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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » Her virginity

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Author Topic: Her virginity
Alaldin
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Member # 44334

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OK well my friend wants me to take her virginty being that im not a virgin because shes scared of what may happen with someone else. But the thing is i have never taken a girls virginty before so i dont know what to expect. My real question is like when i go in what should i expect like is there anything that may happen as i begin. Thanks to anyone that can help......
Posts: 1 | From: Alabama | Registered: Oct 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Onionpie
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 41699

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Hey, Alaldin, welcome to Scarleteen! I hope you have a pleasant time here [Smile]

The thing is, virginity isn't a tangible, physical thing; it's a concept. Depending on her age, her hymen will probably be almost completely eroded away, if not entirely. So for one thing, there won't be any "popping" of any "cherry". There won't be anything really different based on her being a virgin -- I mean, all vaginas are different, but that's not anything to do with virginity. That's simply because everyone's body is different.

I'd also consider explaining to her that there is nothing fundamentally different between having sex with a virgin and having sex with a non-virgin. Simply having had sex before doesn't make you any "better" at sex because what is "good" depends entirely on the relationship and other person at hand. So if she only wants to do it out of fear of what might happen with someone who is also a virgin, I'd suggest trying to talk through that fear with her, and maybe even suggesting she come and read some articles here on Scarleteen.

However, it is certainly her choice, so if she really DOES want to have sex with you, then here's what to expect: Nothing different. You should do what you should always be doing to make sex feel good -- lots of other stuff beforehand to make sure she's aroused, checking in with her to make sure she's still okay with it, making sure you're doing what feels good for her, etc. She may be very nervous, so I'd suggest really focussing on making sure she's fully aroused before attempting intercourse. And if it hurts her, DON'T just keep going, take a step back and continue with the other sexual activities and making sure there's nothing wrong.

Here are a few things you might find interesting and/or useful to read:

20 Questions About Virginity
Magical Cups and Bloody Brides: Virginity in Context

and this article includes some good ideas to keep in mind for making sex as enjoyable as possible for her:
From OW! to WOW! Demystifying Painful Intercourse

And if you feel it's a good idea, you could show her THIS article about readiness for sex, just to make sure [Smile]

Hope this info helped!

Posts: 1311 | From: Ontario, Canada | Registered: Dec 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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