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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » EXPERT ADVICE » Emergencies and Crises » Worried about life (pregnancy scare/ish stuff)

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Author Topic: Worried about life (pregnancy scare/ish stuff)
LostMorning
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Member # 51380

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So, me and my bf had sex and the condom broke. I took EC the next day, but I'm so worried about it. I'm terrified that I will get pregnant and I will let down everyone, my family, my friends, and my teachers. Not to mention myself, I hate myself so much right now. I just can't stand the thought of being pregnant and it wasn't a risk I thought about enough. I thought I was being safe, but I just wasn't or not enough it seems. Can someone tell me how much of a risk I'm at right now? Just to give me a ballpark before my period comes or doesn't.
Posts: 10 | From: Illinois | Registered: Dec 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
September
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 25425

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How high your risk was depends on whether or not your partner ejaculated, and how soon after you took the EC.

But really, what's done is done and there's no point in trying to calculate your risk now, also because there's no way we can give you an accurate prediction.

I don't think it's sage to think too much about what will happen if you're pregnant, because at this point that's still a very big IF, and there's no need going crazy about that possibility until you know for sure. But it sounds like you feel being pregnant would be the end of the world, so do you want to maybe talk about why you feel that way?

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Johanna
Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

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LostMorning
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Yeah I do, I just I have really big dreams and they would just be crushed if I got pregnant. I'm so afraid of letting down my family and the others I mentioned earlier. I know my boyfriend would be there for me, but I don't know who else would be.
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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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Well, if it does happen that you become pregnant, you are more than welcome to talk to us here, and we'll be one person/place who has your back and is ready to support you in any choice you make.

But for now, I'm with Joey: let's see what happens before getting too worried. In the meantime, do you want some help figuring out if this kind of sex right now that poses this risk is something you're really up for? Or help making sure you're using condoms correctly, or help finding where you can get a second method of birth control, if that's something you want?

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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LostMorning
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Ok, I'm trying to calm down about it and we know where we went wrong. I read about condoms and some other things the night the condom broke and I didn't know that we had to use lube. So I understand that now. I don't think I'm going to be up for sex for a while. My boyfriend understands that, too.

About the second method of birth control, I have a really painful period. My parents are actually going to take me to the doctors to see what they can do about it. They keep telling me that they might put me on birth control to stop it. So, I'm going to wait to see how that works out too.

Posts: 10 | From: Illinois | Registered: Dec 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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Well, "stopping" your periods not only often isn't possible, it's not always the right call. And methods of birth control aren't always a fix for painful periods: it really depends on why you're having pain, so a healthcare provider should do a full examination first.

However, while you're being looked at for that, you absolutely can bring up birth control, and even if a method of birth control isn't what they suggest for your pain, you can still likely use any number of methods regardless.

It's totally understandable for a pregnancy scare to make us reconsider sex and want to step back for a while. It's great you're honoring those feelings and that your boyfriend is, too. [Smile]

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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LostMorning
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Sorry about the late reply, there are tornados where I'm at. I know they can't just "stop" my period, but it seems like my parents are I don't know just acting really weird about birth control with me. Like they think I don't know what it does or something, which I do.

Yes I know that they might not want to put me on birth control, too. I think we would keep using condoms in that case, but we'll wait to see what happens at the doctors I think.

My boyfriend is a really good guy, but no one would ever think for us to have sex. He's handling the whole situation very well and he's helping me a lot.

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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Yipes! Hope you're keeping yourself safe (from tornadoes: I grew up in Illinois and have not-so-fond memories of all the tornado drills and warnings)!

Just so you know, if you choose another method of birth control those can fail, too. So given how clear it is that you really do not want to become pregnant, it might be your best bet, for your sanity and to avoid pregnancy, to keep backing up with condoms.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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LostMorning
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I thought about that a little too, I think we will keep using them. Just correctly this time, thanks for your help.
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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Sure thing, hang in there.

Also, in the case that you can't get in to be seen soon, know you can always get a pack of Plan B to keep handy for accidents like this, too.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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