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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » im scared

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Author Topic: im scared
Jaswinder
Neophyte
Member # 38757

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hi.

yesterday i invited my boyfriend to my house. i took him to ma bedroom but didnt think of having sex. he then got me on my bed and was kissing me. then he asked if he cud have sex with me-i said NO IM SCARED, he was like trust me it will b fine... then he was like DONT U TRUST ME?! i was reli hesistant.

i am quite shy and it was my last dai of my period so I had a tampon. he wanted anal sex, so he did anal ses and didnt use a condom. he said it hurt him so he got oil and put it on his penis and put it on me.

then he wanted me to give him a blow job- i was sayin noo but got pressurised into that too. i cud taste blood on his penis and he wanted deep throat, so i did. i told him to stop-im scared about the blood. cud i hav an sti. it was my 1st time. but was his second time.

im scared

i dont know what to doo

please reply [Frown] [Confused]

[ 06-03-2008, 05:10 AM: Message edited by: Jaswinder ]

Posts: 4 | From: derby | Registered: Jun 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
September
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 25425

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If your boyfriend had anal sex with you and pressured you into performing oral sex on him, then that is rape. Talking you into sexual activities you've expressively said you are not comfortable with is beyond not okay. This guy is not safe for you to be with and you should end this relationship asap.

If your partner ejaculated during the anal sex, you may have had a pregnancy risk, as ejaculate can leak out of the anus and to the vagina. If this happened less than 120 hours ago, you can obtain EC. If it has been longer than that, you'll have to wait until you can take a pregnancy test.

Since your partner did not use a condom for the anal sex, or the oral sex, you've also had a risk for STIs. You will want to schedule an appointment to get tested right away.

What else can we do to help you? Would you like us to look into local resources for dealing with rape, sexual abuse or abusive relationships?

I would encourage you to share your experience with someone you trust - a close friend or trusted family member, to get some support. It sounds like you could really use that about now.

[ 06-03-2008, 06:31 AM: Message edited by: September ]

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Johanna
Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

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Jaswinder
Neophyte
Member # 38757

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really its classed a rape

omg

well ive ended it-but I PHONEd a help line and they said the blood cud hav been from me,as he might have teared it. but then my boyfriend texted me saying he spoke to someone saying it was his blood and it usualy happens as it was tight.

he didnt ejaculate at all...

how long does it take for an Sti test. my parents dont and wont find out about the test will they?

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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In the office, save the time you spend filling out forms and such, getting tested takes only a few minutes. You'll likely want a pelvic exam and pap smear, too, though, so add on a few.

Getting results doesn't take long either, anymore: in a lot of places, you can know your status within a week or two, at a max.

Where are you? In most places, privacy rights protect you from parent notification with sexual healthcare.

That bleeding could have been from his foreskin or your anus, particularly if he began anal entry without lubricant and while you were scared and not relaxed, which clearly seems to have been the case here, as it wasn't something you wanted.

I would consider cutting off contact with this person, by the way. Someone who forces or pressures you into sex just isn't a safe person to be around or to continue a relationship with.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Jaswinder
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Member # 38757

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ooh i feel like its al my fault. [Frown]

a week or two :S im going canada for 2 weeks on friday :S!!

im 17 and live in England-derby

he jus used baby oil and put it on me too- he did say to me it was hurting him too.

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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I don't know why it'd be your fault that someone else did something to you against your will. If I order toast in a restaurant, they bring me eggs, I say no, I don't want eggs, and they force me to eat them, it's not my fault. I went into the restaurant, sure, but that's where my own responsibility for what happened afterwards would end.

In the UK, minors health information is indeed protected as private.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Jaswinder
Neophyte
Member # 38757

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oh right ok.

i understand.

at least it is kept private, its all i need

i appreciate you replying back,
means a lot to me

thank-you x

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Happy to be of help, Jaswinder.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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nutmeg777
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Member # 38676

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Jaswinder,

I had a very similar situation several years ago. I just wanted to say that I completely agree, you must cut off contact with this person, what he has done is not okay.

After this happened to me I felt like I had no one to talk to, I couldn't sleep and I cried for days. I just wanted to let you know that you do have someone to listen, as that is all I wanted.

Sincerely,
Nutmeg

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