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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » Spermaphobia

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Author Topic: Spermaphobia
clare.is.here
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Member # 48642

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Hi,
I'm writing because of a problem I'm having regarding my mental blocks sex-wise.

My wonderful boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year, and we have engaged in oral and manual sexual stuff, but never penetration. I was talking with my mom when the topic of my boyfriend came up and she said that (and I quote) "If you got pregnant, your life would be over." I asked if she would support me in the event of something like that and said no. My mom is generally very supportive but this seems to be a catch for her.

Since then, I've been paranoid about my sexual activity. We are a very safe couple, if he's cum, we both wash up before he touches me down there, and we always keep safe distances when engaging in sexual stuff. I seem not to keep my mind off the possibility that I might get pregnant however, even when we're having fun and messing around. This stops me from enjoying what we're doing, and makes us both uncomfortable in the situation. I'm scared.

Help? How do I get over my spermaphobia? [Frown]

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Clare

Posts: 4 | From: My Basement Bedroom | Registered: Aug 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Karybu
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 20094

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First of all, I'm so sorry your mom said what she did. (And, so it's clear, pregnancy is absolutely not the end of the world. Dealing with an unintended pregnancy can be tough, for sure, but it isn't life-ending.)

As for getting over this worry, it may help to read up on exactly what poses a risk and what doesn't, and how pregnancy happens. (For what it's worth, oral and manual sex are not risky activities when it comes to pregnancy.) So:

Pregnancy Scared?
Where DID I Come From? A Refresher Course in Human Reproduction

You also always have the option of stepping back from any kind of sexual activity until you feel a bit more comfortable with any potential risks.

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"Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing." -Arundhati Roy

Posts: 5799 | From: Canada/Australia | Registered: Sep 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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