, including an HIV test.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
cincosoles
Activist
Member # 42014

Icon 1 posted      Profile for cincosoles     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Oh perfect!

Thank you, I plan on calling tomorrow, by the time I had decided about going to Planned Parenthood, it was after their hours for the Sunday phone line....

Wasn't aware of the sliding scales...that's pretty cool.

Thanks Heather!

Posts: 45 | From: US | Registered: Jan 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
cincosoles
Activist
Member # 42014

Icon 1 posted      Profile for cincosoles     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Back again.....

I am going to get tested this week, however, do you ALWAYS know if you have herpes, when you have an active outbreak?

I mean, will the bumps always cause you some degree of pain?

I noticed that in the back corners of my mouth I have little bumps and this morning I woke up at 3:30 am feeling really nauseous, maybe with a fever and a sore throat. I have been sick with a weird cough for about a month.

I guess...it looks like I don't take the best care of myself, but I just started a new job and have literally no time off ever.

I am feeling even worse now thinking that oh my god, this is herpes and I have gone down on the guy that I am seeing on saturday....likely giving him genital herpes, or maybe he has genital herpes and gave it to me orally...but I don't think the incubation time period is correct for that...it's only been one day. That's only making my stomach feel worse.

I'm just wondering...I wouldn't have know that bumps were there if it weren't for my paranoia and looking in the mirror.

Posts: 45 | From: US | Registered: Jan 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
cincosoles
Activist
Member # 42014

Icon 1 posted      Profile for cincosoles     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Oh but I meant to say that I've been reading about them and the "internet" says that the sores can make it painful to eat of drink....these are not painful what-so-ever.

And the sore throat etc I've been feeling, like I said I've been sick for about a month...with a cough that sometimes gets better, sometimes worse, and this week since Thursday I've gone out until 2-3AM every day so it could be general run downedness....

which i knw can also cause herpes outbreaks.

I know I just need to get a test. I just feel like talking to someone.

I am so scared for the guy I'm seeing....we're not even in an actual true relationship, I mean we've dated maybe for two months. I couldn't live with myself if I gave him genital herpes.

I should've got tested when I first was worried because of my friend's cold sore and I didn't and my negligence could cause someone else so much pain and trouble.

OH I feel absolutely terrible.

Posts: 45 | From: US | Registered: Jan 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
cincosoles
Activist
Member # 42014

Icon 1 posted      Profile for cincosoles     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
TO MAKE it worse.

Saturday was the first time I had ever gone down on him and I FREAKED OUT about him having an STD or something because we got caught up in the moment...and I didn't ask him first. He didn't finish because it wasn't an appropriate time or place to take the blow job to completion, so as far as me being infected with STDs transferred through sperm that risk is obviously low.

I freaked out on him today asking him if he had anything, when he gets tested and he goes every three months. And he said no he has no STD. He is so good and responsible with his sexual and he found this girl who IS OBVIOUSLY NOT and who is the one who ultimately suffers? The responsible one.

SORRY. I know, it's 4am....I just need to talk to someone. If I ever told me mom I thought I had herpes she would FLIP.

Also, would it be possible to get these bumps i have, they are WAY back in my mouth on my cheeks in each corner from what the SUPPOSED exposed risk was that I wrote about Dec 5? From letting my friend use my lipgloss while she had a cold sore and using it after her, and also sharing a drink? Or do the herpes generally form right where the contact waS? Like i'd expect them to be on my lips in that case.... but these little bumps are deep in my mouth.

I think I feel so awful, well a) in comparing these bumps to one picture i found on the internet they look verrryy similar and b) for my boy. [Frown]

I'm sorrrrryyy to write ll this out. I just....feel the need to.

I am so scared for HIM more than myself......

[Frown]

Feeling horrible physically and mentally and all of the above.

Posts: 45 | From: US | Registered: Jan 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
quote:
do you ALWAYS know if you have herpes, when you have an active outbreak?

I mean, will the bumps always cause you some degree of pain?

I noticed that in the back corners of my mouth I have little bumps and this morning I woke up at 3:30 am feeling really nauseous, maybe with a fever and a sore throat. I have been sick with a weird cough for about a month.

Not everyone knows that a herpes outbreak is a herpes outbreak so no, people don't always know.

Also, herpes sores are on and around the lips: they are not deep inside the mouth.

But whatever your symptoms are from, I think it's important you get seen as soon as you can, okay? Were you able to make an appointment?

Per your worries about this guy, did you BOTH agree not to use a condom for the oral sex? Did he take out a condom, and did you refuse to use it?

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
cincosoles
Activist
Member # 42014

Icon 1 posted      Profile for cincosoles     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Hmmm, theses bumps are at the very back of my mouth, who knows, i could've always had them...and this new relationship with someone i just met is freaking me out.

I can't make an appointment until Saturday, and that's Christmas....the one day PP is open until 7, I have an exam for that day. So I'm not sure when I can actually get in.

Uff, I have to go though the mental anguish is k i l l i n g me.

I think I have some sort of upper respiratory illness going on, and have a itchy/froggy/sore throat, headache and a nasty-ish sounding cough...so that's confusing me too.

The bumps aren't red...they're kind of just the same color as my cheek.

If I did have oral herpes, and I passed it on to him, he may not know immediately either...I mean through kissing....because up until Saturday, that's all we had really done.

So herpes sores are basically always around the lips? Do they always present like this?

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_Daw6qT2WWxk/SZg-x_JkJ1I/AAAAAAAABoo/o5oXyltko5M/s320/2.14cankersore.bmp

Mine don't like like that really. No white, not very red....

I've still never gotten a cold sore on my lips.

I think I can mentally will myself to have illnesses.

No one refused to use a condom, we just.....didn't.....

Well, this made me feel a little better.

I don't know what to tell my boy though...I wish I could get in sooner than Saturday just to know....and since Saturday is Xmas and the next New YEars, who knows. I'll have to see if they are open. I forgot to look.

Posts: 45 | From: US | Registered: Jan 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
cincosoles
Activist
Member # 42014

Icon 1 posted      Profile for cincosoles     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Oops, let me rephrase some things

I meant to make this more of a question:

WE've been seeing each other for about two months, and since then we've only kissed. He's gone down on me once, maybe 2 weeks ago and then I on him last Saturday.

If I were positive for herpes, that wouldn't necessarily mean that he'd automatically get it through kissing? THere's been two months of time that he could've contracted it...though I've never really had a cold sore or anything...Once your exposed will you have an outbreak within the incubation time for sure, or not always?

Man, I really sound crazy.

Posts: 45 | From: US | Registered: Jan 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
STI transmission -- or lack of it -- is never a given. Whether or not someone gets an STI is in some ways up to chance, and also about their overall health. If we're sick with something, for instance, we're way more likely to get an STI.

So, no, it wouldn't mean it was automatic.

But you know, talking about what could happen with an STI you don't even know you have can often be a fruitless endeavor, and a real waste of energy. By all means, if you need education about STIs in general and how to prevent them, we should talk about that, but I don't think it's sound to invest a lot of time talking hypotheticals.

I do not hear you describing what sounds like herpes here, but how about we wait on this until you get tested?

In the meantime, how about the two of you talk about safer sex now? It sounds like you didn't before, so it's part time. I want you to come to that talk recognizing you are BOTH responsible for protecting yourselves, not just YOU.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
cincosoles
Activist
Member # 42014

Icon 1 posted      Profile for cincosoles     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Your're right. Sorry, I don't mean to waste your time. Just have no one else to talk to or worry with. It's impossible not to worry.

this is just basically all on me....and it's going to be hard to feel ok until I can go in...which isn't for a while.

Thanks.

Posts: 45 | From: US | Registered: Jan 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
You absolutely did not waste my time, I promise. I'm sorry that you feel so scared and so unable to talk to anyone else: that's not something I want for anyone, in any situation.

And while I'm ending my workday today, if you want to talk about how to best protect yourself and partners from risks of all STIs moving forward tomorrow, I'd be glad to do that with you.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
cincosoles
Activist
Member # 42014

Icon 1 posted      Profile for cincosoles     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Ok, I shifted around my work schedule and got an appointment tomorrow, yey! Though, I hear that sometimes results can take up to two weeks.....booo....


I'm wondering if you have any suggestions on how I should handle this with my boy.

I noticed today I've got all these tiny little bumps on the roof of my mouth back near my throat...

I have some sort of respiratory illness, bad cough and sore/itchy throat so I can't distinguish symptoms but finding those today made me fall back into worry mode. My throat.back of mouth is itchy but like I said I don't know if that's the sore throat or what. Still I don't have any pain from the bumps on my cheeks...

ANYWAYS. Why I'm writing again is this:

How do I approach this with the guy I'm, seeing?


Do I say: Hey, I noticed that I have some bumps in my mouth, I've made an appointment and will let you know the results, until then, let's cool it on everything. Kissing too huh? [Frown] For twoo weeekkksss...oh difficulties of difficulties.

or

Do I not say anything to him, continue to refrain from anything with him (though that'll be a hard one to explain to him about why I suddenly don't want to kiss him...without mentioning my worries) until I get my results...?

I don't want to send him into a tizzy if it's unnecessary, but I do want him to be aware...

Every time I see his name flash on my phone as a call or text I'm terrified it's going to be him telling me a gave him herpes. :/

Thanks for your advice.

Posts: 45 | From: US | Registered: Jan 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Stephanie_1
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 36725

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Stephanie_1     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Honestly, it's best to just refrain, even if it will be hard. But you can simply tell him that you're not sure what's going on yet, but want to make sure if it's something that may be caught you're being careful for his health as well. It will make less questions in the end just to let him know something. Make sense?

--------------------
"Sometimes the majority only means that all the fools are on the same side" ~Anon

Posts: 3429 | From: Pennsylvania | Registered: Jan 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
SidonieAdena
Neophyte
Member # 49815

Icon 1 posted      Profile for SidonieAdena     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I want to clear something up: while you need to get tested, and are going to get tested, and while that will give you conclusive answers, the link you posted is a picture of a canker sore, not a cold sore. They're often confused, but they're totally different things. Canker sores are not caused by herpes at all.

At any rate: I would talk to him.

Posts: 22 | From: Earth | Registered: Nov 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

  New Poll   Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3