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Author Topic: Soreness After Love-Making
PianoGirl101
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Member # 109778

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Hello, Scarleteen! This is my first post on here.

My story goes like this. I am 19, female, my fiancé is 21, male. My fiancé and I live a little ways away from one another. We only get to see each other on the weekends and recently it's only been one day a week. Usually on those days we fit in making love anywhere between 2 to 5 times between the night or two he stays and the the day he goes home whether it be one or two days. Usually 2 times a day minimum due to the fact that we only see each other a day or two in the week.

We both have been experiencing soreness after having intercourse after usually 2 or 3 times. Is this normal since we have so much intercourse in such a short time? After the 2nd or 3rd time, even though it starts bothering me a little and usually him too, we still want to work in some more love-making because we like it so much. Although, we are usually pretty sore after the 2nd or 3rd time.

I personally think it's my fault because even though I am very aroused and turned on by him, I don't feel I get as well lubricated down there the 3rd time or so as much as the 1st time. Which is causing the friction and rubbing that is causing the soreness. I read somewhere that more foreplay could help, although sometimes I just want to go at it and we don't do any foreplay at all which he is fine with. The foreplay factor I believe, is mostly for my benefit.

My question really is, is there any other reason or reason at all why we are getting sore after having intercourse a couple of times? When we get married and live together, and are able to see each other everyday/night, I don't want to have sex two or three times and then have to wait a couple days before we don't feel sore anymore to have sex again.

It's not that it doesn't feel great or anything, and around the 3rd time even though it is pretty painful getting him inside me (he pretty well endowed) and the first few thrusts are also uncomfortable, after we really start getting into it my lubrication finally (almost always) picks up and it doesn't really hurt until afterwards when the soreness rears it's ugly head again! Like I said, I feel turned on, aroused, etc. I just don't think my self-lubricant is enough... And I don't want to be sore anymore, nor make him sore. As there have times when the friction has been so bad that it has literally burned his penis and is sore to the touch and definitely too sore to make love for a few days which stinks...

We just want to be able to make love without the friction and soreness afterwards!

Thank you guys for reading and I'm looking forward to your response!

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Redskies
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Member # 79774

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Hi PianoGirl, and welcome to the boards.

The first big solution to this is: lube. Lubelubelubelube [Smile] In fact, this is so much of a solution, I might as well be a magician drawing a rabbit out of a hat, except it's lube instead of the rabbit [Smile]

Lube reduces friction. Many people need to use lube for intercourse to keep things feeling really good. We have some really good pieces about lubricant on the site, so I'll start you off with the main two and see how you go:
Lube 101: A Slick Little primer and
Lubricant (Not Diamonds) Is A Girl's Best Friend

There are a few other things to put into the mix as well. First, I'd suggest a small adaption to how you're thinking about this. For any of us, where our bodies are at, what they can do and what's good for them sometimes doesn't perfectly match what we want. It's wise to notice and act on what the body's telling us. That absolutely doesn't mean having to abandon all parts of what we wanted! It just means putting our body's considerations into the mix as well. If one or both of your bodies are just not comfortable with so much intercourse in a short space of time, you might switch out some of the intercourse for other kinds of sex which Do only feel great for your bodies. If one or both of your bodies feels slightly sore from earlier intercourse, you might just give it a few more hours until it feels fine again rather than jumping in earlier with more intercourse that leaves one or both of you sore for days - doing any kind of sex more when it already hurts or is uncomfortable is only going to make it hurt more. You both might also opt to switch out some of the intercourse for other kinds of physical intimacy and sensual contact.

If you're having some pain with entry, then again, lube will likely help with that. You probably also do need to take some more time for your body to get fully aroused, perhaps by sexy talk, sensual contact, and/or other kinds of sex - whatever appeals to the both of you. Trying to continue through pain is likely only helping create some of the soreness you get.

From OW! to WOW! Demystifying Painful Intercourse has more details and guidance that should help you out.

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The kyriarchy usually assumes that I am the kind of woman of whom it would approve. I have a peculiar kind of fun showing it just how much I am not.

Posts: 1786 | From: Europe | Registered: Sep 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
PianoGirl101
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Thank you very much for your advice. We do have some lube but it is the kind that is like a cooling gel that numbs down there so we don't really like or use it unless we really need it. I read the articles, although, so I will look into some of the other types of lubricant that may be a better fit for us.

I will definitely talk to him about continuing foreplay for a while longer, also.

Thank you so much again for your response, and I appreciate it greatly!

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Redskies
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You're welcome!

A lot of people would not like a cooling = numbing lubricant, for obvious reasons. It's pretty common to see lubes marketed for some stunt/novelty purpose - and for the minority of people who actually like any of those particular effects, that's great! - but really, the main function and value of lube is just to make everything more slippery, so things feel really good from the beginning and no-one gets sore from too much friction. A lubricant that doesn't claim any novelty effect would probably fit your purpose very well.

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The kyriarchy usually assumes that I am the kind of woman of whom it would approve. I have a peculiar kind of fun showing it just how much I am not.

Posts: 1786 | From: Europe | Registered: Sep 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
PianoGirl101
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Member # 109778

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Ahh, yes. When we bought the first thing of lube we didn't really know any difference between the others so we just picked the one that ended up looking the best. I'm glad I have a better outlook on what kinds may be better in use.

It'll just be nice to have a solution to our soreness issue! Thanks again!

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