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Author Topic: Seriously worried, affecting my life.
hello kitteh
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Hello, I have done a ton of reading here over the last few weeks and thought I could finally relax over my pregnancy risk but yesterday I realized something that shook me up really bad and I can't seem to feel better.
I have read many times that ejaculate can't go through clothes, as long as there are no visible holes. But last night, my boyfriend was over and he was wearing some shorts of his that we had been "dry humping" in. I had noticed a wet spot before, and it made me realize, if I was humping him naked, and he was just wearing underwear and these shorts would there be a risk? I worry because I asked him if I could see how thick they were and I realized when I put my finger underneath his shorts, I could see my finger from the outisde, pretty easily, through little holes in the fabric! This freaked me out. So I guess my question is, if we were humping and I'm naked and he is wearing underwear and these shorts that do have small visible holes, am I at a risk? Or would the fabric that's there still soak up enough to prevent a pregnancy risk? Please help, I've been trying to talk to a counselor and I can't get ahold of them, and I'm really freaking out.

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Robin Lee
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Hello And Welcome to Scarleteen!

So, just so I'm understanding: your boyfriend was wearing two layers of fabric--shorts and underwear--and you were naked. Correct?

If one person is wearing at least one layer of fabric, assuming it's not a thong or something that can get pushed aside so there is contact between naked genitals, there isn't a pregnancy risk. Sperm just aren't powerful enough to get through fabric and potentially lead to pregnancy.

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Robin

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hello kitteh
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Yes, that's correct. I'm just worried because his underwear aren't thick at all, but they aren't able to be pushed aside I don't think, they come a little down his leg. And I was worried because I could see little holes in his pants, as the fabric wasn't woven very tightly. If his penis had somehow slipped out of his underwear inside his pants that had these little holes, would there be a risk?
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Robin Lee
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You would likely have known had that happened as you would have felt something different. Knowing how men's underwear fits it seems pretty unlikely too.

Also, it sounds like he didn't ejaculate during your dry humping. Is this correct?

I hear that you're really alarmed by this. There is no pregnancy risk from what you describebut it's still making you nervous. Have you been able to talk about your nervousness with your boyfriend? Sometimes when this type of thing makes us nervous it means that we might want to make some changes, either by changing the sexual activities we engage in to ones that don't make us as anxious about pregnancy or by using birth control to reduce the anxiety over possibly getting pregnant. What do you think of this?

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Robin

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hello kitteh
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I have talked to him, it really doesn't make me feel better at all. I guess I'm worried about his penis coming out of those flaps that a man pulls his penis out of to pee. Are you saying it's pretty hard for that to happen? And also that one layer of his pants even with the tiny holes are enough to keep me safe? what if I were wearing leggings while doing this, I know they are very thin but would it reduce the risk?
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hello kitteh
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And no, he did not ejaculate, but there was precum.
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Robin Lee
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When a guy goes to the bathroom, he has to actually take his penis out of those flaps. Otherwise, the flaps stay closed to protect his penis during daily activity.

Not being able to see the clothes you're talking about, I can't tell you for sure, but what I can tell you is that sperm can't get through clothing.

What you're describing, humping with clothes on, no ejaculation, tells me that there was no pregnancy risk.

But it does tell me that you're still very worried about this. Would wearing leggings help you feel less anxious? Do you think that you would feel more comfortable if you and your boyfriend took a break from these types of sexual activities?

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Robin

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