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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » EXPERT ADVICE » Emergencies and Crises » Could i possibly be pregnant? Im so incredibly scared. Bleeding etc.

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Author Topic: Could i possibly be pregnant? Im so incredibly scared. Bleeding etc.
Member # 37508

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My boyfriend and i haven't had proper sex, as we are both scared about the consequences.
But recently,we've been fooling around, and i think that whilst fingering me, he may have had some sperm on his hand (i was giving him a hand job at the same time). This incident was a while ago, and i was scared at first, but then stopped worrying. However, after that, we got carried away, and his penis did enter my vagina, but when we both had under-wear on . This was for about 30 seconds, and i don't know if this could be a huge risk?

yesterday i saw that i had spotting of blood on my pants, and the night before that, i had lightly bled when he was fingering me (however, this has happened a few times recently whilst fingering :S ).

There's been a brownish discharge, and slight spotting, and ive felt tired, and had a horrid stomache ache all day.

Is it possible i could be pregnant?
or is it possible, i could have been, but am now having a miscarridge?

Please help me, im so worried.

Posts: 1 | From: merseyside | Registered: Mar 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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It's important that you guys try not to get caught up in worries about miscarriages.

It's estimated that around half of ALL pregnancies do not complete or end in miscarriage, and more times than not, that will be so early that a women won't even know she was ever pregnant, and certainly won't need a D&C or anything like it. So, a lot of the time, a woman who miscarries early has what looks like a period, but it's a miscarriage, and for all intents and purposes, that's nothing to fret over or even need to know. However, if you wanted to know for sure, take a pregnancy test: when a woman has recently been pregnant, her tests will still tend to show positive for anywhere from a few weeks to a few months after a miscarriage.

I'm not sure how exactly you would up with a penis in your vagina through clothing, but if it is thin enough to allow for that, then you'd consider yourself as having the same risks intercourse without clothing presents. So, you say you're scared of the consequences, but it sounds to me like you may not be managing your risks well right now: it's safer to have "full" intercourse using condoms than it is to be rubbing genitals right against each other without them.

The manual sex, not so much. Unless someone has a finger full of semen, pregnancy isn't all that likely that way. But having partners simply wash hands before manual sex is smart anyway, per those issues but more so, per preventing infections.

The bleeding after fingering is more likely to do with lack of adequate lubrication, or with a partner going right for your vagina rather than paying attention to your whole vulva. Too, if they're not using gloves, abrasions from hangnails, fingernails and even callouses are common enough.

Sounds to me like it'd be a good idea for you and your boyfriend to talk about your risks and managing them more soundly and realistically than you have been, okay? You may be in, or find yourself in, the position of taking more risks in trying to avoid negative consequences without a reality check than you would be in engaging in other activities safely with the things you actually need to reduce risks. That's actually fairly common, especially for young people who either aren't very sexually educated, or who are trying to do "everything but," without realizing that a lot of those buts still need risk reduction efforts.

Here's some information for you to help clue you both in:
•What's the Risk? Easy Pregnancy Risk Assessments
•STI Risk Assessment: The Cliff's Notes
•Birth Control Bingo!

Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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