everytime me and my boyfriend try to have sex it just dosent work...like it wont fit or something, and it is really starting to upset me emotionally because i really want to have sex with him. i was wondering if anyone has any ideas?
Posts: 15 | From: athens,alabama,usa | Registered: Jun 2002
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I've been looking around the boards, and generally, a problem like yours can be solved with a little lube and a lot of patience.
Before your boyfriend puts on his condom, put a few drops of water-based lube in the tip. And have plenty of lube on the outside. Wet is good. Dry is bad. Also, try not to be nervous. And if you are terribly nervous, maybe your body's trying to tell you something. Maybe you're not quite ready for sex.
But if you really are ready, talk to your boyfriend and tell him to go slow. The first few times I had sex I felt a great amount of pain as my partner's penis was entering me. But once you get going, the pain should subside, and it's up up and up from there! Just be patient. You may wince a bit, but it should get better.
If it doesn't get better, and it still hurts, maybe you should make an appointment with a gynecologist. They might be able to figure out what's going on.
And remember, even if you can't have *intercourse* right now, you can still have *sex* .
There's a lot more to sex than just intercourse, so there are plenty of things that you and your boyfriend can do together even if intercourse isn't working too well right now. Treating intercourse as if it was the only "real sex" creates a lot of pressure, and as you say it's already upsetting you emotionally.
If you take away the pressure, you'll not only reduce the stress and have fun, but you're likely to have better intercourse when you get around to it because you'll be more relaxed, familiar with each other's bodies, and able to go with the flow, instead of worrying about whether it'll "work" or not.
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