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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » fisting

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Author Topic: fisting
sugar'n'spice
Neophyte
Member # 7353

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Does nayone have advice on how to make this more comfortable? I'm trying with my bf tomorrow and I'm kinda scared. I know you use lots of lube, but what if it hurts?
Posts: 21 | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
soldier76:96
Activist
Member # 6511

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If YOU are unconfortable with the sex act, tell your boyFRIEND YOU don't want to do it!
Talk to your boyFRIEND & ask why he wants to do fisting? Notice I capitalized FRIEND. A true friend would not force/want you to do something that might hurt YOU.
Practice Safer Sex

Posts: 113 | From: Puyallup, WA, USA | Registered: Jan 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
debby_h
Neophyte
Member # 8003

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I agree. If you're scared about fisting, this may not be something to do. Anxiety is going to tighten your muscles and make it even more physically uncomfortable if you're scared. Talk with your boyfriend. He should respect your feelings and wishes about what you choose to do (or not do) with your body.

If you do decide to try it, please talk with your boyfriend ahead of time and let him know that when you say stop, he needs to stop. That if you say "stop" you are not being funny, you are probably hurting. Sometimes couples even work out a "code word" for when they want to stop a sexual activity. It's usually something totally non-sexual like "tomato" or "evergreen" or whatever else so that it cannot be confused with anything else. It is a clear sign to stop to your sexual partner. If you want to try this but are still feeling scared, I would recommend having a big talk ahead of time with your boyfriend. He needs to respect your wishes.

Good luck!
Debby


Posts: 21 | From: Bloomington, IN USA | Registered: Apr 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Just another note: when you're trying a new sexual practice, be sure to read up from reliable sources ahead of time. For instance, your library may carry a copy of The Good Vibrations Guide to Sex which has some basic information on fisting.

We cannot give technique advice here, but it is safe to say that if either of you are going into this thinking that fisting means your partner makes a fist and tries to insert it, then you don't have enough information.

Lastly, when you do have the information, and then should you want to try iit, please be sure and use latex gloves. Not only does that help protect you from infection, it helps protect you from abrasions or scratches.

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Heather Corinna
Editor and Founder, Scarleteen

My epitaph should read: "She worked herself into this ground."
-- Kay Bailey Hutchinson


Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
sugar'n'spice
Neophyte
Member # 7353

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Thanks you guys. I know how to do it and everything and I really want to, he's more reluctant than I am! I'm just nervous.
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Gumdrop Girl
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 568

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whoo. if you're nervous, you might want to meditate or drink some chamomile tea first 'cause this is something you should only do when perfectly relaxed.

so, relax, lube up and get the rubber gloves ('cause it is extremely easy to get scratched and torn while fisting). it can be done, and can be quite enjoyable, so don't let me scare you.

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oh, don't even po-mo me, baby...


Posts: 12677 | From: Los Angeles, CA ... somewhere off the 10 | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
PoetgirlNY
Activist
Member # 168

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Also, keep in mind that you don't get a prize for having an entire hand inside you. If you try not to be too goal-orientated, and try to just do what feels good, it is likely to work out better in the end. If you start out, and after four fingers you don't really want any more, you haven't failed. If everyone is having fun, it doesn't matter whether or not you've actually managed fisting.

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Limes Are Sublime


Posts: 1101 | From: San Francisco | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
lemming
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 33

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quote:
Originally posted by PoetgirlNY:
Also, keep in mind that you don't get a prize for having an entire hand inside you...

Awww. I guess that means I should stop checking the mail obsessively, waiting for my Golden Fist Award to arrive.

You're so funny, Yalith. ;]


Posts: 3156 | From: Austin, Texas | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Chelle
Activist
Member # 7396

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My boyfriend and I fist on a regular basis. Trust me, getting it right off the bat is rare! It did hurt at first and it takes a lot of patience, a lot of lubrication, and some latex gloves. We tried on 5 different occasions before it happened. If at any point you're uncomfterable, STOP! And like everyone else says, if you feel uncomfterable, then don't! You don't owe him any sexual act YOU don't want!
Posts: 60 | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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