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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » Sexual Paranoia

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Author Topic: Sexual Paranoia
shirtsandgloves
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I was reluctant to post this in Emergencies and Crises because it isn't an immediate medical emergency, but I really don't know what to do...

I've always been very, very paranoid about sex and pregnancy. I have anxiety disorder and I'm clinically depressed, blah blah, a whole slew of problems, basically... It used to be, every time I had sex I'd be paranoid I was pregnant until at least TWO periods had come and gone (I'd never had sex very frequently).

Well, now I'm on the pill, have been for 3+ months, and I'm sexually active. I have been in a monogamous relationship for a while and we have sex once or twice a week, sometimes less, very rarely more. We use condoms. We're SUPER careful and have never done anything stupid without protection. We're both very pro-sex education and are always careful.


However, I feel like that paranoia is coming back. I was on antibiotics a while ago and heard it could mess up my pill. Same thing- Condoms, safe sex, always being careful... but I feel like something has gone wrong. My period is due in two days and I don't feel like I'm having my regular symptoms, besides sore breasts (common with me) and mood swings... I'm not as bloated as I usually am, something just DOESN'T FEEL RIGHT.

I posted about this a while ago but it's just getting worse... what was my risk if I was on birth control and used condoms but was also on antibiotics?

I don't know why I'm freaking out so bad but something just. Isn't. Right... and it's keeping me from sleeping, etc... if I'm pregnant I don't know what I'll do... I don't know what I'll do anyway... but what's wrong with me that I keep freaking out? What's my risk?


Sigh. I really hate this.

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logic_grrl
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If you used condoms correctly for all genital contact, and they didn't break, slip or tear, then your risk is minimal (even if the birth control was rendered completely ineffective, which is unlikely).

I think it might be worth looking back at your past posts (just click on the "Posts: 38" at the bottom of your post here). You've posted about irrational pregnancy fears (when you've had zero or minimal risk) on a number of occasions, starting in 2004.

It seems pretty clear that this is part of your anxiety disorder (and good for you for being aware of that and not posting in "Emergencies and Crises" this time). Do you have a doctor or therapist you can talk to about this?

In the mean-time, practising relaxation techniques can help get your anxiety down to more manageable levels. Progressive relaxation, yoga, meditation, exercise, aromatherapy - they can all be good for fending off the feeling of "impending doom".

Personally, I've found it can help to remind myself how often I get the feeling of impending doom during anxiety attacks, and how none of the dooms I've imagined on past occasions have actually happened to me.

--------------------
"Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world's grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it." - the Talmud

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shirtsandgloves
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This is really the only place I can go where I feel comfortable enough to "freak out" and actually get some straight answers [Smile] I guess that's why 99% of my posts are regarding risks and freaking out...


Technically I'm supposed to get my period in two days and I just don't know... I almost want to take a pregnancy test just to be sure but even THAT freaks me out. I guess I know that seeing as I use condoms every time, I'm on the pill, and very careful, I have an extremely low risk... but there's always THAT ONE LITTLE CHANCE and it just scares the hell out of me.


I wish there was an ultimate answer. More than that, I wish there was an ultimate answer that I actually wanted to hear.

I just hope I'm ok. Two days, two days, two days. I have been getting cramps, mild ones, and my chest hurts, so I'm assuming my period is on the way... let's just hope. I don't know what I'd do otherwise.

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logic_grrl
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quote:
I guess that's why 99% of my posts are regarding risks and freaking out...
I get that, and I don't want to make you feel that you shouldn't post about these things.

But if you can work on reminding yourself that the anxiety about pregnancy is part of your anxiety disorder, not the result of a serious risk, in the long term that could help reduce the anxiety. And looking at your past posts, and past times when you've been similarly anxious, might be part of that process.

And I don't use the word "work" lightly: learning to deal with an anxiety disorder really is work, and usually it involves putting together a mental "toolkit" of strategies that you can use to cope.

That's why I asked if you have a supportive doctor or therapist who can help you with this.

--------------------
"Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world's grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it." - the Talmud

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dailicious
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I'll second that working out anxiety problems takes a lot of patience and focus and is an on-going project. I've been reasonably anxiety-free for a couple years now, but the other day on the bus I had to fight off the onset of a panic attack, randomly, but luckily I had a good enough counselor to help me learn some cognitive exercises I could really use to help. So logic_grrl's suggestion is very sound, finding the right counselor who will help you find the ways to take control of your situation does wonders.

Also, it may be worth mentioning to put ion your head to help calm you down:

You're on hormonal birth control, and because of this, remember that you no longer have real periods, but instead monthly withdrawl bleeds on the placebo or no-pill week of your cycles.

With a withdrawl bleed, women usually have far less symptoms beforehand because of the way the withdrawl bleed and the hormonal birth control itself acts. Especially if you get your periods realitivly soon off you placebo week, it is more unlikely for you to get pms-like symptoms, because while you're on the hormones, you really should not experience any at all, plus, since you've only been on the pills three months, and having taken antibiotics this month, the way your body is reacting to the different drops in hormones could just be changing what you're used to as far as symptoms and timing goes.

So just keep that in mind that because of the antibiotics you were subject to a little wonkiness as far as the withdrawl bleed goes and it may help to keep that in the back of your head as far as logical explainations to a slow-starting withdrawl bleed go [Smile]

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Jean
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shirtsandgloves
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I'm big into natural medicine and started the vitamin C megadosing method today to try and start my menses a bit early. I have 1 or 2 days left on my pill pack before the designated start of my period.


All of a sudden I feel nauseous, gassy, etc... and the pregnancy paranoia is overwhelming. Is there ANYTHING I can do to make my period start? Should I buckle down and take a test? What can I do?


I really thought my risk was low. I'm really scared.

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Heather
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Thing is, you're on the pill. Megadoses of vitamic C -- depending on what dosage you're talking about -- aren't all that good for you, actually. And since you're on the pill, those hormones will likely override what the C might do, anyway. So, there's just no need.

You should relax, seriously. At this point, there is little you can do. Your risk IS low. No one has said different: you used a condom AND you were on the pill. Even if that pill was compromised a little, if the condom did not rip, break or slip off, and was worn for all contact, you didn't have a risk at all.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
shirtsandgloves
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That's the thing-- I'm thinking back to every single sexual encounter I've had in the last month and I'm going, oh my god, what if it slipped and I didn't realize it, oh my god, what if he went soft inside me and some come came out, oh my god, what if that one time it ___________ (insert horrible thing here).


I should take a test. But if it comes back positive I just don't know what I'll do. I'm absolutely freaking out and my period isn't even late yet-- It isn't even due for TWO DAYS. I wish it would just get here...

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Heather
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Condoms don't work that way, babe.

Slipping a little does not compromise them. It is the condom BREAKING or coming off, entire, inside of you, that does. And not wearing them for all contact.

A pregnancy test is not going to come back positive for you. The issue right now here isn't pregnancy: it's your increasing paranoia. Please look at some of the other responses to that issue in this thread for you: I really think some of that could benefit you.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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