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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » New here... and need help

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Author Topic: New here... and need help
alostsolo
Neophyte
Member # 44343

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Hello everyone. I'm new to Scarleteen but I found it pretty useful and helping [Smile] so I hope you can help me too.
Ok so here's my story... I'm 17 and pretty low confident lol i have no real experience with girls... and the last relationship I had was the first to involve making out... so i don't know what girls think about making out and how you do stuff and everything... you know what i mean...
Well, there weren't any problems i just did what i felt and tried to make it so that she is happy and secure with everything we do... and well it was ok except for one little thing...

ok this is a bit embarrassing... well we were making out and everything and she started squeezing my testicles and well for several minutes everything was fine but after a while I ejaculated... generally everything was fine since it didn't bother her or anything.. but i just have to know a few things:

1) Do you girls really hate it when guys ejaculate fast or something like that..?

2) Sorry if I sound rude but... do girls really like squeezing the testicles that hard... [Confused]

3) I don't know if i am easily aroused.. i don't think so.. but i think i read somewhere that squeezing the testicles makes you ejaculate fast... is it true?

4) Again, I'm really new to everything so i'm just trying to understand and learn. Our relationship was over since she wanted us to stay good friends rather than more than that... i'm not depressed about the break up or anything.. it's just that i think it's weird to just stop everything even though you've been through some emotional stuff and maybe more... you might laugh cuz it was only 2 weeks... but well... i'm a really sensitive guy and i get too serous about relationships... tell me if there's something wrong with the way i think... maybe it's because i never had much experience with girls... i only dated 3 girls which told me they don't feel the same about me... i don't know how to feel...

I was looking for information about the whole premature ejaculation thing... now, i don't think i have this problem... not seriously anyways.. i think it's just an experience thing...
Regardless of the situation I'm working out with the Kegel method and the PC muscles.. i guess there's nothing wrong with working out your muscles lol...
I'm ok about the breakup i'm just trying to learn and understand how these things work.. i mean i don't know if it's gonna be the same with every girl.. i guess every girl has her own ways of being with her partner...

You all sound like good ppl who are willing to help so i try to be open and tell the truth about how i feel and everything.. lol sorry if i babble too much... [Smile]

Any help would be appreciated and sorry if i got rude somehow... [Smile]

Posts: 4 | From: Israel | Registered: Oct 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
September
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 25425

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Welcome to ST!

We cannot tell you how 'most girls' feel about 'fast ejaculation' because that assumes that a) there is one certain way that most girls feel about something and b) that there is such a thing as ejaculating too fast. If you want to know how the girl you were with feels about it, you'll have to ask her. However, you'd also have to define what you mean by ejaculating 'quickly', and also why it should matter. You'll ejaculate when you do, and if you feel like it you'll go on with other sexual activity, and if you don't then you don't. That's all there is to it.

Same for your second question: There is no way I can tell you what girls do or don't like when it comes to sexual activity, because girls aren't a uniform mass. They are individuals with their own unique likes and dislikes. So if you want to know something about the girl you're with, you're ask her. And if she's doing something that doesn't feel too good to you, you should let her know that, too.

How quickly we are aroused, and how quickly we go from arousal to climax, is very individual as well. Too, for any given individual, it's not going to be the same every single time they have sex. It depends on a lot of different factors. And there are certainly also going to be sexual activities that get us off faster than others, but that's also more individual than uniform.

I'm not sure what you're asking in your fourth question. It sounds like you're wondering why this girl ended your sexual relationship so suddenly? Have you asked her for the reason? Because she's going to be the person who's able to explain her reasons to you. So I think you should ask to have a conversation with her, and tell her that you're wondering why she changed her mind. You might want to let her know that this isn't about trying to get her back, just about understanding what happened.

Lastly, I think it would be a good idea to let go of the idea of 'premature ejaculation'. That term doesn't really mean anything, because it assumes that there is a set time when a male ought to ejaculate, and anything before that is premature. But, well, there isn't such a time. As I said before, this'll depend on the person, on the sexual activity, and on lots of different other individual factors. So just try not to worry too much about that.

I'm linking you to a few articles that I think you'll find helpful:
Be a Blabbermouth! The Whats, Whys and Hows of Talking About Sex With a Partner
Sexual Response & Orgasm: A Users Guide

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Johanna
Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 9192 | From: Cologne, Germany | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
alostsolo
Neophyte
Member # 44343

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hmm... i think i didn't express myself the right way...

I was just asking a general question.. like what do girls think about the first questions...
if i made the impression that i believe all girls feel the same about a subject, then my apologizes to all [Smile] I definitely understand that everyone are aroused and like different things and have different behavior.. I believe I've mentioned it...

About the premature ejaculation, thank you. I understand that it shouldn't bother me that much, but again i'm just asking for opinions of people.

It's kind of hard to explain the relationship we had... if we had any problem we talked about it.. and we're not gonna talk much about the subjects i mentioned.. i just don't think i can talk to her about it...
As I have mentioned before, i'm inexperienced and asking for opinions and tips that's all... believe me I've already looked for answers all over the internet but just didn't exactly get the answers I was looking for... or the questions so I figured I should ask them myself...

Regarding my fourth question, again I'm asking for opinions about the situation I'm in.. cuz like i said i didn't have many relationships so i don't know how will it be... i'm not looking for the sexual activity.. i believe it should come from both sides.. i just don't want to be surprised by anything.. i know it all comes with experience but i just want to know what others think...

Posts: 4 | From: Israel | Registered: Oct 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
September
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 25425

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Well, the thing is, everyone is going to give you a different opinion. And the only opinion that's going to really matter at any given time is the one of the person you're seeing, ya know? If I had an opinion on ejaculation, I could tell you, but that would be pretty useless to you since that's only MY opinion and we're not likely to ever date. [Smile]

So I understand that you're looking for opinions to get a better idea of what dating and being sexually active entails. And I do understand the desire to hear what it's like for other people. But I think it's a good idea to be aware that hearing others' opinions is going to be only so useful to you. For the most part, you'll have to discover for yourself what works for you, and talk to any partners you may have about what works for them.

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Johanna
Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 9192 | From: Cologne, Germany | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
alostsolo
Neophyte
Member # 44343

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well... i didn't think otherwise about all you said.. but.. ok, i guess.. thanks anyways...
Posts: 4 | From: Israel | Registered: Oct 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Onionpie
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 41699

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I agree with September. Asking for people's opinions or likes and dislikes in this situation really isn't going to help you out much, because everyone has a different opinion!

I highly doubt you'd even get some sort of average/most common opinion -- I think, if there were one, the most common opinion from people would be that "premature ejaculation" really doesn't bother them, and that they aren't put off by their partner ejaculating "too fast" (and that there isn't even such a thing).

However, as joey said, that's only going to be so useful because in the end, it's just the person you're with whose opinion should matter!

You want to know "how it will be", and you don't want to be surprised by anything. Truth is, you're going to be surprised by a lot, if you're expecting anything. Because everyone is so different, no two people will be the same, and thus each partner/experience with a partner will come as SOME sort of surprise if you have any expectations! So it's best not to EXPECT anything when it comes to dating or sexual activities -- just explore and discover [Smile]

And there's really no way that dating or relationships "will be" because it's such an individual thing, the only way to really find out is to explore it yourself, feeling out how it works for YOU. Because WE really can't tell you something that's so individual to YOU (and it'll even vary from relationship to relationship, so YOU can't even really define exactly how all relationships will be for you!) [Smile]

If you're still curious, I'd suggest browsing Scarleteen and reading some of the articles [Big Grin] Joey linked to some awesome articles, so you can start from there and explore! [Cool]

Posts: 1311 | From: Ontario, Canada | Registered: Dec 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
alostsolo
Neophyte
Member # 44343

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Again, I say i didn't think otherwise about everything that you've said... but i guess i'll settle with that...
thanks.

[ 10-14-2009, 09:20 AM: Message edited by: alostsolo ]

Posts: 4 | From: Israel | Registered: Oct 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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