Donate Now
We've Moved! Check out our new boards.
  New Poll  
my profile | directory login | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » is it too young? :S

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: is it too young? :S
the.blackout
Neophyte
Member # 46845

Icon 1 posted      Profile for the.blackout     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
So I'm fourteen...and the a few weeks ago when my boyfriend came over, we ended up lying down and just hugging and stroking really tight and stuff, and then his hand sort of went down and started rubbing my clitoris...it actually felt really good and everything, but I told my friends and they were like, 'God Emily, you're 14!'
His hands started finding their way into my pants but I stopped him cause I wasn't quite ready. Mainly I just needed to shave however I didn't tell him that...I wouldn't have minded generally.
So is that too young? :/

Posts: 2 | From: the maze of life :D | Registered: Apr 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Well, I hear you saying you stopped it because YOU didn't feel ready. So, if YOU feel it's not time, it isn't time.

There isn't any one right age for when sex of any kind is right. When sex of any kind is right for a person -- which it will be sometimes and won't other time whether we're 14 or 44 -- is about what that person wants, what that person can handle (including all the responsibilities of sex), if that person feels empowered to advocate for themselves, and the relationship/situation it might happen in.

So, beyond shaving, how do you feel, for example, about being able to be in control of what happens, rather than having a partner just do something without asking? How ready are you to start getting sexual healthcare (how about him, too)? How informed are you about your body? How ready do you feel to talk to parents or other adults about this, or to deal with people at school who might find out and talk about your sex life?

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
the.blackout
Neophyte
Member # 46845

Icon 1 posted      Profile for the.blackout     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Well, I feel like I am in control, he didn't rush in to it...he's been sort of putting his hands around that area for ages, sort of hinting that he could've gone further and I feel in control because I know I could stop it if I wanted to. Like for example he said he was sorry when I told him to stop, so I know he appreciates what I think about it...
I think I'm quite well-informed...mainly cause I watched the sex-ed show [Smile] That was really good.
And sexual healthcare wise, I think I'm ready to think about that and the consequences and stuff. I don't want to talk to parents, or really other adults, because I generally have always found this kinda thing embarassing - but I have older friends and cousins who I do talk to about it. I just haven't had the chance to recently [Smile]
Thankyou though

Posts: 2 | From: the maze of life :D | Registered: Apr 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
So, I see a couple things to check in with.

One thing is that when people really have the maturity for sex (which again, isn't just about age, would that it were!), they can talk openly about sex and what they want, rather than "hinting," or just doing things with hands instead of asking very directly first. can you two talk about that and make those changes?

With sexual healthcare, you are going to need to talk to your providers about this, who will be adults. can you handle that? Can he do the same? Like, when you ask that he gets tested in a few months, do you think he'll step up and do that?

That's great you have some people older than you in your life you can talk to: it always helps a lot. Maybe this week you can call one up and talk with them about this, too?

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

  New Poll   Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3