Before I type this, I think I've learned, that if I make it through this okay, that I will never ever have sex again and I was very dumb anyways... My boyfriend and I had sex recently, twice within a one week span. The first time was on November 27th, which was the last day of my period so I was very light, and the second was the 30th I believe. Both times we used a condom as we have always done, but, my boyfriend didn't buy spermicidal lubricated condoms, yet, I still thought we used them correctly. The first time, he came inside me (the condom) and the second time he didn't. Well, he showed me the condom when he pulled out, to make sure it didn't have any holes, he checked and he said it didn't, but I didn't cause I'm weird about things such as that. Well, when he was disposing it, I also noticed a large amount of 'cum' on the tip of it, which slightly favored my own. I asked him about it, because I was very scared, and he said that it was mine because there had been some on there when he pulled out the first time (before he came)... Now I'm worried. Lately, my breasts have became incredibly tender, not as I most commonly get before I begin my period. My stomach feels bloated, or something to that extent, it feels expanding and I eat a little more. The week or so after, I got very sick a few mornings in a row and once almost threw up, but now I don't feel that... If I'm pregnant, I don't think I could have the child. My mom has told me before that she would kick me out of the house and my dad and family would send my boyfriend to jail (because Im sixteen and he's now eighteen)... I'm asking, what are the chances and risks that I may be, and, what or where could I find the affects of having an abortion, in which I do not want to do...
------------------ -2 years of bliss Jan. 03, 2003-
[This message has been edited by bracksbaby (edited 12-18-2002).]
Posts: 1 | From: Hoskinston, KY, USA | Registered: Dec 2002
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First thing you're goinng to do is take a Very Big Breath.
Okay. We good? Good. Need a glass of water? Get it. So, let's address this one bit at a time, slow and clear.
1) If condoms are used for ALL genital contact, from start to finish, and do not rip, slip off or ttear, you can reat assured that for that time, it has been 100% -- yep, 100% -- effective as birth control. Spermicide doesn't offer much even if condoms do tear, but when they're on the whole time and don't, it offers nothing at all, and may in fact make it MORE likely to spread infection, so no need to beat yourself up over that. We, in fact, only reccomend NONspermicidal condoms here.
2) Before you go this loopy, just go get a pregnancy test and take the thing. If, as stated above, you had no rippage or slippage, it's very unlikely, but hey -- sounds like you need the peace of knowing, as anyone would. So go do that. After you do that, we can get to talking about pregnancy options if you need to, but there's just no sense in going nuts about it before you know. One step at a time, girl.
3) It's normal after intercourse to find the outside of the condom has discharge on it because you produce your own lubrication and discharge, which the condom comes in contact with.
4) It's possible -- and somewhat common -- to begin to feel pregnancy symptoms if you fear you may be pregnant. But some of the symptoms you're describing would be prettty unusual to have if you were this early in the game.
Okay? So, go get that test and ttake it. And we're here to help you take it from there, no matter the result.
PS: It's cool to recognize that maybe right now is not the right time for you to be sexually active if the possibility of pregnancy is just not okay with you -- and if you;re just not at all prepared to deal with it should that even happen (though bear in mind, emergency contraception is available should you ever HAVE a condom break). But calm down a little -- there's no nneed to decide this means you'll "never have sex again," unless that's rerally what you want over the years. I assure you, it will not alwaays be this intense.
A couple other things. We don't recommend the use of spermicide. Many people find that it irritates them and it can actually increase the risk of STD/STIs. A non-spermicidal condom with lube works just fine. A Simple Condom Primer will walk you through using a condom.
Finally, please understand that being sexually active comes with a host of risks. You can take steps to significantly reduce these risks but eliminating them in full can only be done via abstinence. Why not go through the Ready or Not? –The Readiness Checklist and think over whether or not sex is something you want in your life right now.
<This likely would have been a mindmeld had I not been using evil dial-up. LAN connection I miss you!>
[This message has been edited by ookuotoe (edited 12-18-2002).]
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