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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » EXPERT ADVICE » Emergencies and Crises » Pregnancy scare - fooling around with my boyfriend?

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Author Topic: Pregnancy scare - fooling around with my boyfriend?
Whoopslala
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Hi! I'm going to go into as much detail as I can (remember) because I'm really terrified of the possibility of being pregnant.

Today, my boyfriend and I were fooling around. It started off with me giving him a bj, and he cum-ed on his hand. He did wash his hand with soap, but then used the same hand to clean his tool after that with clear water and dried (both his tool and his hand) with tissue. After a while (half an hour or so) he rubbed me directly on my clit and touched my wet area outside my vagina? (but there was no penetration of his finger) with his hands (I have no idea which).

Later I was dry-humping him (while I was in my underwear, which was really thin and wet, and I forgot whether he was wearing his underwear, most likely not) There was pre-cum on him and I'm really afraid there's an exchange of body fluid here that may lead to pregnancy, because my underwear really was very thin, and very very wet. I was rubbing directly at the vagina area through the underwear.

I know with pre-cum it's virtually impossible (or at least that's what I read from hours of googling) and have already read "Can I Get Pregnant, or Get or Pass On an STI From That?", but I'm still really really really scared, because according to that article it says "No risk, unless only one partner is wearing a very thin garment that allows for some direct genital contact, like a thong, or there is accidental fluid contact. In those cases, there may be low risk." Is my case considered accidental fluid contact?

According to my menstrual cycle app (M. Calendar) today is the last day I'm ovulating, but my periods have always been irregular (can be up to a week late), and I'm about a week and a half away from my predicted period. I really am terrified.

I will appreciate it if anyone or the admin can answer my question, or at least tell me for sure that there is very very very low risk of pregnancy. I have a major exam coming up in 2 weeks and I'm afraid this will affect my ability to focus.

Thank you so much for reading, and I look forward to receiving a reply!

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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Hey there. [Smile]

Can you please start by having a look at this? Can I Get Pregnant, or Get or Pass On an STI From That? You'll want to look at the listings for manual sex and then for dry humping, clothed if you were wearing an undergarment.

(Also, please know that if your app doesn't ask you for daily cervical mucus or basal temperature, it really can't tell you anything accurate about when you may be ovulating.)

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Whoopslala
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Hi Heather!

As I said in my post, I've already looked at it, but will just like to have a clearer understanding of whether my situation is considered "accidental fluid contact" and whether there is chance of pregnancy.

Thank you!

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Heather
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We factor in for possible fluids in those assessments. So, what you see per the risk -- or, in this case, the lack thereof -- is what risk there is.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Whoopslala
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I'm sorry, I'm afraid I don't really get what you mean ><
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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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No trouble. What I mean is that with activities where there can be, or most certainly will be, fluids, we have accounted that into what risk is posed.

So, when you read, for instance, the risk listing for dry humping, we figure there may be fluids coming from at least one person's body. But with this activity, those fluids are NOT going to be able to be shared the way they need to be to create a realistic risk of pregnancy, which is why we do not list this as an activity with a realistic pregnancy risk.

Make sense?

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Whoopslala
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Yes! Meaning there is almost no risk (or none at all) that I can be pregnant. Thank you so much for your patience and understanding Heather, I really really do appreciate it [Smile]
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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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Exactly. [Smile]

But it does sound like, obviously, you don't feel comfortable with this, so want some help figuring out what sexual activities you really are and aren't okay with, or what you'd need with these activities to feel okay about them, not scared?

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Whoopslala
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I will love to! Though I think after today, my boyfriend and I won't be doing anything funny. XD
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Whoopslala
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I will love to! Though I think after today, my boyfriend and I won't be doing anything funny. XD
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Robin Lee
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Hi Whoopslala,

have you and your boyfriend discussed which sexual activities you're both comfortable with and which ones one or both of you isn't comfortable with?


These are the activities that have no pregnancy risk attached to them:

NO Pregnancy Risks

This doesn't mean that you will or should feel comfortable with those activities. Looking at that list, which activities do you feel like you'd be comfortable with? Which activities wouldn't make you afraid?

Do you feel comfortable telling your boyfriend that these are the activities you're most comfortable with and other activities just aren't okay for you right now?

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Robin

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Whoopslala
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Hi Robin!

We have discussed, which is no sexual intercourse, and I don't let him eat me out. However, from now on, we won't go beyond kissing and hugging.

Thank you both (Robin and Heather) for being so prompt in your replies and your kindness in helping me! Though I am still extremely paranoid that I can be pregnant, there are many people telling me that what my boyfriend and I had done are highly unlikely to cause pregnancy. Now it is just me overcoming my paranoia and calming down to focus on my exams. I hate to think of the repercussions of being pregnant, especially coming from an Asian family with extremely protective and traditional parents.

Once again, thank you for helping me!

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Robin Lee
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You're very welcome.

You might find some of the ideas for taking care of yourself listed in this article can help you relax and focus on your exams.

http://www.scarleteen.com/article/crisis/selfcare_a_la_carte

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Robin

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Whoopslala
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Hi Heather and Robin! It's been a week since I posted, and I've been experiencing breast tenderness, constipation and dull cramping in my lower abdomen. The tenderness and constipation are usual signs before my period, but my period isn't here yet, and together with the constant dull cramping, I'm starting to become a little worried. My abdomen is a little hard when I press down, and hurts a little more when I press at where I think my ovaries are. Should I visit a doctor for a test? Or should I be a little more patient for my period to come because it could be delayed due to stressing over this and exams? Thank you so much, hope you will reply soon!
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Robin Lee
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Hi Whoopslala,

Don't forget that your digestive organs are also in your abdomen, as well as your ovaries and uterus. So, since you're experiencing constipation, it wouldn't be surprising if that cramping was related to the constipation.

Our answer about whether or not you've had a pregnancy risk isn't going to change here. [Smile] if visiting the doctor would make you feel better, you certainly can do that. You haven't described anything here that sounds overly unusual for you.

stress can certainly delay a period. Do your periods usually come after the same number of days each time, or does it vary?

--------------------
Robin

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Whoopslala
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Hi Robin!

My periods usually vary quite a bit, sometimes delaying by a week or more than that, so I guess I'll wait another week till my exams are over before I'll go to a doctor if my period still does not come. [Frown] but thank you so much for your quick reply!

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Robin Lee
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If your periods vary that much, it may be that your period isn't even late.

You're welcome!

Good luck with the exams. :

--------------------
Robin

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Whoopslala
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Hi Heather and Robin,

My period came last night, so thank you so much for answering my questions! Just one last thing, do you have any suggestions or advice to deal with period cramps? Mine usually lasts for the first two or three days and they hurts so much my back hurts and I feel weak in my legs [Frown]

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Robin Lee
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You're very welcome.

For the cramps, take a look at the suggestions in this link. Hope you feel better soon!

http://www.scarleteen.com/article/pink/stamp_out_cramps_without_the_pill

--------------------
Robin

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Whoopslala
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Alright! Thank you both so much!! [Smile]
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