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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » EXPERT ADVICE » Emergencies and Crises » Help, am I pregnant?!

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Author Topic: Help, am I pregnant?!
Jena123
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Please help!!! I'm worried about the risk of being pregnant. My boyfriend and I, after having a conversation have decided neither of us are quite ready for vaginal intercourse. However on the 17th (3 days ago) My boyfriend and I were fooling around. We were in a position where I was on top of him and his penis was flat against his stomach. I then grinded down on him around the middle of the penis, I do not think the head of his penis touched my vagina. But if it did, what are the changes of being pregnant? He did NOT ejaculate of penetrate me at all. But I'm worried bout precum. 3 days after this I have started to get very mild cramps, Is this because I'm worried about the risk of being pregnant? or is my period coming early? I have already had my period this month, It started late last month and ended on the 3rd.

Thank you.

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Jlv

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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Hi there, Jena.

Am I understanding right that you and your boyfriend were not dressed, and were rubbing your genitals directly together?

[ 06-19-2013, 11:08 AM: Message edited by: Heather ]

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Jena123
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Yes that's right. But only around the middle of his penis touched my vagina.

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Jlv

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Jena123
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Also I am only 16 and have had some irregular periods sometimes.

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Jlv

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Heather
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Okay. But you have to know that direct genital-to-genital rubbing like that does pose possible risks of pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections.

So, next time around? If you two want to do that and reduce those risks, then at the very least, your boyfriend should be using a condom, okay?

For now, I also hear you saying he did not ejaculate. In other words, a condom wasn't used, but he basically used withdrawal properly, in that he did not ejaculate into or unto your vagina. That means that while there is a risk, we can't say there isn't, that risk is very low.

If you want to reduce it further, you still have time to get and use emergency contraception. Per STI risks, there's nothing you can do about reducing those risks now, but if one or both of you are not already regularly getting tested, that's something both of you could start doing in a month or so to cover that base.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Jena123
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We have both already been tested for STI's last month when we thought we were ready to go all the way so that's not an issue. Its just the pregnancy risk I was worried about.

So are you saying there's very little- next to nothing risk of me being pregnant??

And how do I get emergency contraception, is it free from the chemist ? Do I have to show ID or even book an appointment?

Thank you

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Jlv

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Heather
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Yep, I'm saying we can't say there is no risk, because that wouldn't be true, but the risk in this case would be very small.

Emergency contraception sometimes is free and sometimes is not. If you're in the UK, what you want to do is locate a GUM clinic or a Brook to see about getting it for no cost or low cost (or go wherever you went to get tested). Or, you could purchase it from a chemist.

[ 06-19-2013, 11:26 AM: Message edited by: Heather ]

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Jena123
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Thank you

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Jlv

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Heather
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Sure thing.

For next time, or the future, do you feel able to talk with your boyfriend about making choices with less risk? If not, happy to talk with you about having those kinds of conversations.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Jena123
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Yes we've discussed going on the pill before, I'm a shy girl who has trouble talking to strangers (doctors) about these things, but in this situation I understand its something I need to overcome in order to have safe sex. As for next time we fool around I'll have him use a condom.

Also, I was wondering, it it true there are things you can do to make your period come sooner?

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Jlv

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Heather
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Well, mostly this is about talking with your partner, to start, just by talking about how contraception of some kind -- be it condoms, the pill, both, or something else entirely -- are needed for activities like this or intercourse which pose risks.

But for sure, if you'd also like a method a doctor needs to prescribe, fit or insert, you're going to need to talk with them, too. [Smile]

For the most part, your period is going to come when your period comes. Some people find sometimes that with things like parsely tea, they can speed it up a tiny bit, but even then, it's not something you can make happen far from when it was going to anyway.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Jena123
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Oh okay thank you [Smile]

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Jlv

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Jena123
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Oh do you have a suggestion to why I might have the cramps?

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Jlv

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Patricia H
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Stress? Excessive worry, hormonal cycles, blood clots...cramps could be from anything and everything. If you're worried that it might be pregnancy related, it's not.

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Nolite te bastardes carborundorum. - Margaret Atwood, The Handmaid's Tale

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Jena123
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Yay thank you so much [Smile] It probably is due to stress for exams ect and worrying about being pregnant in the firt place. That makes sense. Thanks

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Jlv

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Jena123
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So I got my period 2 days ago, and today I took a pregnancy test which came back negative. Can I safely 100% say that I am NOT pregnant ?

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Jlv

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Heather
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I'd certainly say so.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Jena123
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Thank you [Smile]

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Jlv

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