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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » staying relaxed

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Author Topic: staying relaxed
Member # 18064

Icon 1 posted      Profile for spartacus_007     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I had sex for the first time last weekend, and although the foreplay was great, I had a LOT of trouble maintaining an erection during intercourse. As in the very first try was about 30 seconds long and after that 5 seconds was great work. I remembered reading on this site that it is a common problem, so even though I was disappointed and frustrated, it wasn't as bad as it could have been. My partner was very understanding and patient.

We've talked a lot about it since then, and I've read over the First Intercourse article on this site. We're going to not focus on intercourse really, just continue doing the other things we like. We did have trouble finding a position, so we might try that tantric one mentioned. I still haven't been into it as much since then, but I do want to give it another shot. The problem is I get tense even just thinking about it. Does anyone have any other suggestions on how to relax?

Posts: 5 | Registered: May 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 1386

Icon 10 posted      Profile for Bobolink         Edit/Delete Post 
Sometimes you just have to go with the flow on this. Performance anxiety is one of the main reasons for not being able to sustain an erection. There is also a phenomena known as "spectatoring" in which you become so concerned with your own body's reactions that you subtly forget why you are there in the first place.

You may wish to read this:

ED: Why you don't have to get so down about not getting it up

We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.

- Albert Einstein

Posts: 3442 | From: Stirling, Ontario, Canada | Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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