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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » Daddys little girl is having sex

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Author Topic: Daddys little girl is having sex
Smileygirl
Neophyte
Member # 327

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Ok.. i just resently got put on the pill.. why?? because i am sexually active and i had a pregnacy scare earlier this summer with the guy i lost my virginity to. My mother knows about me having sex.. but my dad doesnt. oh yeah.... i also live with my dad and not with my mom. a while back.. my father told me that if i wanted to have sex.. that was my decision.. he just wanted me to be safe. well, if he finds out about me being on the pill, cant i just use his own words against him?? I mean.. he will be upset. but as long as i am using protection and on the pill.. he shouldnt have such a cow should he??
~*Smiley*~

Posts: 16 | From: Texas, USA | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
HotGrrl99
Activist
Member # 105

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Dads can be annoying about this issue, but if you level with them it's usually not that bad. My dad cooled off about it when I told him straight out that I was having sex but I always was using birth controls and condoms. It's better to be honest about it than to lie, because if he finds out on his own he could really be mad, and might even ground you for months!!
Posts: 384 | From: Malibu, California, USA | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Beppie
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I think that if your father said that to you, then he will most likely hold to it and respect your decision, so long as you are doing it safely. If he finds out (or you tell him) and he is a bit upset, then I think it's certainly reasonable to calmly remind your father that he told you it was your decision, and to assure him that you're doing it safely.

And, are you using condoms as well as the pill, so you're protected from STDs as well?


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troublemaka
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Member # 543

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You need to tell him strait out. like he said it was and is ur choice. besides parents a spossed to be helpful...right?
Posts: 92 | From: Somewere over the rainbow | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
XoRoseXo
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I havent told my parents that I am having sex...B/c I know if they even would find out they would be so mad at me...My sister got pregnant when she was 16 years old and that really hurt my mom and dad bad and if they knew I was having sex they would probably not let me be with my b/f alone ever again and i dont want that to happen...Im on the pill and i also use condoms im very protective after what happend to my sister but what im really trying to say is should i keep it a secret or tell them??
Posts: 59 | From: indian trail | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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Let me say this much: in hindsight, and after talking to my parents now that I'm long grown, I can count on one hand the secrets I actually managed to keep from both of them, none of which were about anything important.

In other words, unless you're an actor worthy of an Oscar, most parents who haven't been told by their kids that they are sexually active have a pretty good idea already. It's not that hard to figure out, especially when you're an adult.

So, would you rather your parents know you're lying to them, or be honest? me, I'd rather be honest, and besides, considering your parents are responsible for you and your health, unless your health is literally in jeapordy by telling them (if they'll beat or harm you in some way) it only seems fair to them TO tell them.

And one of the things about being really ready for sex anyway is being ready to be honest and mature, and in my book, telling the truth is a big part of that.

Let me add this: when I was in my teens and sexually active it was NOT okay with my mother, and I did, in fact, get hurt regularly by my stepfather in part because of it. But the way it ended up working out was that I was allowed to do what I wanted given certain conditions, some of which were reeasonable, some of which were unreasonable, and I ended up leaving home. Now, there is obviously a far longer story here of which my sexual life was only a part, but I think a lot of epople don't often realize how very6 many things parents do to contribute to your being able to BE sexually active.

Once I had to get jobs in addition to school, pay for my own health care and birth control and the whole nine yards, lemme tell you, even having the time to have sex was incredibly difficult.

So, to wind down an overly long post, the gig is that we really owe anyone who is respecting us the same respect. if they aren't affording us care and respect, it's clearly a different ball game, but MOST of the parents of the posters here seem like pretty excellent folks.


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HotGrrl99
Activist
Member # 105

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I agree. Definitely tell your parents! They can be much more reasonable than you think. Plus like Miz S. said, they will probably figure it out sooner or later, so why not level with them so that their trust in you being honest with them is not totally destroyed?
Posts: 384 | From: Malibu, California, USA | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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