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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » EXPERT ADVICE » Emergencies and Crises » Sperm?

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Author Topic: Sperm?
olemgirlygirl
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I want to know more about sperm so I can be as safe with my boyfriend as possible. I have read all your articles and can’t find any more information about sperm. Me and my boyfriend do not have intercourse nor genital-to-genital rubbing either, unless we have our clothes on. So if I or my boyfriend had completely dried hands let’s say just wiped them off and touched my vagina there is no way of pregnancy? And for that to have pregnancy he would have to literally touched him and right away touch my area to even have a chance? I worry just because you cannot see sperm and wondering by a quick glance at your hand missed any semen that was on your hand and touched the vagina, could that lead to a pregnancy? I am on birth control too, but this month I accidently starting my new pack and took a sugar pill instead of a hormonal one. Usually I wouldn’t worry about something like this because I am protected but made a mistake this month. So basically I started my new pack of pills a day late. The next day when I realized I took a sugar pill instead of a hormonal one I just took it the next day at regular time and took another later on that day and continued with my pack of pills as normal. I’m worried because 4 days after taking my pill later me and my boyfriend performed the activity above. I think I know you will say there is no risk but can you tell me more about sperm and why there would be no risk please?
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olemgirlygirl
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I'm sorry I just read that one forum that says this topic is only for emergencies only, I missed that forum sorry. This isn't an emergency but I just want to clarify more things because I just don't understand and want to find more information as soon as possible. Thank you for your time and hope to hear from you soon.
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September
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Hi olemgirl, welcome to Scarleteen. Can you start by reading through this article:
http://www.scarleteen.com/forum/ultimatebb.php?/ubb/get_topic/f/28/t/007116.html

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Johanna
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"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

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olemgirlygirl
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Thanks, I read your articles and it says that I don’t have a risk. I have a couple of questions though. Can you tell me why sperm can’t survive from penis to hand to vagina? As soon as sperm touches something other than semen does it actually die right away? Sperm is a little sticky so does it just stick to the first thing it touches once out of the penis? My worry is because I think I was ovulating at this time and that helps sperm swim to get a girl pregnant. How much sperm would we be talking about here though? Like visibly looking at your hand if you see no semen on it does that mean there is no sperm on your hand? What about pre-cum? Usually that doesn’t contain sperm but if he didn’t urinate before then how much pre-cum are we talking about to actually get a girl pregnant and as well as ejaculation? And about my Birth Control, if I started my new pack after my period ended and was a day late starting my new pill pack by accident do you think that can actually cause a woman to ovulate right away? Is there more of a risk to ovulate if you miss a pill in the middle of your pack or missing a pill is the same less-effectiveness no matter what?
Sorry for all the questions. I am just trying to understand, thank you again and for your time I hope you can answer my questions.

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September
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Sperm are very delicate and need the ejaculatory fluid to remain viable. Once that dries up, or you wipe it on something, there's just not enough ejaculatory fluid around for the sperm to remain mobile and viable.

So, if someone ejaculates on or in your vulva, that's a pregnancy risk. If they ejaculate anywhere else, it isn't.

Missing a pill, especially the first one in the pack, may lower the effectiveness of the pill. But we can't predict whether or how that would happen. Since you missed only that one pill and made it up right away, I'd say you're still in the window for typical effectiveness of the pill, which is around 92%.

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Johanna
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"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

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olemgirlygirl
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What if you don’t literally wipe it off? What if you just touch something else other than a vagina first before you finger? Here I will explain my situation. So my boyfriend always fingers me fist before he even ejaculates, the thing I am worried about is pre-cum. So before we even kissed or did anything he said he needed to go to the washroom to adjust. So when he was in there I don’t remember hearing the tap go on or anything so I don’t think he washed his hands. So I am worried that he might have adjusted himself got pre-cum on his hands then fingered me. Before all this he touched the door and my clothes too first obviously before fingering me. Then after I put my underwear and jeans on and gave him a bj and he cummed but in my mouth. Some got on my hand but I washed them twice right after. So I know there is no risk since I washed my hands right after the ejaculation but I am worried about pre-cum. Okay here is another question. Do you think my bf would have had pre-cum when he was in the washroom? What does it take for a guy to even have pre-cum? Is it right before he ejaculates? Does a guy have to be kissing and touching to have an erection and have pre-cum visible? Sorry for all the questions again. I know I am just being overly paranoid now.....
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Robin Lee
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A guy can pre-ejaculate at any point when he gets aroused. Some have a lot of pre-ejaculate, and some only have a little. Also, pre-ejaculate itself doesn't have sperm in it. It can however pick up sperm that may still be left over in the urethra (the area that urine and semen comes out of. No, wiping doesn't have to mean intentionally wiping one's hands as one would if one was, say, drying one's hands after washing them. As Joey said, direct contact with fresh ejaculate is needed for there to be a pregnancy risk.

As we have said in our "limmits to pregnancy risk assessment questions" we really do need you to be reading the material and making your own decisions about it and what it means for you in your specific situations.

What we can talk about is how to manage these worries you're having. First of all, does having more information from the articles help? Secondly, do you think you'd feel better if you asked your boyfriend to always wash his hands before he fingers you? It's a good idea anyway, not because of pregnancy risks but because of the possible transfer of bacteria and germs which we all carry on our hands to your vulva, which is much more sensitive to that sort of thing.

What do you need right now to feel more at ease?

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Robin

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olemgirlygirl
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Maybe.... he always touches me first so maybe I will ask him to wash his hands and make sure not to touch his area before touching me. I have talked about it with him before and he says he is safe and there is no risk. He says we are both really careful and I shouldn't worry about that. I think because I have such a fear of getting pregnant that I think anytime pre-cum or ejaculation is even close to me I always think there is a risk. This is talking about being fully clothed too. I make sure every time when my area is exposed that his area is covered or that when his area is exposed I make sure my area is covered. I know as soon as my period comes I will feel better, until next month when we just do it again. I like when me and my boyfriend do touch it brings me closer together to him though I don't want to be scared all the time or think there is a risk but I think the fear of being pregnant really takes over me. Your information you provide on your

Do you think I should worry about the ejaculation more than pre-cum though? He did urinate before like a couple hours before we did this so that means there wouldn’t be any sperm on his pre-cum? And he obviously didn’t ejaculate after he peed because I was there with him for the rest of the day. I washed my hands after touching his ejaculation so I know I was careful there. I am just so worried about the pre-cum. I don’t think I have a risk but I am still scared. Like what’s wrong with me?

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olemgirlygirl
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sorry last part got cut out. I was saying your information you provide on your site is plenty and that it's very informative. So thank you for that. [Smile]
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girl10
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Hey olemgirlygirl! I was in(kind of still am) in the same situation as you! I gave my boyfriend a hand job (there was no cum, only precum) anyways he put his p**** back in his pants and zipped them up. Awhile later he rubbed me over my jeans then underthem and my underwear. I was soooo worried he may have had a tinly little bit of pre-cum from puting he p**** back in his pants. This was at the end of April. I got my period like usual in May then in June. Yet, I am still worried about pregnancy: / ha I don't know if it is ok to comment on your topic buuutt maybe we could talk about it since we have the same fears and maybe it will help? if you don't want to that's fine: ) lol It was just a thought, since talking about it usually helps ha
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Robin Lee
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HI Girl10,

This forum is actually limited to staff and volunteer responses.

If you would like to, you could start a thread, perhaps in the support groups forum, where you can chat with others about how to deal with pregnancy fears.

As you may have seen, staff and volunteers aren't currently answering pregnancy risk assessment uestions as we have a lot of materials on the site for people to be able to assess risks themselves. This doesn't mean, however, that you can't start a thread about dealing with the anxiety or uncertainty. [Smile]

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Robin

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olemgirlygirl
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Hey girl10,

Thanks for your reply; it is nice to have someone in a similar situation as me! I do feel a little better so thank you!  Well since we can’t talk in here we can talk about our situations in the support group forums then. I am new here and still kind of trying to figure out where everything is so not sure where they are located on the site?

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olemgirlygirl
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I'm really worried... I am on birth control and I am not suppose to get my period for another 2 weeks but I got some bleeding this morning, with cramps and breast tenderness. Do you think it could be implantation bleeding? I'm worried.
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Robin Lee
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How long have you been taking the pill?

Spotting between withdrawal bleeds is a pretty common side effect of taking the birth control pill. Breast tenderness can happen for all sorts of reasons. Breast tissue can, for some people, be sensitive to hormonal changes, and there are still lots of hormonal changes that happen in the body even while taking birth control.

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Robin

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olemgirlygirl
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Thank you for the fast reply. I have been taking it continuously for over a year. I messed up starting my new pill pack though and took it a day late. Instead of taking it on Wednesday morning I took it on Thursday morning then took another later that day and continued taking them as regular.
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Robin Lee
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While spotting is most common during the first few months of taking the pill, it's not at all uncommon for it to crop up any time.

Since the start of your new pill pack was delayed by a day, I'd suggest using a back up method of birth control for the rest of the cycle if you're going to be engaging in any sexual activity that could lead to pregnancy--just to be on the safe side.

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Robin

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olemgirlygirl
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The only sexual activity I engaged in this cycle was the one I wrote above. You already said there is no risk but I am still worried and can't stop worryring. Maybe it would make me feel better if I took a pregnacy test? How soon can you take it to be most accurate?
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Robin Lee
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All of the information you need to assess whether you've had a pregnancy risk, and learn about testing and other options is right here:

http://www.scarleteen.com/forum/ultimatebb.php?/ubb/get_topic/f/28/t/007116.html

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Robin

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olemgirlygirl
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Okay thanks. I have another question. If I did have a risk let's say could that be implantation bleeding? I read online it's rare for woman to have and if you did have it, it's a very small amount of blood? Could you tell the difference between implantation bledding and period bledding? And if my period doesn't come when it's suppose to do I assume this was my period or no?
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Heather
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You can check out this link for that one: http://www.scarleteen.com/forum/ultimatebb.php?/ubb/get_topic/f/27/t/023303.html

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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olemgirlygirl
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So I am a little concerned.... I have been bleeding on birth control for 2 weeks now. Is that normal? I missed a pill like I mentioned above so my cycle is all messed up. I am wondering if I should go to the doctor and get checked out? I am on my sugar pills now so if I am still bleeding after that should I go see a doctor? Thanks for your help.
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Robin Lee
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Do you mean that you've been bleeding continuously? Or does it stop and start?

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Robin

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olemgirlygirl
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Yeah it's a stop and start kinda period. I will wake up in the morning and then there is nothing and them I look later on and my pad is full.
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