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Author Topic: Anxious and upset, got myself into a state, please help
worriedgirl125
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Hi there,

I have a couple of questions to ask .. Firstly I'm on Yasmin, a combined oral contraceptive. In the past I have been a bit slack missing the odd one occasionally, but I recently had a pregnancy scare that put everything into perspective, now I'm trying to be even better and do things properly.
Anyway I take it before I go to bed, until recently when all this scare stuff happened I don't know of I have been taking it entirely right, aren't you supposed to take it at the same time everyday? Well like I say I take mine when I go to bed, sometimes that's 10pm, 10.30pm or gone 11. I try not to let 3 hours pass before taking it if you see what I mean, but I don't stick to an exact time daily. Am I compromising effectiveness by doing so?

This leads me to my next point. I'm hoping I don't have anything to worry about as I really don't want to have to go through all that again so soon.
The month of march I took my pills as said above, didn't miss any and right now I'm coming to the end of my placebo week. Last night me and my boyfriend were messing around. We did have sex, I was clothed for the best part but my underwear did come off. I'm worried about being fingered that may have had some precinct present - not a lot, he didn't fully ejaculate, but he was wet. Caught up in the moment I'm not sure if he touched himself and then fingered me. And there may have been a couple of times where he brushed up against my vagina not wearing pants.

Anyway, given my pill taking situation in march, do I have anything to worry about pregnancy wise if I am taking them correctly? Yesterday was also the first day of a new pack which I took around 9.30pm.

Thank you in advance x

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Heather
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With your birth control pill, you want to aim to take them around the same time of day: that makes it tougher to forget to take them.

You have, however, a 12-hour window, where only when you take a pill 12 or more hours later than that time is it late. Then it's only 24 hours later that a pill is missed.

It sounds like you're not understanding what does and doesn't pose pregnancy risks. have you taken a look at this first?

Pregnancy Scared?

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worriedgirl125
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I understand what your saying I think, so basically it's not the time of day that makes it more or less effective, it's just a way of keeping you in routine?

So I'm doing everything right where my pill is concerned then?

I have already read the article, and the chicken soup one too.

I guess I just got worried about the chances of precum being transferred, from touching himself, being on his hands and fingering me, and the worry came from wondering about my pill taking.

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Heather
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The closer you can take them to the same time (and again, we're not talking minutes here, but hours), the better, ultimately, but yes, you've got it.

And remember: when you haven't actually engaged in the kinds of contact that can create a pregnancy, there's nothing for your pill to even DO. So, whether you were or weren't on the pill, manual sex wouldn't pose a real risk of pregnancy.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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worriedgirl125
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Okay good, I was worried I was compromising their effectiveness if I didn't take them at exactly 10pm every night for example.

Manual sex I know doesn't pose pregnancy risk but there was still contact with a little pre cum, from his fingers and possible genital rubbing, although I stopped that.

With this information do you think I'm fine and have no risk/reason to worry? Move on?

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Heather
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Well, if there was direct genital-to-genital contact, that's something new in the equation here: was there?

Otherwise, again, we're talking about manual sex here once you're talking about his hands. His fluids from his fingers are not DIRECT genital--to-genital contact nor direct contact from his ejaculate -- as in, directly from his penis -- to your genitals.

The facts I'm telling you here are the same that are in the articles you've already read. So, really, it's up to you at this point to decide to accept them or not.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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worriedgirl125
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I'm unsure, he may have brushed up against me at some point which is what I'm worried about too.

Okay, thank you for explaining.

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worriedgirl125
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Do I need to buy plan B? I'm scared!
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September
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Worriedgirl, can you scroll back up to the top of the thread and re-read what Heather told you about whether you've been taking the pill correctly and whether you've had a pregnancy risk? That should answer your question for you.

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-joey
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worriedgirl125
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Well I know she said that, but the last comment she put about there being direct contact made me worry that I had something to be concerned about. I went and got plan b today, they told me the effectiveness will have gone down to 85% but I'm hoping that combined with my pill taking and not missing any will have put what did happen down to a minimal risk? What do you think?
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Heather
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I was responding to this from you:

quote:
Manual sex I know doesn't pose pregnancy risk but there was still contact with a little pre cum, from his fingers and possible genital rubbing, although I stopped that.
Which is why I asked this, since before that, you were only asking about manual sex:
quote:
Well, if there was direct genital-to-genital contact, that's something new in the equation here: was there?
It appears, in your answer, you said something about maybe "brushing against." Again, this isn't what we mean when we say direct contact. Risks from genital-to-genital rubbing would be coming from something you KNOW happened and was that, like grinding each others genitals together on purpose.

Really, your pill, unless you haven't taken it properly in the last cycle -- and it sounds like you have -- gives you excellent protection, better than Plan B. But if you haven't even engaged in the kinds of contact that can really, in reality, create a pregnancy there is nothing for EITHER of those medications to do in the first place, because you haven't HAD the risks they reduce.

In other words, those pregnancy risks have ALREADY been minimal, and probably far more than that: you didn't even have any, like we've been saying from the start.

Really, there's nothing more we can add to this. At this point, your feelings about all of this -- and maybe making different choices about if you even feel comfortable engaging in these kinds of sex -- are for you to sort out. We're happy to talk to you about those choices or larger feelings, if you want help sorting through that, but as far as risk-or-no-risk, you've already got all the information there is to have and access to all we have on site here, to boot, should you want more, okay?

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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worriedgirl125
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No there was no grinding, he attempted to but I wouldn't let him, hence the brushing against each other, with possible pre cum from his arousal.

But as long as I was taking my pill correctly, which you confirmed I was, thank you for clearing up the time thingy. I read somewhere lately that they had to be taken at the exact same time/hour of day so that they are 24 hours apart to be fully effective, so hence the panic.

I think the last scare has just ruined sex for me at the moment, last time I missed a pill and took EC the next day. Everything turned out fine but I had a hard time believing so and moving on. This time I made sure I took all my pills and not miss any for that cycle, and we didnt have sex, just manual, and I've now taken EC. So i would have to be the unluckiest person alive against most odds to get pregnant from this? Right?

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Heather
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This isn't about luck. Going to try this one last time. [Smile]

Manual sex doesn't pose pregnancy risks.

Not getting pregnant from a kind of sex that doesn't actually have the capacity to create a pregnancy is no more luck than, say, not getting into a car accident when you weren't in a car in the first place is about luck.

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worriedgirl125
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So basically nothing that I have said had put me in any risk regardless of pre cum and taking my pill?
That's a relief.

Can I ask then, if I were to take my pill at say the exact same time every day, I.e 10pm, would it make a difference to the effectiveness or is what I'm doing now just as good?

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Robin Lee
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Heather addresses this in her first reply to you. Can you take a look at that again please?

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Robin

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worriedgirl125
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Okay, I just want to make absolutely sure I've got nothing to worry about. So I carry on taking my pills as I have been and should expect my bleed to arrive aswell, I realise there's the chance of it being early or late possibly.
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worriedgirl125
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I just realised like an idiot I counted wrong! Although I took all of march's pills correctly, and had my seven day break, I thought Friday was the last day and I started taking again Saturday, but it should have been Friday I took my first pill of the cycle! I've only just realised! I started them on Saturday!
Am I in trouble now? Oh god I can't believe what I have done!

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Heather
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So, you took the first pill in this pack a day late?

If so, you want to make up that missed pill, and use a backup method for the next week. For the full pack if you want to be extra cautious.

And given all your worries here, it sounds to me like backing up with condoms, period, would be a good idea for you.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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worriedgirl125
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I don't plan to have sex anytime soon, this is too much worry. I do usually back up with condoms, this time is isn't as we wernt going to have sex. But I will for every act in future.

So do I take two pills tonight?

Have I put my self at risk, given everything that happened above?

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Heather
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Yep.

And like I said earlier:
quote:
Remember: when you haven't actually engaged in the kinds of contact that can create a pregnancy, there's nothing for your pill to even DO. So, whether you were or weren't on the pill, manual sex wouldn't pose a real risk of pregnancy.



--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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worriedgirl125
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I hope so, I'm still worried about their being pre ejaculate present, even more so now I've realised this. I'm so stupid.
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worriedgirl125
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I hope so, I'm still worried about their being pre ejaculate present, even more so now I've realised this. I'm so stupid.
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Heather
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I really don't know how many other ways to tell you that that does not matter.

Ultimately, if you remain worried, at least recognize you're worrying about something that isn't rational or realistic, a lot like worrying about your house being struck by lightening when there isn't actually a lightening storm happening.

But we really can't say anything we haven't already said to make what's really something to concern yourself with and what isn't any more clear. Now you just have to choose if you're going to accept that or not. If you're not, though, I ask that you at least please step away from continuing to engage us around what we've made clear is a non-risk, a response which is not going to change.

It's simply not a productive use of our time and energy, okay?

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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worriedgirl125
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I'm sorry, I don't mean to waste your time. I just feel like I put myself at risk, I'm angry.

I found a quote from the fpa, talking about combined pills, saying that if you miss one pill anywhere in the pack or start it one day late, it does not matter and you still have contraceptive cover.
It states that it becomes risky to start a pack late and miss more than one pill.
I think the nhs agrees. I should listen to it, and you, I know. I thank you for your patience, it means a lot to me that your spending the time to talk with me.
I'm just worried, and have got a long wait before my next period. If it doesn't show I just know how I'm going to react.

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Heather
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What I'd suggest for you that IS productive is that you focus more on those feelings, and what you can do with them, than on risks that aren't real.

Again, yes, what I'm saying, the NHS is saying, etc. is all right about your pills effectiveness and how to take it. But all of this kind of address is about protection from pregnancy when people are actually DOING the things that can create a pregnancy.

I'd say that if you can put your efforts into getting away from the things that aren't real, and figuring out what really is for you in this -- like your feelings -- then waiting for your next period is going to be a hack of a lot easier. (Mind, you also always have the option of a pregnancy test in the meantime.)

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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worriedgirl125
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So really then, as I took all my pills fine before, talking on a general scale, taking the new one day late hasn't effected anything? Obviously not to make a habit of it, and I have taken all of the next ones right, as I thought I was doing anyway. So even say if I'd had unprotected sex on the Saturday, I should still be okay?

How soon would a pregnancy test be reliable for me to forget about all of this? Not so much that I'm expecting it to be positive, I can't think of anything worse, but I would hope seeing a negative would make it all a bit easier.

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Heather
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Once more with feeling, and then really, I need to hold limits we keep trying to set: there isn't anything for the pill to EVEN DO if you have NOT engaged in direct genital-to-genital contact or direct contact -- not with hands in between -- between someone's semen and your genitals.

So, we can know that regardless of how you took your pills, they're nothing for them to impact in this regard in the first place.

To make another comparison, in case you're just not getting this, this'd be like me asking if a medicine I took for a cold would work for a cold I never had in the first place.

Per pregnancy testing, tests tell you on the box when they will be accurate. But as a general rule, when you're not taking one after a missed/late period, you can figure a test taken at least 2 weeks after a risk will tend to provide accurate results.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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worriedgirl125
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I understand, I'm trying to hold onto the fact that technically I have nothing to worry about. Seeing creditable sites such as nhs say that starting a day late wont compromise cover makes me feel a tad better, as I should t have ovulated within that day, but prolonging it could cause that too happen, I think that's what they're saying? along side all you've said. I just wanted to make extra sure, I don't have anyone to talk to hear. I'm left with the Internet and the temptation of looking up stories.

Ok. I may test in two weeks, I shall see how I am feeling.

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Heather
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Missing one pill is not going to ever cause someone to ovulate right there and then. Ovulation is something that happens within a process, where hormone levels have to change over weeks, not in one day.

But for now, while I'm happy to talk with you about how to take your pill properly, or to talk about how the pill works, I'm not going to talk anymore about a risk of pregnancy that wasn't for real, or at what risk you might have been of pregnancy from a given incident I've already said again and again wasn't a risk at all.

It's also on you to control yourself when it comes to looking up anecdotal things on the 'net that lack credibility. And honestly, I'm sure you can do that. Just walking away and staying away from the net would take care of that quite nicely!

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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worriedgirl125
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I guess not, but being off the pill for seven days and then one more isn't the best thing is it? How does the hormone level seat up when your not taking pills in your free week?
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Heather
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Have you read this already?

http://www.scarleteen.com/article/reproduction/how_do_birth_control_pills_really_work_even_during_the_placebo_period

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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worriedgirl125
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I've just had a read through, so it's saying the job was done for that cycle but obviously you need to keep it up for the next one.
So why do some people say missing the first pills or in the first week is most risky? It's quite contradictory

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Heather
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Because it is. Mind, they mean for people actually using the pill as contraception because they are engaging in the kinds of sex which has the capacity to create a pregnancy.

That's not you right now, but if it WAS you, then missing a first pill would, in fact, be something where you'd need to take an extra precaution with pregnancy in that cycle of pills FOR any intercourse you're having by using a backup method.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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worriedgirl125
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Therefore I don't understand why nhs say if you start it a say late your still protected?
But no I didn't have sex, and won't be for the rest of the pill pack.

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Heather
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making a mistake with one pill doesn't take away all the effectiveness of a pill, that's why. You're not going to go from a perfect 99% effectiveness (these are all rates for one year, mind you) to 0% because of taking that first pill late, or missing one pill at any time.

Your pill may simply be less effective, which is why the standard recommendation for a missed pill with the very first pill (and a missed pill in general) is to make it up as soon as you know you have missed it, and then back up for a week to play it safe.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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