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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » EXPERT ADVICE » Emergencies and Crises » What's going on with period??

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Author Topic: What's going on with period??
suli150
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Member # 96261

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Hi! first of all I love your site it is very helpful.

My period as supossed to start the 11 but it is nowhere to be seen [Frown] im worried because it doesn't usually come late and when it does i get lots of cramps. Today is 13 and it hasnt shown!! I know it has to show up sometime ( i do chart and though there might be a 2 day delay because the mucus changed) i know im not pregnant because i didnt get engaged in any risk. I was fingered but that doesn't involve a pregnancy risk since his hands were clean. Anyways to ease my mind i took a HPT yesterday and it came back negative, i thought i was going to be more relaxed and i also searched for changes in my vulva or try to find out if i had a infection but things seem pretty normal.

Maybe youre wondering how a simple delay can stress me out so much, the reason is that. Know that if my period doesn't come in a week or so i will have to go to de doctor, everytime i visit the gyno my mom comes with me and im pretty sure she will be amazed to know my himen doesn't exist anymore. (it happened a long time ago i inserted three fingers ) i am afraid of how she might react since i havent had a penile penetration but to her eyes i dont know what she will believe, i feel very uncomfortable telling her about my sex life or so, i believe thats something personal and she has to respect my desicions regarding my body. Im really scared for this and because of my absent period!!


Oh and i read the article of Mia period and the pregnancy risk one i liked them and how the information is displayed but didnt help me to relax. [Smile] thank you for your time

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suli150
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I forgot to add that the test i took said it had to be taken first day of delay so i know it was timed correctly and i followed the instructions perfectly.
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September
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 25425

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Why do you have to see your gynecologist if your period is late? Periods are late sometimes, that's not a big deal and doesn't usually call for a doctor's visit.

Do know, though, that you absolutely have the right to ask that your mother stay out of the exam room when you are at the doctor's. If you do not want to ask her yourself, you can have a nurse do it. You have the right to privacy, and not even your mother gets to disrespect that.

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Johanna
Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

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suli150
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Well I read in the instruction box that if it comes up negative i have to retest in a week and call my doctor, i know i can do that but i dont know if she might understand, i constantly feel in those kind of things she is really annoying. I dont feel bad with any desicion I have made towards my sex life but it will kill me if she finds out or no longer trusts me.

I read in one of your articles that periods can be delayed by stress, i think that is what happened because i was really stressed around the time i was supposed to ovulate.

My last period was on Jun 14 and I have 27 cycle day, that's why I tested yesterday but i don't know if timing is correct (well anyways i had no risk to begin with )

My discharge hasnt turned any more yellowish or any color and i dont feel pain urinating so i also thought i dont have an infection.

So I just have to wait ?? Sometimes I get a 30 day cycle but it is not very often and I have just skipped a period once when I was like 12.

Thank you very much for the advice and if I have to see my doctor I hope to have the guts to tell my mom to stay out.

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September
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Skipping a period every once in a while isn't a big deal. And at this point, it's only a couple of days late, if I understand correctly? So, no reason to worry just yet.

If you were to skip two or more periods in a row, it would be a good idea to talk to a doctor about it. But just this once, it's perfectly fine.

And again, if you feel uncomfortable confronting your mother directly, you can always ask a nurse to talk to her. But if this is something that is generally on your mind, maybe it is time to sit down with your mother and have a conversation with her about your sex life? Honesty does tend to be a pretty good policy, and oftentimes parents appreciate it if you tell them straight up and show them that you are being responsible, rather than them finding out about it later.

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Johanna
Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

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suli150
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Thank you so much, in case I miss another period I will contact my doctor, well it is just she is really conservative and I know she thinks masturbating isnt right or she has other ideas wich are ok but i dont share. I think i just have to ease up my mind and wait for my period i hope it comes because im in the dy phase and having lots of cramps
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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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Sounds like you could use to find another doctor who is better educated and also doesn't share her personal sexual biases with patients.

Is it possible for you to switch healthcare providers? If so, I'd do that. Having a doctor with biases that make you feel uncomfortable talking with them about things potentially pertinent to your health or unable to talk about things limits the quality of healthcare you can get from them.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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suli150
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Thank you heather but by she I meant my mom not my doctor, in fact my doctor is really open minded and really nice but i havent seen her in a while. With the one im having issues with is my mom, i just want my period to come and forget all of this
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Heather
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Ah, gotcha. Sorry for the misunderstanding!

Best bet for periods to come when they're supposed to? Do whatever you can to try and relax, then get your body moving, get busy with other things. All of those things combined -- especially if you're also still getting rest, eating as you normally do, etc. -- really help to help an out-of-whack cycle (though yours may not be, since a few days later than a period is expected is pretty common for everyone) get back in sync.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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suli150
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Ok i will try everything you say, thank you a lot!! Anyways I used to dance a lot and now im not doing anything, i will hang out with my friends , excercise and see what happens, Ill tell you when my period comes but thanks again for your time and comments
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suli150
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Hey there! Im more relaxed now I know my period is supossed to come anytime soon. I talked with my mom and told her I was late but I also told her I can't be pregnant unless I was virgin Mary I didn't tell her about the fingering or the masturbation but anyways she believed what I said about not being pregnant which makes me more confident, in case I have to go to the doctor I will tell her I want to go on Friday ( that day my mom can't go) and my grandma can come over and she will understand if I tell her I want her to wait outside. However I still have one question, when she asks if I'm sexually active what should I say? I havent had any genital to genital contact ever !! Should I explain her my situation ? It is ot in my plans to have anything more than the 0 risk activities and my partner agrees with that, even if my gyno sugessts to go on birth control to regulate my period I wouldn't start having riskier activities, my partner and I used the readiness list and decided to wait. So some of the typicall questions of a doctor what should I answer ?
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Robin Lee
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HI suli150,

You can answer whatever you're comfortable with. It's completely okay not to just give a yes or no answer. You could certainly tell her that you and your boyfriend engage in sexual activities, but not any genital to genital contact because you know that kind of activity would put you at risk for pregnancy.

Also, if you go with your grandma and your grandma stays outside, that would be a good time to talk with your doctor about how you want to have private visits with her from now on, and that you would like for your mother to be asked to wait outside unless you specifically ask for her to be present. What do you think?

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Robin

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suli150
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That could be a great plan, it is just i dont want my mom to think im hiding something bad, it is just i think my desitions are private and my mom or my grandma can't know unless i want them to, it is just i feel your body desitions shouldn't spread around it is not like you have to shout you're not a virgin, i hink those kind of things should be private. i think i would probably answer to my doctor not in a risky way and explain her why and also tell her i rather go inside alone than with my mom or grandma because it makes me uncomfortable. My period is still MIA but i will keep you guys updated
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suli150
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Guys I just got my period! Thanks for all the advice, if my period keeps getting irregular I will consult my doctor. I asked my mom why she would enter with me rather than leave me by myself and she said because her mom did the same but she wasnt confident, she also told me that when she was young she wasnt responsible enough to have safer sex so she doesnt want me to take bad choices, i told her ot to worry that i wont engage in anything risky ( std or pregnancy) unless i can be protected and feel ready to do it. Thank you a lot and. Ice webpage !!
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