So I'm ashamed I did something very stupid (stupid even if the person is clean) which I will seriously never ever do, and only did as a result of being sexually frustrated for many years.
[A female came over] to my room yesterday evening and we did a few safe activities with clothes on (rubbing, exploring) but then after that there are 2 things that happened that terrify me. So I was laying down and she was straddling me (both of us were unclothed then) and I could feel her opening over my penis (but I did not stick it in). Also afterwards, I fingered her for a long time and then masturbated with the same hand directly afterwards. I'm really scared about these 2 things.
And finally she did take a condom out and give me a blowjob, but I'm pretty sure that was safe and I did inspect the condom afterwards (it was undamaged). So I'm concerned if any of the 2 aforementioned activities might have led to harmful fluid exchange.
In the long run, this question does not matter since I'll be visiting my schools health center tomorrow when it reopens (spring break) and will get tested for various STDs in 2 weeks from yesterday. But it's just I really don't want to tell my parents (the school screening/testing thing is confidential) and I'm just a nervous wreck.
Thanks :/ Edit: I realize this is my first post and it's quite selfish (I just googled and found this site) and well I promise that after this mess is over, I'll actually be a productive member in this community.
Welcome to Scarleteen, insanelyscared! Don't worry about contributing to the community - while we always welcome it when users chime in and help each other out, we get that most people come here in crisis and need answers, and that is what we are here to provide.
Firstly, there is no point in beating yourself up over what happened. What's done is done, and if you don't feel comfortable with your choice, then you'll simply know not to do that again.
It sounds like you had direct genital contact, which does pose STI risks. So, yes, a test is in order. However, since it can take a while for some STIs to show up in tests, you will want to wait around three months to have the test done. Or, if you want to go ahead with your appointment, you will want to retest in another three months to confirm the results.
-------------------- -joey Scarleteen Volunteer
"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand Posts: 8769 | From: Cologne, Germany | Registered: Sep 2005
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Thanks for the reply. Unfortunately I'm the type of person to stay extremely stressed until results come.
As to the three months, I think that's for HIV and I'm wondering about this thing called PCR to test directly for the antigen in ~10 days. Anyways, to my dismay, I read that foreskin makes me more susceptible to catching STDs (more membrane for the vaginal fluid to contact) and I'm terrified this may have happened. But yeah, as to testing I hope to test for multiple STIs after 1.5 weeks till the end of April and as for HIV 3months and 6 again. I didn't take PEP though.
Anyways, you're right. The past has passed and hindsight won't change anything, but I can't help but feel really depressed and have huge mood swings (mostly to the negative).
Well, I'm taking a blood test today in seven hours(for the early detection of HIV)!
Anyways, I talked to a doctor at my school and she did say the aforementioned activities are low risk but did refer me to counseling for anxiety. I do not want my parents to know so the counselor aside, nobody to confide to. Oh, and I also had a urine test which tested negative for gonorrhea and chlamydia (which I'll be retaking along with an HIV/syphilis blood test in three months)
So (very) hopefully after the next 3 days when I'll get my results back, I'll finally resume my activities normally!
Posts: 3 | From: California | Registered: Mar 2013
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Just for future reference, our user guidelines make clear that users can't post about illegal activity here. Mostly, that's for your protection, but also for ours.
That's why I edited your initial post.
-------------------- Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen About Me • Get our book! Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead Posts: 65670 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000
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