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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » anorgasmia help?

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Author Topic: anorgasmia help?
theusection
Neophyte
Member # 43621

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hello, i'm still a teenager who doesn't have sex often, but i believe i have anorgasmia because during every sexual encounter, i cannot finish through vaginal intercourse. The internet has thus far been fruitless in treatments, hypnosis and sex therapy aren't options i can partake in...is there such a thing as directed masturbation for males? and if so what kind of techniques can i use? this problem is really frustrating, and i feel like it has to do with frequent masturbation. if anyone could help that would be great!

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theusection

Posts: 2 | From: US | Registered: Aug 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
NonStraightAnswers
Activist
Member # 41629

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From your post I'm unclear on whether you're having trouble reaching orgasm just with intercourse or with any sexual activity...Are you frustrated just with your response to intercourse, to all partnered sex, or to all sexual activity including masturbation?

If you're reaching orgasm through masturbation or other types of sex, you're not anorgasmic. If the non-orgasm is with any partnered sex, there are a lot of reasons that could be and the volunteers and users here are pretty great at helping people talk through them.

If the non-orgasm is only with intercourse, I've got to ask how much you actually *enjoy* intercourse. Your body might just not tend to get as much from that sensation as it does others, and that kind of variation is totally normal. Why not stick with the things that you *do* enjoy? If you *are* enjoying the sensation (and, actually, even if you're anorgasmic with any type of sex but are enjoying yourself), then try not to stress so much about orgasm. It's only one part of sexual response, and what's critical is that you're enjoying (in a safe, consensual way) what you're doing. Worrying about when you're going to come is likely to just freak you out and make things worse, you know?

Posts: 63 | From: DC, MA, IL, IS - changes every couple years | Registered: Dec 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
theusection
Neophyte
Member # 43621

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yeah, that may be a good idea i can reach orgasm through masturbation, but not from oral or vaginal intercourse with my partner, she is my first partner and i can only respond to hand stimulation to orgasm. Psychological aspects aside, i feel like it is likely because i've conditioned myself to a certain pace during masturbation whereas regular intercourse is much slower and a different feeling. Would cutting back on masturbation help to achieve orgasm through vaginal intercourse? That and of course focusing on just enjoying the sex (and thanks for your help!)

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theusection

Posts: 2 | From: US | Registered: Aug 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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