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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » EXPERT ADVICE » Emergencies and Crises » Help please!!

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Author Topic: Help please!!
Acer123
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Member # 108355

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Hello and may I say quickly thank you so much for taking the time to look at my issue and helping me. It means so much. Okay so here is my problem. A few days ago my gf and I wanted to experiment how it felt for each other with sex. So I penetrated her and thats all. There was not alot of moving. I thrusted into her about 4 times and then pulled out because I was worried about not being able to stop. It wasn't for a long time either. This is without protection for the record. I didn't ejaculate either. I am worried about pre cum. I urinated multiple times before we did anything. Im scared about the possibility of pregnancy. Please help
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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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Welcome to the boards, Acer.

So, as I understand it, you engaged in intercourse only using the withdrawal method, which you used perfectly (withdrawing well before ejaculation, and in your case, without it). Do I have that right?

If so, you can take a look at this page which explains that method and how effective it is estimated to be: Withdrawal

STI-wise, withdrawal, however, offers no protection whatsoever, so you and yours will want to address that with testing and a discussion of those risks. As well, withdrawal is one of the two least effective methods of preventing pregnancy, so if a pregnancy is very much not something one or both of you wants or feels ready for, I'd say it's clearly time to talk about your options with contraception, as well as about safer sex.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Acer123
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Yes you have that correct. I did not ejaculate at all. What should our next step be? Her period is soon so should we just wait for that or get a home pregnancy kit or get a pregnancy test? Whats the best option?
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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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HPTs are most likely to be accurate after a missed period. So, I'd advise waiting until her period is actually late, if it winds up even being late at all.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Acer123
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Okay thank you. I also did tell her that I was worried about it and now she is concerned. Could stress and nervousness cause a late period? If it is late what is our next step?
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Heather
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Is her period actually late yet? Doesn't sound like it.

Again, I'd say your next steps are:
a) Waiting to see what happens, and then she can take a pregnancy test if she is late,
b) planning to get STI tests done in the next month or two, for both of you, and
c) Talking about more reliable, effective methods of contraception -- and safer sex -- for the future.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Acer123
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No her period isn't late yet. But okay we will follow your steps. And we will defiantly be more safe now. Thank you for all your help. Its greatly appreciated!!
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Heather
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You're welcome. [Smile]

Did you want to talk about your other options when it comes to birth control, and how to practice safer sex?

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Acer123
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Well when the time comes she will be on birth control and I will be using a condom. Is that our 2 best options other than just not having sex?
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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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If you both feel good/okay about being sexual together, then by all means, the best way to still engage in intercourse but prevent pregnancy most effectively is combining two methods of effective birth control like, for instance, the birth control pill and condoms, or the IUD and condoms.

Using condoms also is how you get effective protection from STIs, especially when combined with both partners getting regularly tested.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Acer123
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Okay thank you ma'am we will make sure to stay safe from now on.
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Acer123
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Oh one more quick question for you. Is it possible for a man to not pre cum? (Pardon my use of language)
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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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If someone with a penis is able to ejaculate, then they're going to pre-ejaculate, too. That's part of the whole process.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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