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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » I need a lot of help

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Author Topic: I need a lot of help
Member # 28478

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Last week I thought I had a free house for a couple of hours as my parents were going to visit my granny so I invited my girlfriend around who I have been going steady with now for 2 weeks and one thing lead to another and my mum walked into the living room and seen my girlfriend Jade giving me a blowjob and pure freaked out and is not speaking to me yet she justs keeps giving me dirty looks and we havent spoke in 2 days. What can I do so that we can make up and start speaking again. I also very very embarrassed so I dont know what to say

My mum came back early and I had the music turned up loud so I didnt hear her come in and its just the worst thing a mother could see.

Plz help

Posts: 49 | From: Ireland | Registered: Apr 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 8067

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Okay, there's no way this isn't going to be messy.

You need to talk to her, and a good way to start would be by apologizing - let her know that you're really, really sorry this happened and feeling incredibly embarrassed.

Basically, you put your mum in a really unfair position, making her an involuntary witness to your sex life (not least by having sex in the living room, not even your bedroom), and you have to take responsibility for that.

How the conversation goes after that is going to depend on her feelings and what's concerning her most - she may just be feeling really embarrassed and offended, or she may feel strongly that she doesn't want you being sexually active in her house, or possibly at all at this age.

The more you show that you're willing to listen to and respect her concerns, and that you care about her feelings, the more likely that it is that she'll be willing to cut you some slack.

"Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world's grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it." - the Talmud

Posts: 6944 | From: UK | Registered: May 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 28478

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I am 16 and also is my girlfriend and my mum likes my girlfriend but I have never seen her so mad and everytime I try to say sorry she walks away pretends she doesnt hear me. I will take your advice but I dont think it will work. She hasnt told my dad yet if if she does I dont know what he will do because he gets mad very easy
Posts: 49 | From: Ireland | Registered: Apr 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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Member # 1679

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How about writing her a letter?

From your mom's perspective, I'm sure that what she saw was quite a shock. And for her it was likely about as embarassing as it was for you. So she's probably got a lot of emotions floating around right now and it may take her some time to sort it out as well.

So perhaps writing her a letter would be a good way for you to say what you need to say and to start to mend things without putting her in a position where she feels more embarassed. A letter might also be helpful for you because that way you can think about exactly what you are wanting to say and spend some time editing and making sure that it comes out exactly the way you want it to.

Sarah Liz

Posts: 7316 | From: USA | Registered: Oct 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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