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» Got Questions? Get Answers. » EXPERT ADVICE » Emergencies and Crises » What exactly did he see?

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Author Topic: What exactly did he see?
Anieke5656
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I have been sexually active for a little under a month now with my boyfriend, monogamous, and have been using a condom every time we have sex.

A few nights ago, we had sex once (with a condom) and then a few hours later (again, with a condom). Before the second time we had sex, he had urinated.

After the second time we had sex, he proceeded to perform oral on me within about twenty minutes of sex. He then stopped, and said he thought he saw something white around my vagina, or inside it, I'm not too sure. I rushed to the bathroom, and tried to see if it was any semen that had somehow escaped the condom. I didn't see anything.

I think that maybe it is my own vaginal secretions, because I asked it if was at all bubbly and he said it kinda was. Maybe it was just the secretions' reaction to a bunch of movement? Or his own spit?

Could it possibly be semen if we used a condom?
[Confused]

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Robin Lee
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Hi Anieke5656 and welcome to Scarleteen.

If you used a condom from start to finish for each time you had intercourse and the condom didn't break, then it's unlikely that what your boyfriend saw was semen. It's very easy to tell when a condom breaks; it splits or shreds noticeably.

It's likely that what your boyfriend saw was vaginal secretions, plus lubrication from the condom.

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Robin

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Anieke5656
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Okay thank you!

And just another quick question, how big of a factor does stress play in delaying a period?

I have been super stressed lately, because for some reason I am paranoid that condoms don't work as well as they claim and that I am somehow pregnant from previous sex. And I know that if I am late because of my own stress, it would just tack on some more.

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Robin Lee
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Stress is known to affect when a period arrives. Stress hormones can cause changes with many systems in the body, including the menstrual cycle. How this manifests will vary from person to person.

Would you like to talk about your anxieties regarding condoms? If so, what is it that makes you worry about their effectiveness?

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Robin

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Anieke5656
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Yes, I would appreciate talking about that.

I don't know - I just have this intense fear of pregnancy. I guess growing up, my mother always would tell me how disappointed she would be if I got pregnant, things like that. And for awhile, that was why I would not have sex... because of that irrational fear I would get pregnant (I'm 20 now).

I knew that I wouldn't have sex without protection, and I trust my boyfriend enough to know he would never do anything I wouldn't want to. So he didn't pressure me to have sex, it was my decision.

I know condoms are reliable form, if used correctly, but I always wonder if I used them right. I've read countless articles on contraception, statistics... And I feel like they are freaking me out more than helping me.

I have an appointment on Friday to meet about birth control, because I think that will help my fears. But even then, I don't know how comfortable I will be with birth control only... and I know my boyfriend doesn't like condoms, and only uses them for my sake.


Should I double up my contraception to keep my anxiety down? Or just get over it?

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September
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Often, intense pregnancy fears, especially when you are using contraception consistently and correctly, can be a sign of something else going on: such as, not being completely comfortable with the sexual activities that you are engaging in, having shame and fear around sex, being afraid of being discovered by parents, etc.

So, I'd start by asking yourself if you feel there may be anything going on that is causing this anxiety.

As for your concerns around condoms, we have an article that explains how to use them correctly, so you can double check if you are doing it right:
Condom Basics: A User's Manual

It is always a good idea to double up on protection, even when you aren't so super worried about pregnancy. Also because condoms are the only method of contraception that also protect from STIs. So even if you decide to try some form of hormonal protection, I would encourage you to talk to your boyfriend about continuing to use condoms, as well.

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Johanna
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"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

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