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» Got Questions? Get Answers. » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » No orgasm through manual sex

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Author Topic: No orgasm through manual sex
be bright
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Member # 47069

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First off, I'd like to say...hello! [Smile]

Secondly, the reason I created this topic. (I filled out one of those "Ask Us" things before realizing that the forums were a better place! Silly me.) My boyfriend and I have been sexually active for a little under a year now. I'm lucky to have found someone I can really bond with and also have lots of fun with [Wink] through sex, but we haven't been able to get myself to come to orgasm yet.

Our sex is so good that my orgasm would just be the cherry on top, and my inability to climax is not impeding in our relationship in any way, but I guess I just came here to get advice/suggestions from others. [Big Grin]

Before being with my boyfriend, I masturbated to orgasm, but never by fingering myself. I place something (usually my hand) between my thighs and rub/rock until I orgasmed. This was always with at least panties on, mind you, so I've never come without clothes. When my boyfriend manually stimulates me, it feels REALLY good (better than what I feel when I masturbate -- hence orgasm not being the key), but it never "resolves." My pleasure level will just stay up top. I've been thinking that maybe the stimulation he gives me through manual sex is too strong for what I'm used to...?

So anyhow, I'd like to reiterate that this isn't a major issue in our sex life. I've made it really clear to him that I simply like the pleasure I get from oral/manual sex because it's more enjoyable than an orgasm. But we ARE perplexed by its elusiveness!

Posts: 10 | From: Smog Angeles | Registered: May 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Karybu
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Have you showed your boyfriend how you masturbate? It is possible for our bodies to become used to a certain kind of stimulation, and everyone prefers slightly different ways of being touched. If your boyfriend can use his hands in a similar way to what you do when you masturbate, that might make it easier for you to reach orgasm.

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"Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing." -Arundhati Roy

Posts: 5758 | From: Canada/Australia | Registered: Sep 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
robot_on_fire
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remember many women orgasm through their clitoris rather than vaginal simulation
Posts: 92 | From: las vegas | Registered: Feb 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
be bright
Neophyte
Member # 47069

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Karybu, thanks for the suggestion. I'll put it on a to-do list, ha ha...

And robot - yeah, I know. When I'm talking about manual sex I'm talking about such that gives clitoral stimulation.

Posts: 10 | From: Smog Angeles | Registered: May 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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