Donate Now
We've Moved! Check out our new boards.
  New Poll  
my profile | directory login | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » getting her to take initiative

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: getting her to take initiative
Member # 8364

Icon 5 posted      Profile for freebird     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
hey, it seems that whenever my girlfriend and i start to kiss and fool around, i am the one to intiate all the action. This is not to say that she doesn't want to do that stuff too, its just I feel like i am the one to always be doing the rubbing, the feeling, the kissing of her neck and other places.
So how do i get her to take charge and be the one to feel around my body, kiss on my body, take off my clothes? I am afraid of suggesting oral sex on me b/c i don't wanna seem pushy or like too much of a slimeball, i really like this girl. Any help?

Posts: 1 | Registered: May 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 8317

Icon 7 posted      Profile for West1001     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Hey freebird,
Well I was in this sorta situation before...I'm the girl in the situation though. I used to feel uncomfortable kissing, touching, and taking off my boyfriends clothes, especially before he did it to me. I felt that maybe he would think that's all I wanted to do, or maybe that he'd think I was going too fast, and didn't like it. In other words, I was nervous. How long have you and her been going out for? Cause your chances are she's just really nervous to take such initiative. If it bugs you all that much, then you should tell her how you feel...or when in the time and place, tell her what makes you feel good, and she should get the hint.

Posts: 99 | From: Vancouver, BC, CANADA | Registered: May 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 1207

Icon 1 posted      Profile for LilBlueSmurf     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
It's REALLY important that you talk about this sort of stuff w/ your partner ... and by the sound of your post, i'm guessing you haven't yet.

You really need to sit her down and tell her what you just told us; that you'd like her to feel more comfortable and feel free to explore your body like you do hers ... and do'nt forget to ask her what you could do to make her feel more comfortable. She may just be happy doing things her own way, and you really need to respect that too. The key is to be open, here.

If she's willing to try your suggestions, just go w/ that. If she's not comfortable doing more than she is now, she may not be as open to trying oral sex. Again, you need to be respectful of her wishes. There are ways of bringing up this subject other than those cheesy movie lines (was it American Pie?) ...

Posts: 7168 | From: Ontario | Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

  New Poll   Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:

Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3