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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » Orgasmless

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Author Topic: Orgasmless
Member # 33179

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I have been sexually active for seven months now, and have yet to experience my first orgasm during sex. It seems as time has gone on I have lost interest in sex, and I am really starting to think it is impossible. I have tried many different positions, oral, my boyfriend has tried using his hands... I don't know what else I can do.

I have read statistics about women having a hard time achieving orgasm during sexual intercourse, but surely it isn't impossible. I do not have a very high sex drive and often I get dry and have to use a lubricant. At times it hurts because I cannot seem to get excited. I have been told to focus on the sensations themselves and to stop worrying about it, and I have done just that but it seems that everything I have tried so far has failed.

Posts: 1 | From: Michigan | Registered: Mar 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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Member # 17924

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Can you orgasm and pleasure yourself during masturbation, via a toy or your own two hands? If you can, don't give up hope quite yet [Smile]

It is true that *most* women don't get tons of pleasure from intercourse alone. The further you get into the vaginal canal, the fewer nerve endings there are: add to that lubrication issues, arousal issues, and a general lack of interest in sex, and you've got this sort of situation.

Try not to get too discouraged; there are plenty of young women in your position. If you can work things out with masturbating, take what you do there and apply it to partnered sex. See what happens.

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Posts: 3987 | From: Greater Burlington Area, Vermont | Registered: Apr 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 33148

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Another thing that could be interesting to consider is birth control methods. Some women experience loss of libido on the pill and other hormonal treatments. A change in dosage or a switch from one brand to another, might suddenly make your libido skyrocket, or could have no effect. Even if nothing changes it's always worth looking into. Otherwise it is about excitement, comfort, relaxation, and also not thinking about it, and not doubting especially. Expecting to come away without an orgasm kills it even before one has begun.

Good luck!!!

Posts: 48 | From: North of Hell South of Paradise | Registered: Mar 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Naive Melody
Member # 33216

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Have you thought of not having sex for a while, to really experiment with foreplay?

I have to say, my heart goes out to you - my bf couldn't get aroused because neither could I, so we ended it. Pretty sad. Just be glad you're with someone who perseveres. xx

Posts: 5 | From: Ox/Bris, UK | Registered: Mar 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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