Donate Now
  New Poll  
my profile | directory login | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » "The talk"

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: "The talk"
forspecial
Neophyte
Member # 43526

Icon 1 posted      Profile for forspecial     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
So, my baby sister has recently turned 13, and although she hasn't really started puberty yet, I feel like she needs to get a sex talk. The sex ed in my district is absolutely miserable, and my parents are no help. I got to where I am as far as knowledge by doing my own research to fill in the gaps. My sister is smart enough to do this, but I'm afraid that she's too naive to be critical of information she might find on the internet. I don't want to give link her here and say "Go," that's so hands-off. I want my sister to be able to come to me with any questions she might have about her body or sex or relationships.

Does anyone have any tips for getting the conversation started or what I should address? I feel like almost all the information is age appropriate, except maybe stuff about contraceptives (but I want to leave the conversation in a place where she'll feel comfortable asking me when she gets there).

Posts: 39 | From: Misourri | Registered: Jul 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
It's helpful to recognize that the idea of the talk," as in, talk, singular, is flawed. What people tend to need growing up are a number of discussions, and just to have the door feel open to ask questions as they come up.

So, the first thing you can do is just let her know that you're available if she has questions about her body, about sex, about relationships. A good way to open that door might be to tell her that you had a hard time getting your questions answered, so wanted to be sure she didn't wind up in the same spot.

Then you can ask her if she has any questions at this time. We don't have to guess at what is or isn't age-appropriate for someone if were letting them ask us what questions they have. Know what I mean?

You can also ask her if she'd like to have any books or websites for information: sometimes people are more comfortable looking up that information themselves, after all. If she wants those, you can help her by giving her resources you know to be sound and accurate.

[ 02-15-2010, 03:28 PM: Message edited by: Heather ]

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
forspecial
Neophyte
Member # 43526

Icon 1 posted      Profile for forspecial     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Thanks so much, Heather. I really appreciate your input. My sister and I have a kind of strained relationship since I moved out of my mom's house a couple of years ago and I want her to know that I'm there for her, particularly when she starts navigating the dating world.
Posts: 39 | From: Misourri | Registered: Jul 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
You're welcome. Good on you for being such an awesome sister. I wish I'd been able to be there for my sister that way.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

  New Poll   Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3