Donate Now
We've Moved! Check out our new boards.
  New Poll  
my profile | directory login | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » I cant have sex??!!

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: I cant have sex??!!
Member # 8513

Icon 1 posted      Profile for jess32     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
everytime me and my boyfriend try to have sex it just dosent it wont fit or something, and it is really starting to upset me emotionally because i really want to have sex with him. i was wondering if anyone has any ideas?
Posts: 15 | From: athens,alabama,usa | Registered: Jun 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Miss Thang
Member # 5508

Icon 10 posted      Profile for Miss Thang     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I've been looking around the boards, and generally, a problem like yours can be solved with a little lube and a lot of patience.

Before your boyfriend puts on his condom, put a few drops of water-based lube in the tip. And have plenty of lube on the outside. Wet is good. Dry is bad. Also, try not to be nervous. And if you are terribly nervous, maybe your body's trying to tell you something. Maybe you're not quite ready for sex.

But if you really are ready, talk to your boyfriend and tell him to go slow. The first few times I had sex I felt a great amount of pain as my partner's penis was entering me. But once you get going, the pain should subside, and it's up up and up from there! Just be patient. You may wince a bit, but it should get better.

If it doesn't get better, and it still hurts, maybe you should make an appointment with a gynecologist. They might be able to figure out what's going on.

Good luck. And lube it up! Lube is good!

Posts: 211 | From: Chicago, IL | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 1207

Icon 1 posted      Profile for LilBlueSmurf     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Excellent advice by Miss Thang

Also, you may want to read a few articles here.

Ready or Not?

First Intercourse 101

Safe Sex Primer


Posts: 7168 | From: Ontario | Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 8067

Icon 1 posted      Profile for logic_grrl     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
And remember, even if you can't have *intercourse* right now, you can still have *sex* .

There's a lot more to sex than just intercourse, so there are plenty of things that you and your boyfriend can do together even if intercourse isn't working too well right now. Treating intercourse as if it was the only "real sex" creates a lot of pressure, and as you say it's already upsetting you emotionally.

If you take away the pressure, you'll not only reduce the stress and have fun, but you're likely to have better intercourse when you get around to it because you'll be more relaxed, familiar with each other's bodies, and able to go with the flow, instead of worrying about whether it'll "work" or not.

Posts: 6944 | From: UK | Registered: May 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

  New Poll   Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:

Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3