I went to visit a guy a few weeks ago. We were supposed to meet at his house and go on a date. I've done this before and nothing bad ever happened. When i went this time, this guy seemed completely normal. but eventually he like forced himself on me. I new him, and thought it would be okay i thought he was a safe person. I told this guy no numerous times, he knew I wasn't okay with moving fast. And basically he ended up holding me down by my arms at first, and the more i fought the more violent get got, and eventually by my neck. He didn't stop until I started crying and shaking excessively. and eventually said he didn't know why i was crying. I've tried to find hotlines, for rape victims but can't. I'm afraid to talk to guys now. I hate them. all of them. i feel so dirty and low.I can't explain it. its just random though I'll be fine, and then something will happen and I'm so far from okay. I don't understand. I've tried to find places where I live but idk if I can afford therapy, I have no health insurance. I just want this to go away.
Posts: 13 | From: Florida | Registered: Jul 2006
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I'm so sorry to hear what you've been through. It sounds like you already know this, but I just wanted to repeat it for emphasis: You are not to blame here, you are not dirty in any way, and it is completely normal to feel the way you are feeling now.
Have you been able to talk to anyone at all? A trusted friend, relative or mentor? If there is someone you can talk to about this, I would encourage you to do so, so that you can have someone there to support you and listen to you.
As for finding a rape crisis center, if you want to let us know where you are at in Florida, we can take a look around (you can let us know via the "contact us" button if you are not comfortable posting it here). Or, you can head on over to the RAINN.org website and use their search tool to find a center near you. You can find the search tool here: http://centers.rainn.org/ . They also have a hotline that you can call if you want to talk to someone.
And if there is anything else that we can do for you, just let us know, okay?
-------------------- Johanna Scarleteen Volunteer
"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand Posts: 9192 | From: Cologne, Germany | Registered: Sep 2005
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