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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » EXPERT ADVICE » Ask Scarleteen » sexuality

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Member # 110483

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Hello I am Audri I am currently 20 going to turn 21 soon.
Well I don't know where to start on this but hopefully you understand.
Recently I have been questioning my sexuality more than usual and I really don't know what I am. I grew up thinking I was straight imagining a whole love story for myself but then things changed. You see as a teenager I was exposed to erotica and well began to get turned on by lesbian action. Then I began to have physical attractions toward women. Even though I have never been in a relationship with a girl I have had moments in which I want to kiss a girl. Basically I just want to know if this physical attraction for women can go any further see if this means I am bi or gay. Sometimes I feel like I guess disgusted because I watch erotica and it exposed to something that was unexpected. Sometimes I think that if I would have never been exposed to erotica at one point I would be truly straight and find guys more attractive than woman. I guess my question is can erotica I guess change your sexuality/who you are attracted to? Does me finding women attractive and wanting to get more intimate with them mean I am gay/bi
FYI I have questioned my sexuality since I was around 13 or 14.


Posts: 1 | From: United States | Registered: Jun 2014  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 79774

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Welcome to the boards, Audri.

Looking at or watching erotica - or anything else - can't change someone's orientation.

Sometimes, erotica can be a part of someone discovering what they do and don't like, what they might or might not be interested in. What people like watching and what they like doing are also often not exactly the same things, as they're different aspects of a person's sexual self.

Orientation is a very varied and very personal thing, so you get to define your own orientation. Finding some women attractive and wanting to be intimate with them is a thing that suggests a woman might be lesbian or bi, yes, but it's by no means a certainty. Do you feel like gay/lesbian or bi might fit you?

It can be very confusing if we're brought up in a straight-focused society and the people around us, and maybe ourselves, assume we're straight, and then we're not sure if that really fits us or not. It's ok if it takes some time to figure it out.

If you haven't already seen these pieces on our main site, they might help you out a little with thinking about this:

The Rainbow Connection: Orientation for Everyone
[edit - previously wrong link now fixed]

Q is for Questioning

[ 06-03-2014, 10:55 AM: Message edited by: Redskies ]

The kyriarchy usually assumes that I am the kind of woman of whom it would approve. I have a peculiar kind of fun showing it just how much I am not.

Posts: 1786 | From: Europe | Registered: Sep 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 110155

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Sorry for butting in in the expert advice forum, I just wanted to correct that link: The Rainbow Connection: Orientation for Everyone
Posts: 116 | From: UK | Registered: Apr 2014  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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