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Hachette
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Hello ! Im french so sorry for my bad english Im still learning, i have an urgent question about periods because mine is MIA, i know im not pregnant because the only sexual thing i have done is oral and manual sex and while the receptive partner waas naked the other was fully clothed and i went first ( the female and later him so we didnt have to worry about fluid exchange, also there was no ejaculation just precum. and i also did them 2 days before my menstruation was supossed to come so there was less chance. Now im on day 30 of my 28 day cycle and i've been getting all period symptomps except my period [Frown] this sucks because i know that when you dont have a period something is not working right. I am also pregnancy paranoid because once i had a scare and now i feel everything can make you pregnant even though that is not true. Well in order to ease up my mind I bought s pregnancy test and did it yesterday with one day of delay and of course it was negative but i cant stop feeling anxious, what do you think I should do ? Have i missed something and i am pregnant?
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Onionpie
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Hi Hachette, welcome to scarleteen! We don't answer pregnancy risk assessment questions here -- and even if we did, we wouldn't be able to tell you if you were pregnant or not. The only way to tell that is to take a pregnancy test 14 days after the sexual activity, which it sounds like you did.

This post has links to articles with all the information you need to be able to assess this situation (and any others in the future) for yourself to tell how much of a risk you had:
http://www.scarleteen.com/forum/ultimatebb.php?/ubb/get_topic/f/28/t/007116.html

Also, this article has more information about periods MIA:
M.I.A or, Dude, Where's My Period?

Hope that helps! [Smile]

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Hachette
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Thank you onionpie i've read the articles but I cant help but stress, what can i do to stress less ??
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Heather
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Might it help to think about other times in your life when your period wasn't right when you were expecting it, but when you hadn't engaged in any kind of sex at all?

In other words, a two-day deviation with a period is a very common thing for most people. Chances are, you have had one before, but weren't stressing about it because you hadn't had any kind of sex. can you think back to other times when you know your period wasn't exactly when you expected?

(Also, it might help to know that when you don't get a period right when expected, or even when you skip one -- which will happen sometimes -- it actually doesn't mean 'something isn't working right." Just like other systems and parts of our bodies won't function the exact same way sometimes, and that's not about something being wrong, the same can happen with your reproductive system. Experiencing some change or a shift doesn't mean something is the matter.)

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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Hachette
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Thank you Heather ! The thing is that it hasn't happened before, I am always 28 days sharp and this kind of stresses me a bit, in sex i dont plan doing any other activity until i get the implant or the pills but i know the activities i did dont have pregnancy risk ( i read your really helpful articles) and it isnt the first time i do them, i dont know if i should stress or just wait this week and see what happens. Thank you guys for your time
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Heather
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Really? From the very first time you started getting your period?

I ask that because that'd be about as typical as...I don't know, being struck by lightning. The first year of menstruating, at a minimum, most people, almost all people, will no way have that regular of a cycle because ovulation doesn't happen that regularly right from the start.

My guess is, since you started really paying attention to your cycles, it's been that regular 28 days, but that there was probably a time when your period was not that regular.

If not, you're a unicorn! [Smile]

Seriously, if not, if you have never ever had anything but a perfect 28-day cycle, then figure starting with now, you should plan for some deviation to start happening more through your life.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Hachette
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I know it is weird but its the first time this happens thats why im so freaked out, I always chart even with the mucus but not with temperature and i have been doing the same every single cycle, i suposse it has to happen sometime but i really freaked out and googled the reasons ( my bad i know) and saw the possibility i could be pregnant or whatsoever, i know im not but i completely panicked and a USA friend recommended me this page a while ago so i figured out i could ask. I am really trying to relax but i just cant i feel really anxious and nervous ( i also have an anxiety and obsessive compulsive disorder) but i've been taking medication. Thank you for your time and i'll see what happens, if my period doesn't come in the next days should I contact my healthcare provider ? is it ok if i ask my mom to stay outside ??
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Heather
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If you were charting from the very first time you started your period (and sometimes, even for months or longer, that can look only like spotting), you would have seen some anomolies along the way doing proper charting. Particularly in those first couple of years.

I don't mean to be so skeptical, but the menstrual cycles, while diverse, is something that develops, rather than, from first period, being exactly the same every single cycle. The body still changes a LOT during puberty, and menses is usually fairly early in the process, so those cycles really can't stay exactly the same while your body is doing so much developing. As well, even once puberty is done, each cycle is not going to have the exact same daily mucus and temp readings every single month. It's just one of those things that is so impossible year after year -- mostly because a whole human body simply isn't that static, so no one system can be -- that we've got to be skeptical when someone suggests their is, you know?

You already took a pregnancy test with negative results, so why do YOU think you're worrying so much? Do you not trust those tests? Or, do you think this is mostly about getting your anxiety and OCD triggered?

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Hachette
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I think it is more my OCD and anxiety thing, it isjust i dont know how to control it, it hasnt been always the same but the same amount of days i am 100 percent sure it has, this is my third year so i believe im still experimenting changes and im preparing for myself to this can happen anytime. I also know that if you take the test a day after or sometime after you were supossed to menstruate you can be more sure youre or youre not preg, i followed the instructions right i know for sure. What can i do while i wait for my period?
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Heather
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Okay, so period-wise, you started pretty late on the curve, then, and this is also very new. That given, I'd remind yourself that with your cycles really just starting, you still have a lot to experience with them, including, probably, cycles that are NOT like clockwork, and probably fairly often.

With your OCD and anxiety: do you see a mental healthcare provider for that? If so, have you talked with them at all about how to manage anxiety and OCD with a sexual life?

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Hachette
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No I havent talked about that, my psychiatrician is a male and I feel like embarassed if i talk about sex with him, i know i will have to or maybe i can ask for a female therapist to talk about that. I just want to get my period [Frown]
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Heather
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I hear you. At the same time, this is probably going to be an ongoing issue regardless, so your period may be the band-aid for now, but won't likely be a permanent fix.

By all means, if the therapist you see isn't someone you can talk to about all your triggers, sounds like it's time to ask for a change.

In the meantime, have you tried using tools you've developed with that therapist you have to cope with other triggers with this one?

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Hachette
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I used to dance a lot to get anger and stress away but now im focused on school, maybe that's what changed my period in the first way but i feel i can make time to excercise as i used to ( i used to dance 3 hours daily and now nothing) and stress less about school, sometimes when i have nightmares i read books and everithing but ive tried that and it doesnt work ( yesterday i had a dream where i was pregnant and i had to give up med school ) [Frown] i dont know what else i can do sorry if i seem so desperate and thank you for being so supportive
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Heather
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It's okay.

So, how about maybe carving out some time today or tomorrow to dance, even if it's just for fifteen minutes?

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Hachette
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I think that might be fine [Smile] maybe with some excersice i can stress less [Smile] i feel it wouls be ok, another question period absence and be related to weight gain ? I was almost anorexic because i exercised a lot and now im on a weight gain diet, can that also be a reason ??
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Saffron Raymie
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Changes in diet can influence menstrual cycles, yep, and so can exercising very often (even though you're on a weight gain diet).

Here are more reasons in this article here (it gives weight loss as a reason, but changes in diet can also affect periods): Dude, Where's my Period?

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'Obtain the virgin's consent before you marry her' - Prophet Mohammad (pbuh)

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Hachette
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Thank you Rei I read the article and found it so helpful, I just have one more question, I am going to my gyn on friday because I really want to know why Im not getting my period, what should I answer when she tells me that If I have been sexually active ?? i 've done only oral and manual sex and that is sex but it has not pregnancy risks, and we both are sti clean... Should I say no or should I say not in a pregnancy risky way ?? I rather say things directly but i dont know if i would feel comfortable explaining my whole sex life to my doctor or is that what it is supposed to be ? Thank you !!
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Robin Lee
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You can say it just the way you said it here: only oral and manual sex. [Smile]

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Robin

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