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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » EXPERT ADVICE » Emergencies and Crises » Pregnancy scare

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Author Topic: Pregnancy scare
Worriedgirl19902012
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I'm really worried. About a week ago, my boyfriend and I were dry humping, with him in underwear and pants (probably the same thickness as jeans) and me in a pair of mesh-type-fabric underwear (ie. there were holes in it). He didn't ejaculate, and I didn't see or feel a wet spot on his pants.

However, he was hard, so I feel like there must have been pre-ejaculate, and my underwear was wet from my own secretions (to the point where the outside of my underwear was probably wet, but not enough to get on his jeans). Could my wetness have created a pathway for the sperm to travel through?

I know that we didn't have bare genital contact, but I'm wondering if his semen could have come in contact with my vulva? I've been getting really conflicting information on whether precum can travel through clothing.

I'm worried to the point where I haven't really been sleeping or eating. My period isn't due for another 2-3 weeks, so I won't know for a while.

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September
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Hi worriedgirl, welcome to Scarleteen.

Have you seen this post yet?
http://www.scarleteen.com/forum/ultimatebb.php?/ubb/get_topic/f/28/t/006958.html

Why don't you read that, first, and then you can come back if you have any further questions.

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Johanna
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"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

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Worriedgirl19902012
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I'm just scared that his semen could have still come into contact with my vulva. Like I said, he didn't ejaculate, and I didn't see a wet spot on his clothes, but what if his sperm somehow traveled through my vaginal fluid?

My underwear was made of a mesh sort of fabric, so for all intents and purposes my vulva was bare, right?

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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No, for all intents and purposes you were wearing what you were. And he was wearing what he was. You were both dressed, and him in two layers, no less.

There were no pregnancy risks here, we assure you. Even if his pants had been sodden with ejaculate, which you both would have noticed, just like you would have had he wet his pants with urine, pregnancy still would have been very, very, very unlikely, to the point we can say even that would not have posed a real risk.

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Worriedgirl19902012
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So there's no risk whatsoever? Thank you for the reassurance!
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Worriedgirl19902012
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I just started spotting, but it's not like my period, more like slightly bloody discharge. This hasn't happened to me before, as far as I can remember. My period isn't due until the 15th at least, and my cycle's pretty regular. What's going on?
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Worriedgirl19902012
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I know you guys are sick of hearing about implantation bleeding but I seriously think that could be what this is. It's been a week since the incident happened and this is really light red.
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September
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Well, except for the fact that you really did not have a pregnancy risk. You really did not.

If you're still worried, you can take a pregnancy test once it's been two weeks.

How do you feel about the sexual activities you have been engaging in? Do you feel pretty comfortable with where you're at? Do you feel like you are moving at the right speed for you?

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Johanna
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"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

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Worriedgirl19902012
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What else could the discharge have been, then? It was really mucusy with a little light-colluded blood mixed in and it just lasted for a few hours. What if my underwear slipped aside a little that night? I feel like it could have.

I don't know if I think things are moving at the right speed. I feel like the relationship started on a really physical note. Like, the first night that we kissed, we ended up dry humping and making out for hours. That was definitely too fast, and things have moved really slowly in the three months since then.

I really don't feel ready for clothing to be removed, and because I'm so scared of pregnancy, I'd rather not have genital contact, even through clothing. I'm 21, not a teen, but this is my first relationship.

I also have OCD, and these thought patterns feel a lot like what I've experienced with that before, plus I'm going through a really stressful time right now, with graduating university and job hunting.

A pregnancy right now would seriously ruin my life. I hate that my period's not due for so long. Have you ever heard of anyone getting pregnant through clothes?

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Worriedgirl19902012
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Oops, I meant light-coloured blood, not light-colluded. My iPad keeps auto-correcting.
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Robin Lee
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NO, we really have never heard of anyone getting pregnant through clothes. Even had your underwear moved aside a little, your boyfriend was still wearing clothes, yes?

You've listed a lot of reasons why this type of sexual activity isn't right for you right now: your OCD (are you being treated for that?), the high degree of stress in your life, and a lot more. How do you feel about talking to your boyfriend about changing up the sexual activities the two of you engage in together?

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Robin

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Worriedgirl19902012
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I take medication for my OCD. I was seeing a psychologist, but then I improved a lot and was fine with just the meds.

I'd really like to talk to him about it but I'd feel so awkward, I just wouldn't know when or how to bring it up. He's a great guy, and I feel like he'd understand but I'm really bad at initiating this sort of talk. What would I say?

I've seen him three times since I started freaking out about pregnancy, and I wanted to tell him about my fears, but I felt silly every time I tried to, so instead I just sort of angled my body away from him when we made out, so his (clothed) body was touching the outside of my (clothed) thigh instead of my vulva.

I'm going to visit family, so I won't be seeing him for the next three weeks, so I do have time to think about it.

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September
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Would it be possible for you to start seeing your psychologist again? If you are still on the meds, you are probably still in touch with them anyway, right? It's totally okay to ask to be seen again when new issues come up.

Here are some starting points for bringing your worries up with your partner:
Be a Blabbermouth! The Whats, Whys and Hows of Talking About Sex With a Partner
Whoa, There! How to Slow Down When You're Moving Too Fast

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Johanna
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"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

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Worriedgirl19902012
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Thanks!
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Worriedgirl19902012
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So you're sure there was no risk? What could that bleeding have been?
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September
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It sounds like you had some spotting. That can happen from time to time.

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Johanna
Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

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Worriedgirl19902012
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It was really like, tissuey though. Is that normal?
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Worriedgirl19902012
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I just read this on Snopes and I'm freaking out.

"Myth: As long as neither party takes off their underpants, no babies will result.

If this were true, condoms would be made of cotton. Although teens may feel as long as a barrier of any sort keeps genitals from having direct contact with each other that what's going on doesn't really count, sperm don't subscribe to that view - they've got a job to perform, and symbolic barriers mean nothing to them."

Is that true?

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September
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Worried, can you do me a favor and read this article on how a pregnancy happens? Maybe this will help you understand why what you did does not pose a pregnancy risk.
Where DID I Come From? A Refresher Course in Human Reproduction

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Johanna
Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

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Worriedgirl19902012
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I'm scared again. My period should have come Friday night or yesterday and there's still no sign of it. I took a pregnancy test about a week ago and it was negative, and then I took one Friday, and it seemed negative, too, but I'm not sure. So, the test says once the control line shows up in 1-3 minutes, the test is complete. After about a minute, the control line showed up really vividly, and there was no second line, so I threw the test in a drawer. The test says that the second line can vary in intensity, and also that the test isn't valid after ten minutes. Today I looked at it and there was definitely a (very, very) faint second line. I'm so scared!
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Worriedgirl19902012
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I took another test last night and it read negative. I'm still worried though, because my period follows a fairly rigid cycle and I don't even feel PMSy at all.
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Saffron Raymie
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Periods can vary sometimes, as people aren't machines. How we feel before and during our periods can also vary hugely from month to month, so you might not even feel anything like cramps at any time. A typical cycle varies from about 24-36 days. There are many other things that can influence periods besides pregnancy (you han't had a risk, and have a had a negative test you can trust).

Here's a link that explains what else can influence periods: M.I.A - Or Dude, Where's my Period?

[ 06-17-2012, 08:23 AM: Message edited by: Rei ]

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'Obtain the virgin's consent before you marry her' - Prophet Mohammad (pbuh)

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