I kinda blame myself, I couldn't do anything.
He was 1 pound, 7 ounces. It shocked me to see a baby, such a tiny being, go through something like that. I felt useless, I had hope that he would make it (I did and I was smaller than him; 1 pound, 3 ounces and 12 inches).
I'm Seventeen. It was the first time I seen a baby that small, it made me realize how lucky I really am to be alive today and to have minimum problems. I'm a bit worried, I blame myself for his death (I believe his mother was doing drugs).
What can I do? .. I feel absolutely horrible. Will I ever get this out of my mind? ):
-------------------- I love you Steph. <3 Posts: 53 | From: Halifax | Registered: Apr 2011
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Let me start by saying that what happened is not your fault. Very tiny babies face incredible challenges, and sometimes their bodies are just not ready for the outside world. Even with the help that modern medicine can offer, sometimes it is just not enough.
Do you have someone you can talk with? A family member, friend, member of the clergy, counselor, etc.? It absolutely is natural to feel grief any loss. It's hard and can often help to talk to someone.
-------------------- Sarah Liz Posts: 7316 | From: USA | Registered: Oct 2000
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I am sorry to hear about your and your family’s loss. Please know and take to heart that there wasn’t anything you could have done to have changed anything. (lots of hugs!) As an Paramedic, I personally have experienced such a tragedy (in the line of duty) where my partners and I did everything possible but it still wasn’t meant to be. As Sarah Liz said, there are times when the babies’ bodies simply are not ready. Despite modern medicine’s abilities, it can not override those times. Please don’t wait to seek out someone you can talk with, from my experience, it does help alot! This will fade, with time, from your active memory; but to be honest there may be times when something brings the memory back to the surface although it doesn' stay long.
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