I had sex for the first time last weekend, and although the foreplay was great, I had a LOT of trouble maintaining an erection during intercourse. As in the very first try was about 30 seconds long and after that 5 seconds was great work. I remembered reading on this site that it is a common problem, so even though I was disappointed and frustrated, it wasn't as bad as it could have been. My partner was very understanding and patient.
We've talked a lot about it since then, and I've read over the First Intercourse article on this site. We're going to not focus on intercourse really, just continue doing the other things we like. We did have trouble finding a position, so we might try that tantric one mentioned. I still haven't been into it as much since then, but I do want to give it another shot. The problem is I get tense even just thinking about it. Does anyone have any other suggestions on how to relax?
Sometimes you just have to go with the flow on this. Performance anxiety is one of the main reasons for not being able to sustain an erection. There is also a phenomena known as "spectatoring" in which you become so concerned with your own body's reactions that you subtly forget why you are there in the first place.
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