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Author Topic: Panicking
LeaM
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Member # 95440

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I want to say first of all that you guys have a great site here! You're not judgemental which is
what I am about to need right now...so thank you.

The problem is: I was hanging out with some friends back in January of this year. At 3am, a close friend of mine and I were the last to be hanging out. He had always been flirty with me but in a jokingly way I thought. The problem is before I knew it as we were chatting and teasing each other (tickling, etc) he grabbed and kissed me this night and quicker than I thought possible, his penis was out and my hand was over it. I froze and stood there for a sec...I told him I had to go. I freaked - pulled up on his pants, ran to the bathroom and stood there for a sec and then peed quickly and left. The problem?You see I am engaged. I felt so awful - undoubtly I also flirted with him, never really thinking anyone would really take it anywhere.
i felt really awful for a long time - but two days after this happened (on a sunday) my fiance and I had unprotected sex. We had talked about having a baby lots before and we had decided we should give it a try soon and see what came of it since we understood a pregnancy didn't always happen right away. Well, two weeks later I had a positive pregnancy test.

I am now 13 weeks pregnant - but during my 9th week a thought hit me like a ton of bricks. What if my friend's precum - I felt him wet when my hand was on his penis - came in contact with my vagina when I peed in his bathroom after the incident? I touched his pants and boxers as I said I had to go then went into the bathroom, pulled down my jeans to pee and then wiped. For some reason, the horrible thought that may be I became pregnant of his fluids has me more upset than you can imagine. I have had two panic attacks in the last few weeks and I don't want it to affect my baby. BUT I can't stop obsessing over it. Is there a possibility I became pregnant from his fluids?

This happened on a friday night (Jan.13) , had unprotected sex with fiance on the sunday, found out I was pregnant on sat Jan 28th, I believe to have ovulated on monday (16th) or tuesday (17th). My last period was on Jan 2 and my cycle usually is 28-29 days, please tell me your honest opinion?

I can't talk to anyone else about this....because it is shameful to me...please, help.

Posts: 8 | From: Canada | Registered: Apr 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
September
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 25425

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Welcome to ST, Lea.

The situation between you and your friend does not pose a pregnancy risk. So, there is no reason at all to assume that you became pregnant from this.

It also does not sound to me like you need to feel guilty about what happened at all. Some bantering and teasing with a friend is not necessarily flirting, and it was not okay of him to kiss you and start to undress without checking in with you, especially if he knew that you are already in a monogamous relationship.

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Johanna
Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

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LeaM
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Member # 95440

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Thank you for your response.

One last question, it's just safe to assume that any fluid that would have been left on my hand would have been absorbed by the toilet paper and would not have been able to transfer to my vulva when I wiped?

Thanks again for your time - sorry to analyze every detail...never thought I would find myself in this situation.

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Robin Lee
Volunteer Assistant Director
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Sperm need a very specific environment to keep them alive. A helpful way to look at it is that if sperm make any stops between penis and vagina (such as on someone's hand) then they're no longer viable and cannot lead to pregnancy.

Does that make sense? [Smile]

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Robin

Posts: 6066 | From: Washington DC suburbs | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
LeaM
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Member # 95440

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So because it was on my hand and I had touched a couple of absorbant materials this would have absorbed the semen rendering sperm unable to do their work?

How long does it take for sperm/semen to become useless when on a hand that has touched a couple of surfaces?

I am sorry....I know I am being irrational...I had been feeling better about it...but in your opinion because it would be a small amount and then I touched a couple of things, all this would make it unlikely - not possible to impregnate?

Thanks for all your help and support.

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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It's not about how long with this, it's about you not describing any kind of direct transfer.

This just isn't something sound to fret about. You don't need to be concerned about pregnancy here.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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LeaM
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Member # 95440

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I know you are all extremely busy...I can tell by the high quality of this site and the responses given to the members.

I have one more question and I will cease to ask anything else. Please...

So even if when wiping I would have accidentally also touched myself with my hand, this would still be considered a no risk?

I went into the bathroom only like 3 minutes after the incident - I did touch a couple of absorbant materials (jeans) before actually wiping. But what you are saying is that because it wasn't direct it's a no risk situation.

There was definitely never any touching of genitals, or actual intercourse or ejaculation. I don't know the last time he ejaculated so can't tell you if there was a possibility of sperm being there. I am just still a bit worried.

But I do get what you are saying about indirect contact...I guess my fear is that there was such a short time between that happening and me going into the bathroom. Thanks for all your time and help....really appreciative!

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September
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 25425

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You are right - the contact was just too indirect to pose a risk. Too, we are not even talking about ejaculate in this instance, but only possible pre-ejaculate. Even if you had had fresh ejaculate on your hand, you would have had to insert it directly into your vagina - and that's not usually party of anyone's bathroom routine. So, again: no reason to worry.

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Johanna
Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

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boynoshow
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so if there's a pre ejaculation fluid on your finger then you immediately fingered your gf will she be pregnant? or let me put it this way if there's a fresh pre ejaculation fluid in your finger then you put it in your gf's vagina will she be pregnant just curious O_O so confused about this matter i'd really appreciate it with your response thank you
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Robin Lee
Volunteer Assistant Director
Member # 90293

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BoyNoShow:

Your question has been answered in another thread.

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Robin

Posts: 6066 | From: Washington DC suburbs | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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