Hi. First off, I just wanted to say that I love this site and it never fails to make me feel better about myself! Thank you so much. So, my problem is that I have thick, coarse black hair, like pubic hair on my stomach, around my belly button particularly. There is a more thinner happy trail going up, but that hair is still black. When I was twelve years old, I shaved it. I shaved it more and more because I knew no better. When I told my mom that I shaved it, she told me to stop because it would grow back blacker and thicker. Well I quit shaving it and I hate it. And what's worse is that I am extremely pale and so it stands out even more. My problem is that I don't want it to be there any more. I don't want to have to shave it or wax it for the rest of my life. If I shave it, it comes back thicker, starts to grow back within a few hours, and leaves stubble that looks like a bunch of black heads on my stomach. With waxing, you have to wait until it gets the right length before you can wax it again. I know that I don't HAVE to do anything about it. I do not find the hair in any way "gross", but it seems that especially in society today, woman are considered "disgusting" if they have hair ANYWHERE besides their heads! I do not like to diminish something just because I am insecure about it, but it seems that it will be a huge turn off to any sexual partners in the future. I do not want that to happen and I feel as if it will turn them off more often than not. I doesn't seem possible to find a guy who will accept it because especially today, everyone is made to think that hairless women are attractive and hairy ones are not. I guess my question is should I wax/shave it for the rest of my life because I don't like it? Or accept it for what it is regardless of what anyone says? And will there be a good amount of men who will not mind it, or at least accept it? Thank you.
-------------------- "A eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind" - Mahatama Gandhi Posts: 6 | Registered: Feb 2014
| IP: Logged |
It sounds like you already know the answer to your question: what you "should" do is exactly what you feel best with. There are no right answers here. If you want to wax or shave because it makes you feel better, you can do that. It's okay to recognize that you feel insecure about something because of an unhealthy discourse, and feel insecure about it anyway. We don't live in a vacuum, after all, and our surroundings do affect us.
But you also will, absolutely, find partners who find you attractive if you decide to leave the hair as it is. And you know, in the long run, we tend to be happier, healthier people if we learn to accept and celebrate our bodies, rather than trying to change them. And that's already worth a lot all on its own.
(And by the way: hair does not actually grow back thicker and darker when it is shaved. That is a myth. It can only sometimes look thicker because the top of the hair is blunted from shaving.)
-------------------- Johanna Scarleteen Volunteer
"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand Posts: 9192 | From: Cologne, Germany | Registered: Sep 2005
| IP: Logged |
Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998
Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.