Donate Now
We've Moved! Check out our new boards.
  
my profile | directory login | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » EXPERT ADVICE » Emergencies and Crises » Very worried :(

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: Very worried :(
R.A.V.T.
Neophyte
Member # 92285

Icon 1 posted      Profile for R.A.V.T.     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Hello, I've been reading a couple of topics in this forum and I've come to understand that manual sex does not pose a pregnancy risk. However, two months ago, me and my girl simulated sex through our underwear and Im afraid precum might had gone through my boxers and through her underwear and it might have gotten her pregnant... Also a week later I gave her oral sex and afterwards I touched her outside vagina with my hand, and I'm worried that I might have touched some of my precum through my boxer before doing this (I had boxers on all the time), can this get her pregnant? I've read in this forum that precum does not contain sperm. Also, she had her period a week later and then another period the next month, that's why I havent told her I'm worried, but I'm kind of paranoid anyway. Should I keep worrying? Or can I rule out a pregnancy?
Posts: 10 | From: America | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
September
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 25425

Icon 1 posted      Profile for September     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Sperm cannot make it though clothing, so since at least one of you was wearing something in both of the scenarios you describe, I don't see a reason for concern.

Just as a note: pre-cum CAN contain sperm, but there is no way to know for sure. If a guy has urinated since the last time he ejaculated, the chances of sperm being present are very low. But it's always best to assume that sperm could be present, and act accordingly.

--------------------
Johanna
Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 9192 | From: Cologne, Germany | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
R.A.V.T.
Neophyte
Member # 92285

Icon 1 posted      Profile for R.A.V.T.     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Thanks Joey, and what if I would have touched precum with my hand and then rubbed her outside vagina? Can sperm survive that? Also, do these two periods she has had, rule out a pregnancy?
Posts: 10 | From: America | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
September
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 25425

Icon 1 posted      Profile for September     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Yes: a regular period means that your girlfriend is not pregnant. If she's had two periods since the risk, you can be sure that she is not pregnant.

As for your other question, this article should clear up what can and cannot cause a pregnancy:
Where DID I Come From? A Refresher Course in Human Reproduction

--------------------
Johanna
Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 9192 | From: Cologne, Germany | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
R.A.V.T.
Neophyte
Member # 92285

Icon 1 posted      Profile for R.A.V.T.     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
OK, the article you linked says "In addition, you cannot get pregnant by swallowing semen, by oral sex, or by manual (with hands, or "fingering") sex. You CAN, however, catch or transmit STIs that way." So in the situation I described above, there wasn't even a risk to begin with right? and after these periods I can totally rule out pregnancy?
Posts: 10 | From: America | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Kachina
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 42505

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Kachina     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Yep, like joey stated above, there was no pregnancy risk, and periods mean she is not pregnant.

--------------------
~Kat
Scarleteen Volunteer

Humans are allergic to change. They love to say, "We've always done it this way." I try to fight that. That's why I have a clock on my wall that runs counter-clockwise. - Grace Hopper

Posts: 876 | From: Seattle | Registered: Apr 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
R.A.V.T.
Neophyte
Member # 92285

Icon 1 posted      Profile for R.A.V.T.     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Thank you very much, so just to clarify, indirect precum transfer through hands doesn't pose a pregnancy risk, it is more of a STD risk right? So even if I might have had a bit of precum in my hand (I'm pretty sure I didn't, but its better to be cautious), as it was indirect transfer, there wouldn't have been a pregnancy risk right?
In other words, if I never placer my penis near her vulva, or never ejaculated near her vulva, and didn't have globs of fresh ejaculate in my hands, and with those periods... there is no pregnancy risk right? Just to clarify.
You guys have already helped a lot and I'm grateful.

Posts: 10 | From: America | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
September
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 25425

Icon 1 posted      Profile for September     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Yep! Indirect transfer of pre-cum does not pose a pregnancy risk. If there was no direct genital contact, and you did not insert handfuls of fresh ejaculate directly into the vagina, you don't have a reason for concern.

--------------------
Johanna
Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 9192 | From: Cologne, Germany | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
R.A.V.T.
Neophyte
Member # 92285

Icon 1 posted      Profile for R.A.V.T.     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Thank you very much [Smile] I really appreciate it.
Posts: 10 | From: America | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
R.A.V.T.
Neophyte
Member # 92285

Icon 1 posted      Profile for R.A.V.T.     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Hello, I started this post a couple of weeks ago... So right now I'm really paranoid, the girlfriend which I talk about in this post broke up with me in August 19th. The situation described above (which according to what was described didn't even pose a pregnancy risk to begin with), happened on July 21st, and then she had her period on Aug. 9th. Then she broke up with me and well, I felt really bad because I really loved her, then after a couple of weeks I kept being paranoid about the possibility of her being pregnant. But she told me she had her period in September and November the 4th, so I worried a little less.. then she started to tell me in december that she was feeling nauseated and dizzy, so I started to worry again, but then in late december she went to the beach and I got to see a couple of her pictures and she has no belly at all, she is pretty skinny (I suppose that after almost 6 months if she were pregnant, a big belly would show up by now). And now in January she is kind of blackmailing, by telling that she went to the doctor and he noticed that her heartbeat was a little slower and gave her some medication, expecting me to feel sorry for her and get back together with her. Then she started telling me that if I remembered that on July 21st we had that contact, and that she was wondering if that had anything to do with the nausea, dizziness and low heartbeat that she is going through right now on January 18th. She is starting make me worry again, and I haven't been able to sleep recently, I already told her not to bother me and that with what we did would be impossible to conceive a baby. But she keeps bugging me and calling me and texting me saying that she misses me and that if she is pregnant I would be responsible for that because of what happened that day. I already told her to leave me alone, but she won't, is this considered harassment? If I never had intercourse with her, and my penis was never near her uncovered vagina (we both used underwear all the time) and when I did manual sex to her didn't touch my genitals and I never even ejaculated, and she doesn't have a bigger belly by now and I know she has had some of her periods because she has told me... I really can be sure she is not pregnant right, at least not from me? I really need council and help, I've already looked for professional help, I'm starting therapy next week to get rid of this paranoia. Thanks a lot and sorry for the long post.
Posts: 10 | From: America | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Yes, you can be sure.

And more than that, I think, you do need to let this go and set limits here so that you can. In other words, if she isn't hearing your limits, time to block her number or change yours, to cut off her ability to contact you.

I agree that this is at a point where talking about harassment is sound. What I'd suggest is this: you make clear to her one last time she is NOT to contact you any more about this. If she strongly feels she somehow is pregnant because of you -- which I agree, does not sound remotely possible -- she needs to know she needs to make her own choices about a pregnancy and take her own responsibility, which certainly includes seeing a doctor for a test. You can tell her that by all means, should she test positive for a pregnancy and should an ultrasound (which anyone this far along in a pregnancy would be given) reveal she has been pregnant since the time you two have been together than then, and only then, would you be willing to talk about your responsibility here. But until or unless that all occurs, she must stop contacting you NOW, and any further attempts at contact will be stopped by you in terms of blocking or changing numbers, etc.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

   Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3