Sorry for asking a repeated boring question but.. Yah... My boyfriend thinks that since I never orgasm during sex that there is something wrong with him. I tried telling him that some women's bodies just won't let them have a spot orgasm cuz that's whut I've heard. Is this true? Or is it just that it takes a LONG time to reach it? Is there a way that I CAN actually do it? I would like to be able to.. And he would like it if I could too.
Posts: 25 | Registered: Aug 2004
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For a start, orgasms don't come in different brands - there aren't different "clitoral orgasms" and "vaginal orgasms" or "G-spot orgasms".
Secondly, for most women, any orgasm at all is going to require some clitoral stimulation.
That's why the majority of women can't reach orgasm from intercourse on its own. It's nothing wrong with you or him - just how human bodies work.
You might (or might not) enjoy G-spot stimulation, but you're likely to find that it's not enough all by itself, without some clitoral stimulation as well.
If you want to reach orgasm during intercourse, then there are some easy options - you can add in some extra stimulation by hand (your hand or his hand).
But it's a good idea to remember that orgasm isn't the "goal" of sex. You shouldn't have to feel that you "have" to have an orgasm to prove something about yourself, your partner, or your relationship.
Just an FYI: plenty of women DO orgasm during heterosexual intercourse... because their partners or they are ALSO engaging in other activities at the same time.
In other words, if you do want to reach orgasm during intercourse, and clitoral stimulation is something that tends to get you there, some manual stimulation (with hands and fingers) during intercourse, by you and/or your partner, is easily doable.
So, if he's invested in having that happen, there are things he can be doing which some other men do with their female partners during intercourse for enjoyment and orgasm.
this one is for the guys... and i guess any girl who might know the answer... but when a girl stimulates herself during sex, do guys feel like they are not doing something right or that they cant make their partner cum?
Posts: 6 | Registered: Jul 2004
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Some guys might feel that way, others might not. That's one of those questions where there really is no "right" answer, especially because there are far too many people out in the world, and any answer would more than likely be a generalization.
It's more important to address that there is no "right" or "wrong" way to have sex, such as Logic and Heather have mentioned both in this thread and several times before. And, really, there's far too much tied up with the whole "making the girl cum" idea, anyway. An orgasm isn't a requisite for sex, and sex can surely be enjoyed without one. IMHO, that's the more important idea to get across, really, rather than perpetuating this notion that you're sexually inept if you can't cause a woman to orgasm just by intercourse, especially when a great many women out there can't acheive an orgasm without direct clitorial stimulation.
(edited to finish a train of thought I accidentally derailed.)
------------------ Tim, as in "Donate" Scarleteen Advocate
to answer daisy, I would have to say that it's a bit of a loaded answer. (see a post I just did about a minute ago about this topic). I have so far never been able to give my girlfriend an orgasm no matter what I've tried. I've asked her if perhaps I could assist in her masturbating, if that's what she needed in order to cum, but she's declined. Ultimately, when I think about it, I really just want her to experience an orgasm, and however she needs to do that is fine by me, but I confess I would feel rather...inadequate...if she could only cum by stimulating herself. So in a nutshell, I guess it CAN hurt a guy's feelings if a girl has to "do it" herself.
Posts: 6 | From: MA, USA | Registered: Feb 2004
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