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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » Vaginal intercourse without having oral sex

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Author Topic: Vaginal intercourse without having oral sex
LemonIceTea
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Member # 48071

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My mom said I should have oral sex before I even think of having intercourse. The thought of oral sex is not at all appealing to me. Is there something wrong with me? Am I jumping several steps here?
Posts: 10 | From: USA | Registered: Jul 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Fezzz
Neophyte
Member # 48000

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Everyone is has different outlooks on sexual stuff. There is nothing wrong with you if you don't like oral sex. That is your mom's opinion, not yours. [Smile]

Technically there are no steps to having sex... only if you want it to be. But, like I said, that is up to you. [Smile]

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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What your Mom might have been suggesting is that going RIGHT to intercourse without having had other kinds of sex first can tend to be something that doesn't tend to work out too well for people. We tend to learn things about our own sexuality and body, our partner's and about sexual communication with other sexual activities that make intercourse a lot more likely to be pleasurable for both partners, or even fill us in that maybe intercourse with someone isn't such a great idea.

In a word, going right to intercourse without having engaged in at least some other sexual activities first is kind of like trying to learn to swim by just jumping in the deep end without ever spending time with swimming lessons, water wings, or in the wading pool.

Know what I mean?

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Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
lanny johnson
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Member # 48093

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i think that is a good idea to have oral sex before have other intercourse because is much different

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lanny johnson

Posts: 4 | From: jersey city | Registered: Jul 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Yakri
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Member # 43206

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quote:
Originally posted by LemonIceTea:
My mom said I should have oral sex before I even think of having intercourse. The thought of oral sex is not at all appealing to me. Is there something wrong with me? Am I jumping several steps here?

I don't think there is anything wrong with skipping oral sex if it doesn't appeal to you, but I think it's worth trying. I thought oral sex was going to be awesome, then I actually did it, and it was fine, but I found out I much preferred manual sex, because I like to be able to see my partners face, and I like to hold them.

I do think you should work your way up to intercourse, my partner and I sort of jumped the gun on intercourse, we both really WANTED to have sex, and felt comfortable with it, but despite that, we weren't really ready, and it was a bit of a train wreck.

Do whatever feels right for you, and whatever you are comfortable doing. Don't do anything you don't want to do, especially not because it fits into someone else's idea of some pre-determined order various sexual activities should take.

PS. There definitely is not some step oriented time delayed system for sexual intimacy in a relationship. Whatever you feel is normal is normal, it's different for everyone.

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Chin up and face the future, wonders beyond your wildest dreams await us!

Posts: 47 | From: Crescent city, CA. | Registered: Jul 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Smiley64
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Exactly. Do what you are comfortable with, it doesn't matter what everyone else considers "normal." For example, my I performed oral sex on my boyfriend because we were both comfortable with that. We have also had sex, but still haven't done oral sex on me, just because I'm not comfortable with that yet. So it's all what you feel is good for you. =)
Posts: 169 | From: usa | Registered: Jun 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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