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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » EXPERT ADVICE » Emergencies and Crises » Scared out of my mind!!!

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Author Topic: Scared out of my mind!!!
MirrorMask11
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Member # 109386

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Hey Scarleteen,
So I have had the most horrible week. So my bf and I are so paranoid about pregnancy that we keep early response pregnancy test. He asked me to take one two weeks before my placebo week. And it came out positive. Since then I have taken five more test and they all came out negative. The weird thing is the positive one was taken in the middle of the day while the last five were taken in the morning. We had no condom breaks or anything before this.. I am freaking out and so is he! I went to the health center and they said not to worry. Please help! Should I be worried...

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Redskies
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Okay. Did the health center do a test for you?

Is there a specific incident where you think you had a pregnancy risk, and how long ago was it?

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The kyriarchy usually assumes that I am the kind of woman of whom it would approve. I have a peculiar kind of fun showing it just how much I am not.

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MirrorMask11
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The Health center told me because I hadn't missed my period that my insurance wouldn't cover it and the nurse said what they used was just the clear blue test. She told me to go get one instead. Which I did and it came out negative. The sad thing is we haven't had anything really happen. No condom breaks or unprotected anything. We are so phobic we even bleach the bathroom and get new sheets after. Sad I know but we had a bad scare last year when I went on depo. I am on the pill now.. I'm just scared.
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Sam W
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Hi mirrormask,

I would trust the six negative results. And, am I correct in that you have gotten your period since the incident you were worried about (I am going off of what the health center told you)

If being sexual at this level is causing both you and your partner so much stress, it might be a good idea to dial down the degree of sexual activity you are engaging in.

[ 01-23-2014, 11:08 AM: Message edited by: Sam W ]

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MirrorMask11
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and the test was the advanced digital. It is supposed to test up to two weeks before your missed period. I still am not on my placebo week yet
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MirrorMask11
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Thank you! that is what we are trying to do.
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Sam W
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You're welcome

[ 01-23-2014, 11:20 AM: Message edited by: Sam W ]

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Redskies
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Do you need any help figuring out how to dial the sexual things back? What agreements have you and your boyfriend made about that, and how has it been working out?

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The kyriarchy usually assumes that I am the kind of woman of whom it would approve. I have a peculiar kind of fun showing it just how much I am not.

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MirrorMask11
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I would love some help with that! it has been very hard on both of us to tell you the truth. We had made the agreement that we wouldn't have sex until he and I could both handle the consequences if they arise. I live on my own and have two roommates and he still lives at home. (we both just started college) So far if we spend the night together its at his parents house (this limits us wanting to do anything), also we try not to spend to much time alone with nothing to do. We have started double dating with couples to try and limit the time we could be tempted. It has worked well so far. Its just not easy to stay busy all the time. Any suggestions would be wonderful!!!!!!!!
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Robin Lee
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It sounds like you're both in agreement, which means you're able to support each other with this. That's pretty awesome.

are you two aiming towards not engaging in any sexual activities whatsoever, or limiting your sexual activities to things like kissing, cuddling, or whatever else you're comfortable with? I ask because sometimes it can be tough to resist something if we feel like we're having to resist everything, or if we're feeling physically or emotionally deprived. Do you two still feel like you're able to be close to each other in ways that make you connected?

You might also find the suggestions in this article helpful:


Whoa, There! How to Slow Down When You're Moving Too Fast

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Robin

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MirrorMask11
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We are limiting it to kissing, cuddles, and hugs. We don't want to have intercourse yet. I feel ok with it being just that but it's very hard for him to make the adjustment and is trying dry hard. I honestly don't know how to help him. Thank you so much for your help [Smile]
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Sam W
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You're welcome

It's great that you two have been finding ways to maintain both intimacy and your boundaries. I think the best thing you can do for your boyfriend is to keep up the open and explicit communication around your comfort levels. And, if you haven't shown it to him, he may also find the article robin provided helpful.

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