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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » climax

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Author Topic: climax
Member # 28647

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So my boyfriend asked me today if the times we've had sex I've gone all the way (if I had an orgasm). However, I haven't and well, I told him the truth, I promised I would never lied about anything, plus you could tell he knew the answer. He says he doesn't know what to do and he thinks is his fault. I don't know what to do, I want to reach that level (of an orgasm) but I don't know how. Is there anything I could do or anything he could do?
Posts: 2 | From: New Jersey | Registered: May 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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Member # 25425

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If by sex you mean vaginal sex only, then know that a lot of women do not achieve orgasm from vaginal sex, so that's perfectly normal.

Do you engage in a lot of foreplay, oral sex, manual sex, etc? Do you orgasm from that?

Are you perfectly relaxed and aroused when you have sex? Tension, anxiety, etc can definitely be a cause for lack of orgasm.

Also, if you masturbate at all, you'll have a much better feel for your body and what turns you ond and what doesn't.

Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 9192 | From: Cologne, Germany | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 25983

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You can start by knowing your own body and finding what feels good for you on your own.

Check out these articles on the main site:


10 Things You Can Do For Your Sexual Self

This should give you a good start. You can apply what you learn from experimenting with your body to your relationship.

Posts: 4636 | From: USA/Northern Europe | Registered: Oct 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 17973

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Are you not able to orgasm at all or just during sex?

To be honest, without clitoral stimulation during intercourse, penetration alone probably won't produce an orgasm. Its just how us women are made. The vaginal canal doesn't have many nerve endings. Our clitoris is the only organ that was made ONLY for sexual purposes. So your best bet for achieving orgasm is to focus on that.

Sex doesn't have to be limited to just penetration. Explore other avenues of sex (oral, manual etc). Try to incorporate those things before, during, and after actual intercourse.

I know this is a big blow to your boyfriend's ego. Just try to explain that it has nothing to do with him, its just a matter of anatomy. (I've had this same conversation with my boyfriend [Smile] )
Good luck! [Smile]

Posts: 217 | From: Virginia | Registered: May 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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