Donate Now
Post New Topic  New Poll  Post A Reply
my profile | directory login | register | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Got Questions? Get Answers. » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » Orgasm

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: Orgasm
Innuendo
Neophyte
Member # 39613

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Innuendo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
For the sake of efficiency, I'll get right to the point, and you can assume there's a deep emotional connection between me and my partner--there is.

I was in a two year relationship that was an emotional roller coaster didn't result in much sexual activity. I was infatuated, as teenagers are, the relationship went from when I was 14 to when I was 16, but eventually I realized the pointlessness of the relationship, the harmfulness of it, and the real self of my partner. I finally acquired enough maturity and was able to break it up, finally for good.

I was completely disappointed with love. I surrender in trying to pursue it, and so sought for meaningless (rather, less meaningful) sex. ******* instead of making love, if you will. A couple of months later, I had sex for the first time, my partner was a virgin too. Of course, it being our first time, and not being very planned, it wasn't as enjoyable as it should have been. We stopped talking, not for sexual reasons, and that was that. After her, I had another sexual partner that did result in actual, orgasmic sex. Nevertheless, I hadn't yet developed a sense of what true making love is.

This summer I met my current partner, let's call her Lily. We were taking a summer course, and because we only had a month together we took things extremely fast, both emotionally and sexually. I got to love her not more than three days after meeting her, and we made love in the fourth. Before Lily, I hadn't really bothered in my sexual partner's pleasure, as I really didn't have such an emotional connection. With Lily, though, I learnt, or so she said, that girls don't usually have an orgasm during sex, and so we achieved her orgasms through oral and manual stimulation. It still bothered me, though, that she couldn't come with me inside of her, or that we couldn't come simultaneously. Even when we used ribbed condoms, we had proper and prolonged foreplay and both of achieved high arousal, and I thrusted on missionary position with a pillow below her hips (which she said felt best) for a long time, sometimes up to thirty minutes, she couldn't achieve orgasm through sex. Also, when performing cunnilingus or manual stimulation it takes an exhausting while for her to come, over twenty minutes, even after perfecting my technique with her guidance. As a final sidenote, it takes her just as long to orgasm when she is masturbating. Oh, the bright side of it, though, is that when she does orgasm its really intense. So much so as to stir jealousy in me, as I feel my orgasms don't achieve that level of intensity, even if they, when they are Lily-caused, leave my knees trembling.

The summer course is over and I'm back in Colombia, my home country, and she is thousands of miles away, but our love is still pure and strong. And our sexuality is surviving through clumsy cyber long distance mutual masturbation. As I want our first night together again, which is an eternal five months away, to be as amazing as possible, sexually, emotionally, intellectually, spiritually, I wish to know how I should proceed to ensure a mindblowing orgasm for her during sex, and not as an afterthought after my orgasm during sex. I know you guys can't describe techniques, but I'm curious if there is anything I could do to make it easier, and a better experience, for both of us, or if its just a harsh fact of life that she can only achieve orgasm through extended clitoris stimulation.

Wops, I seem to have gotten carried away. I guess the first sentence is useless, then. Hrhr. Sorry if its a pain reading through this.

I'd appreciate anyone's thoughts or comments.

Oh, another sexual inquiry that popped into my mind. It hasn't really been a problem but I'd like to know possible explanations. When I was younger and used to masturbate alot, sometimes I would feel an intense (really intense) pain in my neck, like a cramp. It goes away 5-10 seconds later, maybe even less, but it really hurts. This happened once with Lily, when she made me orgasm about four times in the stretch of an hour or too. I'm just throwing this out there to see if anyone has had a similar experience or knows something of this.

Sincerely,
A star-crossed lover.

P.S I'm sorry if posting the same thread in two different sections is frowned upon, but I'd like the comments of everyone, not just Scarleteen.

[ 08-02-2008, 02:01 AM: Message edited by: Innuendo ]

Posts: 2 | From: Colombia | Registered: Aug 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
September
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 25425

Icon 1 posted      Profile for September     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Innuendo - Please don't double-post. It's against the guidelines you agreed to when you signed up. I answered your question here:
http://www.scarleteen.com/forum/ultimatebb.php?/ubb/get_topic/f/27/t/019561.html

If you want answers from our users as well, we can close your post in the Expert Only section. Leaving them both open will only cause confusion for everyone involved. Let us know what you want us to do.

[ 08-02-2008, 02:28 AM: Message edited by: September ]

--------------------
Johanna
Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 9172 | From: Cologne, Germany | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Blue Koi
Activist
Member # 39785

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Blue Koi     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
WebMD says the painful cramp can be potassium deficiency: http://blogs.webmd.com/sexual-health-sex-matters/2006/05/orgasm-and-migraines.html

It could also be lack of calcium or zinc, so check with your doctor

--------------------
"Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions."

Posts: 171 | From: USA/CHINA | Registered: Aug 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

Quick Reply
Message:

HTML is not enabled.
UBB Code™ is enabled.

Instant Graemlins
   


Post New Topic  New Poll  Post A Reply Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3