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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » EXPERT ADVICE » Emergencies and Crises » HIV/ STI Scare

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Author Topic: HIV/ STI Scare
Julie_Tuesday
Neophyte
Member # 108528

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Hey everyone. So my boyfriend and I have just recently begun having unprotected sex. We have put all the appropriate work into avoiding pregnancy, and are in a committed relationship. We are both grown adults by the way, which is something I'd like make clear to avoid any assumptions seeing as this is more a website for younger girls. Anyway, we have began having sex without a condom and everything seemed fine. Due to a major health scare about a year and a half ago, my boyfriend got several tests and bloodwork done. While doing these, he tested negative for all stds, stis, and HIV. This made me feel very safe having unprotected sex with him, knowing there total was proof in his file cabinet for him being 100% clean.


But here's where it gets tricky.

Before we began dating, and after he was tested, he had unprotected sex with 3 girls. One was an ex girlfriend who he briefly dated again but then broke up. One was a close friend who he trusted. My main concern is the third girl, who while he insists was clean I still don't know and can't trust.
It has been 8 months since he has had unprotected sex. We've been dating for several months now and he has not had sex with anyone but me and has not had any type of unprotected sex until recently.
I trust him, and I know he would never do anything to hurt me that way (like not disclosing any health issues), but after doing some research i've learned that HIV can take up to 10-20 years to become visible.
My boyfriend has not had unprotected sex in a little over 8 months. He has not been sick at all in these 8 months, aside from some slight seasonal allergies. He is incredibly healthy and in good shape. We have only had unprotected sex twice while NO fluids were released. We had unprotected sex once very briefly where he did not ejaculate at all (we realized we should stop until we were more comfortable with unprotected sex). He pre came in a very small amount before he put himself in me, during oral, and did not ejaculate at all. Pulled out, and put his pants back on. Nothing. The second time, he pre came long before, and we put on a condom. The condom seemed to be expired or just horrible. It was a trojan (we don't use them because the latex irritates me much more than our usual durex brand) and the pre lubricated lube smelled foul and was soaking in it. We used it until we decided to just go without one since change of pregnancy was incredibly slim. He pulled out about 2 seconds before ejactulation. I saw him pull out, feel around a couple seconds go by, and he shot far away from my vagina.

So I was wondering, am I at a high risk if he has anything? Practically no fluids have ever been exchanged vaginally, we have only had unprotected sex twice (I am aware it only takes one time, I'm referring to my circumstances).


Thank you so much.

Posts: 2 | From: California | Registered: Sep 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Onionpie
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 41699

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Hi Julie_Tuesday, welcome to Scarleteen! We actually prefer users to use the terms "clear" or "negative" when referring to STI status, because "clean" implies that there is something "dirty" about having an STI. Just a note for future reference [Smile]

Although HIV takes years to become visible, tests will have accurate results around 3 months after exposure. Really, before people start having unprotected sex, we recommend that you BOTH get testing done, then six months of sex with a barrier, and then you BOTH get tested again after those six months are up. If after that, you both tested negative for any STIs in BOTH tests, then ditching condoms is a much safer route than it would be otherwise.

Since it sounds like your boyfriend is the only one who got tested, and he got tested over a year ago and has had unprotected sex since (let me know if any of that is wrong), there still is some risk of STIs being present that neither of you were aware of. So I'd suggest that you both go and get STI testing before continuing to have unprotected intercourse, to ensure you're STI-free.

Also, I want to make sure you're aware that whether your boyfriend was visibly sick at all -- or if he hasn't shown any symptoms of STIs -- is NOT a reliable indication of any STI, including HIV as you mentioned that can take years to show signs. But for STIs other than HIV, it's also very common for people to be asymptomatic. So the only way to know if anyone is free of STIs is for them to have been recently tested.

Posts: 1311 | From: Ontario, Canada | Registered: Dec 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Julie_Tuesday
Neophyte
Member # 108528

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Hi, thank you. I am actually getting tested with my boyfriend the day after tomorrow. I have never had unprotected sex before this month. The reason I brought up the probability of him being clear is because practically everywhere I've read has stated that acute symptoms begin 2-4 weeks after exposure and the individual becomes very sick. Then, after a bad flu-like illness, it goes away and there can be no further signs of HIV. My boyfriend has been in great health since the last time he had unprotected sex. I have also heard there is a long but effective way to kill all the antibodies if HIV is detected early involving lengthy antibiotic treatment. Thank you again.
Posts: 2 | From: California | Registered: Sep 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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