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Author Topic: Please respond asap.
Goldenrush
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Member # 108128

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Hello! So I don't know if any of you remember me, but I am still going through a pregnancy scare. So I don't have to rant, let me just say the main points of my lingering fears. So two weeks ago, my boyfriend and I had sex. We used condoms and as far as we know, it never broke, it slipped a little, but NEVER did it slip all the way off and I don't think it slipped when he pulled out, but I can't be sure, trying not to be too not picky about the situation.

Anyway, 8 days after we had sex, I had a little bit of bloody discharge (sorry for too much information but I feel details are important) like it was very faint, I hadn't told my parents about any of this at that point in time, because I was so afraid of what they would say, I thought they might kick me out of my house or something, and I wouldn't survive without my parents [Frown] but when I saw that bloody discharge I freaked out, like I literally felt like my whole world was shattering and my life was over. I've heard of implantation bleeding, could that have been what that was? I had sex on the 6th say of my period and my cycles lately have been 30 days, and I know implantation happens AFTER ovulation, and that's it's really rare, but is there a chance that could have been implantation bleeding? I've read all of your articles on condoms and stuff, and like I said our condom never broke, at least not that we ever saw or felt, so me being pregnant doesn't seem very likely. Also, while that bleeding happened, I was suffering from MASSIVE anxiety about this whole ordeal, it was so bad that I felt like I was going to lose my mind. I felt so guilty and so scared that I finally cracked and told my parents, and they took it so well! I was so grateful to have such wonderful and caring parents! They weren't mad at all, disappointed yes, but they never yelled at me, my dad told me what I would do if I were pregnant, a choice that was originally my idea, I'm not in any position to be having children at the moment.

Anyway, I have taken three pregnancy test since then, I took two yesterday. One was digital and clearly read not pregnant in maybe a minute or a little less. But when I took the one that you urinate on, I swear that I could see a very faint, almost nonexistent plus sign there. I showed it to my mom (she's a mother of three so I assumed that she would know what to look for) and she said that she couldn't see anything but a negative sign. For a second opinion, I showed it to my dad and he also said that he couldn't see anything. I assume my parents know what they are talking about? Should I trust them? They don't want me taking any more tests until I miss my period (due in about 11 days) I don't really have any symptoms of pregnancy, my breasts aren't sore or anything. I was having a lot of stomach issues when I was so worried, which was also around the time that I had the bloody discharge (it was so faint I probably wouldn't have seen it unless I was looking) I had cramps as that was going on, but now that my parents know about all of this I've felt MUCH better. [Smile]

So to sum up my long message: what is your opinion on the pregnancy test? Two negatives, one maybe non existent positive ghost line? Like I said, my parents don't want me to test anymore until I miss my period (if I miss it) my parents don't believe that I'm pregnant, but they heard me out and said a week after I miss my period they would take me to the doctor, but since I know what the outcome would be if I were pregnant, I need to know as soon as possible (and yes I'm talking about an abortion, please don't judge me [Frown] ) also, what could that bleeding have been? Implantation bleeding? It happened 8 days after sex and I have a 30 day cycle and we had sex on the 6th day of my cycle (protected sex) I feel like the bleeding and cramping maybe have lasted for more than one day, but I was also suffering from dehydration so it's hard to tell.

Question: your opinion on the pregnancy test? What do you think? Are my parents right? Should I trust them?

Question: what's your opinion on the bleeding? Can massive stress for a week cause spotting and cramps? My boy friend did finger me the night before that, maybe he tore something (help me out here? I really don't know?)

Question: my dad wants to wait a week after I miss my period to take me to the doctors to confirm the pregnancy and move towards aborting it. Will I still have time to abort it by then? Will they deny me an abortion? Can they do that to me? (I'm 18)

I'm sorry for the long message, but my parents are getting a little tired of hearing about this from me. But please please respond, I could use some words of wisdom [Smile]

Also, when I was talking to someone on here before about all this, they noticed my terrible anxiety. This whole ordeal has made me decide to start counseling, which I am excited about and think It will be very helpful to me [Smile]

Ps. I've recently developed sciatica, which means that I damaged my sciatic nerve (I'm a runner) could that cause pain in my lower stomach?

I know you all aren't doctors (or maybe you are?) but hey, I could use some advice [Smile]

Thank you so much for everything! I appreciate all the support! [Smile]

Posts: 41 | Registered: Jul 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Robin Lee
Volunteer Assistant Director
Member # 90293

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Hi Goldenrush,

We don't judge people here about the decisions they make about their bodies, so you don't need to worry about talking about abortion here.


That said, you can find the answers to your questions about pregnancy tests in one of the articles we linked you to in your last thread.

I'd like you to read through that to figure out whether you can trust the test results you got, okay?

I can't possibly tell you what the bloody discharge was from, but spotting is something that can happen to anyone for any reason. Experiencing spotting once in a while, without any other concerning symptoms, isn't usually something to be concerned about. However, if you are concerned, you get to go see a healthcare provider about that. you actually get to go see a healthcare provider whenever you'd like for whatever reason you have.

Anyone should have that right, and since you're 18, you can make that decision for yourself.

If you're experiencing abdominal pain, that would be something you'd discuss with a healthcare provider who can evaluate your individual symptoms and give you a physical exam.

To sum up, it sounds like a lot of the questions you have here are of a medical nature and seeing your doctor or another healthcare provider would be a sound direction for you to go in with those questions.

Glad to hear you'll be seeing a counselor. When's your first appointment?

--------------------
Robin

Posts: 6066 | From: Washington DC suburbs | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Goldenrush
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Thanks! And my parents don't want me to see a doctor until I miss my period (if I do miss it) I'd like to see a doctor now but they won't let me make an appointment or anything, and as I'm still living with them it's not wise to go behind thier back and make an appointment. At least that's just my opinion.

But yeah, I'm still a little unsure about the pregancy test thing, and I'm pretty sure I've read that article before. I just don't really know anymore, and everytime I try to figure it out, I just get headaches because it's too much. I know I'll be fine either way, I don't think I'll regret getting an abortion if it comes to that. I can't have a baby at this point in my life, I just got into college and my parents say I have every right to my own decision.

Now I know abortions are a touchy subject, but can you be denied an abortion? Or can it be too late to get one if its still within let's say, 12 weeks?

And I just wish my parents could hear me out and take me to a doctor so I could get this all over with. It's majorly stressing me out. [Frown] If I don't get my period on my expected date, I'm taking a test no matter what my parents tell me. I have a right to know, and the sooner I know, the better. But a part of me just can't believe any of this, I mean we used protection and everything, the chances are so slim. But anythigs possible I guess. [Frown] And I feel like I should trust my parents but I don't know

I'm still worried even though my dad has told me I have nothing to worry about. My boyfreind had been great about this, but what happens if I am pregant and do get an abortion? I'm afraid of losing him if it comes to that. [Frown]

Anyway, thanks for all your help! [Smile]

I start counseling this Tuesday. [Smile]

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Robin Lee
Volunteer Assistant Director
Member # 90293

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I'm a little baffled as to what it is that is making you not believe the test results. You got one that clearly said you weren't pregnant and another that you had trouble reading but which, when you asked for help reading it, showed as negative as well.

According to the article on pregnancy testing (and you can read it again if you don't remember) did you wait enough time in order for the test results to be considered accurate?

You absolutely get to do whatever makes you comfortable as far as obeying your parents' wishes regarding when you seek healthcare. Remember though that you're the ultimate authority on your body and your life, and you get to decide what you need and when.


if you live in a place where abortion is legal, you absolutely cannot be denied an abortion. it would be unethical for any healthcare provider to do so. I understand you feeling like you need to plan this out but i'd personally suggest, for your own peace of mind, not worrying too much about what you're going to do about a pregnancy until you actually get a positive pregnancy test.

--------------------
Robin

Posts: 6066 | From: Washington DC suburbs | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Goldenrush
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I don't know, I just dont like the non-digital pregnacy tests. Both my parents said that they didn't see another line, so I'm just thinking that I might have imagined it. I just need to wait and see if I get my period, I think that's the only thing I can do now, but yeah if I don't get it on the expected date, I'm taking another test.

I live in a place where abortions are legal.

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