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Author Topic: Maybe a mishap? Help..
LolitaDemon
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I just had sex with my current boyfriend yesterday. It is not my first time.
I had given him a slight blowjob before this happened...
He went to put the condom on (he wasnt hard. It was on the head of his penis) and then he took it off and flipped it over to the other side and put it on that way instead.
The part that touched his penis was inside me. He was nervous and got mixed up.

That's the bad part. Really. I don't know if any Precum was on the condom when he put his penis in me.
I'm so terrified.

Is it likely that I can be pregnant from that?

The sex was fine. No problems with the condom, and even with one on I made him pull out. So he did not ejaculate anywhere near my vaginal area.


Also I have a pinkish white discharge.
( I didn't have sex for 8 months)
And I have a small abdominal pain. Is that normal or bad?

But what are my chances? I need help please!!

Also, I'm still figuring out these forum functions so sorry in advance!

[ 06-26-2013, 10:00 AM: Message edited by: LolitaDemon ]

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Robin Lee
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Hi LolitaDemon
and welcome to the Scarleteen message boards,

What you describe really isn't likely to be any more of a pregnancy risk than just having intercourse with a condom.

Next time though, you'll both want to ensure that your boyfriend waits until he is at least mostly erect before putting the condom on and that if he puts one on the wrong way, that he just gets another one. You can also be part of this process to make sure the condom goes on correctly.

You've mentioned a concern about pregnancy. Can I just check in about whether you and your boyfriend are also up-to-date on your STI (sexually transmitted infection) testing?

How long has this discharge and abdominal pain been going on?

--------------------
Robin

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LolitaDemon
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Thank you! And this whole site helps and terrifies me. Haha. Paranoia sort.

The condom was fine. No leaks or anything.

So does it seem like I'm in the clear for that part? It's unlikely that I'm pregnant?

As for tests, neither of our parents know we are sexually active.

The pain had been going on since after sex yesterday, discharge since the pain started.

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Robin Lee
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HI There,

Well, any time one engages in sexual activity that can lead to pregnancy, there is a risk. How big or small that risk will be depends on the birth control used. You can read about the effectiveness of condoms (as well as lots of other useful information) here:
Condoms

Speaking of condoms, I wouldn't expect there to be any leaks in the condom. Contrary to popular beliefs, condoms do not come with little holes in them or spring little leaks. If a condom breaks, it splits or tears really noticeably. So long as a condom is stored properly, hasn't expired, and is used properly, it is unlikely to break. Here's some more information on condom use:

Condom Basics: A User's Manual

Getting sexual healthcare is part of taking care of oneself when one becomes sexually active with a partner. Depending on how old you are, you might be able to go to a sexual health clinic without needing your parents' consent. If you have a regular healthcare provider you see, you can also talk with them and expect confidentiality. That is, they shouldn't tell your parents what you talked about.

Can you fill me in on what terrifies you about reading this site? Maybe I can help?

--------------------
Robin

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LolitaDemon
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quote:
Originally posted by Robin Lee:
HI There,

Well, any time one engages in sexual activity that can lead to pregnancy, there is a risk. How big or small that risk will be depends on the birth control used. You can read about the effectiveness of condoms (as well as lots of other useful information) here:
Condoms

Speaking of condoms, I wouldn't expect there to be any leaks in the condom. Contrary to popular beliefs, condoms do not come with little holes in them or spring little leaks. If a condom breaks, it splits or tears really noticeably. So long as a condom is stored properly, hasn't expired, and is used properly, it is unlikely to break. Here's some more information on condom use:

Condom Basics: A User's Manual

Getting sexual healthcare is part of taking care of oneself when one becomes sexually active with a partner. Depending on how old you are, you might be able to go to a sexual health clinic without needing your parents' consent. If you have a regular healthcare provider you see, you can also talk with them and expect confidentiality. That is, they shouldn't tell your parents what you talked about.

Can you fill me in on what terrifies you about reading this site? Maybe I can help?

Thank you for those links, they help alot!

Also, we don't have an insurance at the moment. It's been a year since I went to any doctor. But I am very determined to talk to a doctor about another contraceptive method to add onto what I use now.

What terrifies me about the site is all of the things that I read that can go wrong. Leading to pregnancy, specifically. I'm too young and not ready. I do all I can to avoid that during any sexual activity. I knew alot about sex but for the hour I've been reading this site, I've learned so much more.

But I've another question.

What are the chances of becoming pregnant from Precum?

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Robin Lee
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In your reading, have you been able to work out which sexual activities are pregnancy risk possibilities and which aren't? I ask because your question about what the likelihood of becoming pregnant from pre-ejaculate doesn't really tell me what you want to know.

To clarify, pre-ejaculate itself doesn't contain sperm. In some situations, it can pick up sperm that is leftover from the urethra. Sometimes, people can get pregnant that way even if there's been no ejaculation. However, it really just depends on whether they were doing the activity that could lead to pregnancy.

You've read, I imagine, that direct contact between bare genitals is what is needed for their to be a pregnancy risk. If there is pre-ejaculate contact, but not through that direct bare genital contact, it's just not at all likely to pose a pregnancy risk.

You know, if are feeling this anxious and worried, taking sexual activities that could lead to pregnancy off the table until you have contraception you're comfortable with is always an option.

Would you like help finding a sexual health clinic in your area?

--------------------
Robin

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LolitaDemon
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quote:
Originally posted by Robin Lee:
In your reading, have you been able to work out which sexual activities are pregnancy risk possibilities and which aren't? I ask because your question about what the likelihood of becoming pregnant from pre-ejaculate doesn't really tell me what you want to know.

To clarify, pre-ejaculate itself doesn't contain sperm. In some situations, it can pick up sperm that is leftover from the urethra. Sometimes, people can get pregnant that way even if there's been no ejaculation. However, it really just depends on whether they were doing the activity that could lead to pregnancy.

You've read, I imagine, that direct contact between bare genitals is what is needed for their to be a pregnancy risk. If there is pre-ejaculate contact, but not through that direct bare genital contact, it's just not at all likely to pose a pregnancy risk.

You know, if are feeling this anxious and worried, taking sexual activities that could lead to pregnancy off the table until you have contraception you're comfortable with is always an option.

Would you like help finding a sexual health clinic in your area?

Yes I've been able to pick out basically what's okay and what isn't okay.
So pre-ejaculate really isn't much to worry about in my situation.
There was no bare genital contact at all. 100% covered up and protected on that part. We weren't even close to each other when he put the condom on.

I have talked with my boyfriend and we will not have se again until we are both more educated and protected, as well as even ready.

Please! That would be great.

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Robin Lee
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Yes, you got it, what you described really isn't an increased pregnancy risk.

I'm glad to hear you and your boyfriend are on the same page with this. [Smile]

Are you comfortable sharing your zipcode with me here so I can help you find a clinic? If not, I can give you an email address where you can send it privately.

--------------------
Robin

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LolitaDemon
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quote:
Originally posted by Robin Lee:
Yes, you got it, what you described really isn't an increased pregnancy risk.

I'm glad to hear you and your boyfriend are on the same page with this. [Smile]

Are you comfortable sharing your zipcode with me here so I can help you find a clinic? If not, I can give you an email address where you can send it privately.

My boyfriend is worried haha. So for a final confirmation, I have nothing to worry about, I should be way in the clear of not being pregnant?

He cares about it just as much as I do. And we have talked about what we would do in case I err got pregnant. But he thinks its also best to just stop. [Smile]

My zip code is 37167.

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Robin Lee
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Have you shared the information you've gotten here, included the articles, with your boyfriend?

Thanks for your zipcode. I'll get back to you by tomorrow with that clinic information.

--------------------
Robin

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LolitaDemon
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quote:
Originally posted by Robin Lee:
Have you shared the information you've gotten here, included the articles, with your boyfriend?

Thanks for your zipcode. I'll get back to you by tomorrow with that clinic information.

Yes I have and he's been reading this website all day.

No problem!

So as far as it stands, am I in the clear? Will I be "okay"

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LolitaDemon
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I'm so sorry. I know double posts are frowned upon but I'm still not certain....

His Precum was on the outside of the condom when he inserted himself into me. So there was "direct contact" of our genitals but we had a condom on. It was a very small amount of Precum. But is that going to make me pregnant? And during sex, he did not ejaculate inside me. So that part is fine. I'm just worried about the contact with Precum.

Also, if I stress out, can I make myself have "symptoms" to make myself think I'm pregnant?

It's been over 24 hours since I had sex.

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Robin Lee
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Hi There LolitaDemon,


No one is going to have symptoms of pregnancy a day (or even 2 days, or 7 days, or 15 days) after sex, even if they did get pregnant from it. Getting pregnant is a process, and most people don't experience "symptoms" for several weeks. A pregnancy test can't even detect pregnancy until 2-3 weeks after the sexual activity. So, any sorts of physical discomfort you're having right now is likely from stress, or anything else that might cause those symptoms.

That said, I think the thing to remember here is that pregnancy risks are most likely when there is direct contact. Pre-ejaculate (which, again, may or may not contain sperm) touching a condom, then, after a minute or two, touching a vagina, really doesn't qualify as direct contact.

for healthcare, including birth control, examinations, and STI testing, I'd suggest contacting your local health department. If their services don't meet your needs, they'll be able to refer you to other options. Here's their web site:

http://www.rutherfordcounty.org/health/

--------------------
Robin

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LolitaDemon
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quote:
Originally posted by Robin Lee:
Hi There LolitaDemon,


No one is going to have symptoms of pregnancy a day (or even 2 days, or 7 days, or 15 days) after sex, even if they did get pregnant from it. Getting pregnant is a process, and most people don't experience "symptoms" for several weeks. A pregnancy test can't even detect pregnancy until 2-3 weeks after the sexual activity. So, any sorts of physical discomfort you're having right now is likely from stress, or anything else that might cause those symptoms.

That said, I think the thing to remember here is that pregnancy risks are most likely when there is direct contact. Pre-ejaculate (which, again, may or may not contain sperm) touching a condom, then, after a minute or two, touching a vagina, really doesn't qualify as direct contact.

for healthcare, including birth control, examinations, and STI testing, I'd suggest contacting your local health department. If their services don't meet your needs, they'll be able to refer you to other options. Here's their web site:

http://www.rutherfordcounty.org/health/

Well when the preejaculate touched the condom, it was almost immediate when he inserted himself into me. But would that change anything?
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Heather
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What that changes is that your condom wasn't used properly.

In other words, when it comes to pregnancy risks, that'd then fall under typical use of condoms rather than perfect use.

In one year of typical use, condoms are 85% effective, rather than the 96% effectiveness they have in one year of perfect use.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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LolitaDemon
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quote:
Originally posted by Heather:
What that changes is that your condom wasn't used properly.

In other words, when it comes to pregnancy risks, that'd then fall under typical use of condoms rather than perfect use.

In one year of typical use, condoms are 85% effective, rather than the 96% effectiveness they have in one year of perfect use.

Even with him putting the condom on what looked like perfectly, it wasn't used properly?

I'm just worried if there was any preejaculate on the condom ( he doesn't know if there was or not) and whether that should be a major concern for me.

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Heather
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Putting a condom on backwards, then flipping it over and putting the same condom on isn't proper use, no.

Proper use, if and when that happens, involves tossing that condom out in the trash and opening and putting on a new one entirely.

But if and when you have a mishap like that, all you can do is what you can do from there. And your options at that point per pregnancy risks are either using emergency contraception or electing not to, depending on what level of risk you are or are not comfortable with.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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LolitaDemon
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quote:
Originally posted by Heather:
Putting a condom on backwards, then flipping it over and putting the same condom on isn't proper use, no.

Proper use, if and when that happens, involves tossing that condom out in the trash and opening and putting on a new one entirely.

But if and when you have a mishap like that, all you can do is what you can do from there. And your options at that point per pregnancy risks are either using emergency contraception or electing not to, depending on what level of risk you are or are not comfortable with.

Alright. So that's obviously a huge no-no.

I'm sorry I keep asking more questions, I just need answers. This is definitely a learning experience.

My boyfriend say that when he put the condom on, before he inserted himself into me, he rubbed the head of his penis with the condom on, with his hand. Would that have taken any preejaculate off of the condom?

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Heather
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I really can't possibly know.

It's okay to ask questions. But it does sound like maybe both of you could stand to review some how-to's on condom use before next time, eh?

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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LolitaDemon
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quote:
Originally posted by Heather:
I really can't possibly know.

It's okay to ask questions. But it does sound like maybe both of you could stand to review some how-to's on condom use before next time, eh?

Yes definitely. We aren't going to have sec until I can be on birth control plus a condom.

I'm sorry I have another question.

If he would have masturbated, ejaculated, and then let's say an hour later, urinated a few times, would that have washed awa any sperm that was left over in the urethra?

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Heather
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Based on the data we have around this, it's sound to figure that when someone urinates after ejaculating, any pre-ejaculate fluid that happens after -- and before ejaculating again -- is not at all likely to contain any traces of sperm.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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LolitaDemon
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quote:
Originally posted by Heather:
Based on the data we have around this, it's sound to figure that when someone urinates after ejaculating, any pre-ejaculate fluid that happens after -- and before ejaculating again -- is not at all likely to contain any traces of sperm.

He said he had last ejaculated the night before we had sex. So it was about a 12 hour+ time frame between him last ejaculatig and then us having sex.
So obviously he had to urinate sometimes between then.
But would sperm even last 12 hours in a urethra?

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Heather
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Really, this conversation is getting to that point conversations like this get to, where we're being asked for theoreticals that a) get iffy, and b) aren't even practically relevant since you're asking about something that already happened.

So, I'd ask we please focus, at this point, on what you can actually do from here per this situation that already happened. Those options are: a) obtaining and using Plan B, or b) not doing that.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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